"abs" poems
I Craw in the Urban Jungle night after night, making shadows my best friend
Because my pale skin would get sunburn in the day time.
Many of you have read about me on the internet,
But don't know if we exist like the Yeti or Bigfoot
Every now and then you see photos of me and hear stories about our existence
But here I am, White, Nerdy and…. Nerdy
Nerdy like the Nerds falling out of the box and skipping on the floor of my lair
(or my parents basement whatever you call it).
Some moments you will find me praying to my shrine for my savior, Weird Al Yankovic
Many of you may call us “ Losers”
But let me take a moment to tell you why you are wrong, in every way.
First off, We are not losers we just win at things that you don't care about
Like the Rubik's Cube, Dungeon and Dragons, and Larping
We don’t care about making friends, getting the poo tang, or getting high off of our *****
No we are too occupied trying to plan how we will survive the zombie apocalypse,
Or debating on if Star Wars is better than Star Track.
We are too busy reading comic books, Leveling up our one handedness
On Skyrim of course.
You think that we are hideous,
But in all reality, my acne improves my defenses against mother nature,
My braces are actually tools that government uses so they can reflect solar flares back to space
I'm ugly because god decided to make me pick up girls on ******** mode because before you Meet me it was way too easy.
Many of you think that we are weak
I may have spaghetti arms, no abs, but you know what, no problem,
Because if you look at my shadow, you see someone that 10 feet tall and bulletproof
I am a nerd, hear me roar.
My roar breaks your paper thin confidence
As it just floats in the wind like leaves, leaving the tree in October
My roar will rock your house with all of your friends leaving you alone because in the end, you May be popular but lets be honest, who are your real friends?
Call me weak, I dare you
Being a nerd has taught me many things
Like don't eat cake because it is deceiving
And that Neo should of taken the blue pill
Because that movie series was terrible.
And that DC Comics is the best, ***** Marvel
But the one thing it taught me the most is that be proud of myself.
Jan 30, 2014
Jan 30, 2014 at 10:03 PM UTC
Marvelous
A beauty to Be had
His body with its chiseled curves His large hands
As I gazed upon him
I noticed his perfect form
And his very chiseled abs
Not a blemish to be had
As I touched his pale white body
So smooth
Almost soft to be exact
His hair so full and curls
A plenty
Who is this beautiful man
With perfect form
A work of art to be adored
Timeless in his form.
His name is
David.
By Michael Angelo.
Jan 5, 2018
Jan 5, 2018 at 11:58 PM UTC
I am not probably the cuttest girl, or the tallest, or skinny with ***** ,abs and **** but i surely love you, what I feel for you is an endless love,something that even my dad cant break, or a jealous ex-girlfriend.We were made for each other, and I want to be yours forever♥
Jul 21, 2014
Jul 21, 2014 at 6:58 PM UTC
you haven't exercised in a week
you haven't exercised and you've been eating a lot - ice cream and candy and not entirely healthy things
you haven't exercised and you've been eating a lot and you've developed a slight pudge around your tummy where previously you wanted rock hard abs because you wanted to be strong
but you're finding that strong isn't what you've made it to be
maybe strong is more than slim bodies and powerful arms...maybe
and the strangest part of this journey of self-discovery is that, as your stomach starts to make itself a delicate padding and as you roll over in bed instead of going for a run, you are curiously the most happy you've been in weeks
and you love your body and it makes sense and you are happy
Mar 11, 2016
Mar 11, 2016 at 10:57 AM UTC
Did you just call me ugly?
How blind could you be?
Don't you know that I got God inside of me?
Tell me dear....
So, full of pride and so focused on your youthful looks.
How much makeup?
How much pride?
How many people?
Will be at your side,
When you close your eyes for the last time.
Tried to be **** at times myself.
Those ideas blew up in my face.
Got a lot of regret debts
anchored down in the valleys of the wrinkles on my face.
Did you know I used to have abs?
Not anymore.
One day I heard my stomach having a private conversation,
with gravity.
Gravity said, 'Winning!'
Took my abs away.
Gave me arthritis and a fever in its place.
I **** so much.
I swear someone has a gun to my ***
It is so ****** up,
when the pistol starts to cry and laugh.
I need a walker most of the time.
I guess the only crime I committed was staying alive.
Yeah, I am old.
So, what! I made it this far.
Take your *** on and be thankful for who you are.
You don't know how good you got it.
You can still get around,
Without leaving fun size Hersey bars behind on the ground.
'Hey, old dude, what Hersey bars are you referring to you? The thing I see behind you are chocolate bars,
With corn toppings.
The old man starts to laugh.
The young lady says, 'Do you mean to tell me that you ******* while you were talking to me this whole time?
The young lady began to puke.
'Baby, I didn't **** on myself. My *** did all the work. I haven't been able to control my bladder for a few months now. Here is a tissue for your mouth though?'
'Did you just hand me your depends?' The young lady said.
'Yep! These Depends never judge me and makes me feel very special.'
The young lady walks away, as she continues to puke.
The old guy says, 'She is so slow. I thought that she would have given me my Depends diaper back.
'Uh oh! What am I going to doo-do in now? That girl stole my Depends!
(C) Copyrighted
Jan 30, 2017
Jan 30, 2017 at 10:06 PM UTC
Jealous Again
I put Black Flag, Jealous Again on the turntable
It spins and I spin
I hold my hands to my face like I have a mic
I feel like spitting as I pump my fist
MAYBE I AM JEALOUS
Jealous of the guy who has two kids
Jealous of the guy with a job
Jealous of the guy with a car
I put Black Flag, Jealous Again on the turntable
It spins and I spin
I make faces and show my teeth
My grill needs work
MAYBE I AM JEALOUS
Jealous of the guy who has nice teeth
Jealous of the guy with six pack abs
Jealous of the guy with a full head of hair
I shouldn't be jealous
I have me
My values
My family
My friends
I even have Black Flag, Jealous Again on vinyl
I have everything I need
I shouldn't be jealous
Mar 21, 2013
Mar 21, 2013 at 10:29 PM UTC
My wife, she likes those six pack abs
But me, I've got a keg
She can see that thing anytime she likes
And I won't even make her beg
I see myself as a muscle man
I workout everyday
Watching Tv with my plate on my belly
And putting that food away
My workout plan is a strenuous task
All I gotta do is eat
I know it works 'cause my belly keeps growing
Until I can't even see my feet
I go to the gym at least five times a day
Gym is the name of my fridge
There's so many ropes holding up my pants
'Til it looks like the brooklyn bridge
Yep, she really loves those six pack abs
And she says I'm shaped like an egg
It takes a very long time to look like this
So she better get used to the keg
Mar 29, 2011
Mar 29, 2011 at 11:20 AM UTC
•i
was
once
whole
•full and
complete•
grand desi-
gns adorned
upon my very
soul•always...
would land on
my feet•my wo-
rds now partially
broken•resembli-
ng that of an ail-
ing crescent• i...
am still here, i...
watch and i lis-
ten• scouring
for mediocre
remnants
that still
remain
abs
en
t•
.
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 10:25 AM UTC
looking for somewhere to lay my head
my favourite bed is your chest
tracing your abs, towards the treasure chest
i like the way it feels in my hands
i like what you say, your quiet face
pulling me towards the deep end
Jan 1, 2023
Jan 1, 2023 at 8:35 PM UTC
Welcome all friends who are allowed in.
You came to see a show but little did you know
that the girl you're about to witness
has no **** and only fitness.
Strong thighs, abs that lead to a v,
Long hair to cover where there's not much to see.
( o )( o )
When she walked, she walked tall.
When she danced, she took off her bra.
She could drop it low,
pick it up slow,
shake her *** better than your average skanky ***
( o )( o )
Fantasies of 80s rock music came alive
and it's hardly more than I can take.
I blacked out during my entire performance
on amateur night..
to Whitesnake.
( o )( o )
As I do recall,
first is the worst,
second is the best.
For that's what I got
with such a little chest.
I left with my pride
and 600 dollars in my boot.
Bucket list off for dancing on a pole
in my birthday suit.
Nov 21, 2014
Nov 21, 2014 at 1:32 AM UTC
Summer Solstice
"Everybody knows that the change is coming
"Everybody knows that the deck is stacked"
Leonard Cohen
In Colorado, the Cache La Poudre is burning
That's where they hid the gunpowder
Has it blown yet?
In the Southeast Asia Enterprise Zone
The suicide nets are ready for another night's harvest
Do we understand that our beautiful electric screens
Are polished with blood?
In Syria, the death squads are arming
For another day in the abattoir
Everyone is ready for the bodies
I called out to you in the night
I dreamed you loved me
From the bottom of your soul
In the morning, your e-mail address
Was blocked, texts came back forlorn
The earth is crying out
But Jimi is so long gone
No one understands
And the wind howls alone
In the land of plenty
We're all tucked into our corners
Of the unlimited cage match
Our abs are ripped
Our tattoos look good
But our eyes are empty.
Winter is coming.
Jun 21, 2012
Jun 21, 2012 at 12:42 AM UTC
she used to be okay.
always a smile on her face and
she talked with a sweet voice,
which is something i don't want to under state,
and she never really cared that she was
40 pounds overweight.
but now as she lays on the beach
and no boys and no girls look her way
she feels invisible, even while she dreams of
being able to tell her parents that she
might be gay.
her parents talk about her figure
and how she'll never compare to how her
sister looked when she was her age.
thin, toned legs and a stomach with abs.
after all, who wants to date a girl
with flabs?
she has a blog dedicated to the thin girls
who make her feel so bad,
it makes her feel less,
it makes her feel sad.
if only she counted calories and
if only she could fit in that size two,
maybe she's be the perfect daughter that
her parents wish they knew.
but even as she drinks a sprite and
takes all her bites in spite she knows that
if she was skinny then
everything would be alright.
all she needs a push and a pro ana friend and
maybe she can be the perfect daughter
again. She can't like girls and she
must skip dinner, by the end of the year her
bones and boyfriend will
show that she is a winner.
-r.a.
Jul 15, 2013
Jul 15, 2013 at 4:08 PM UTC
You faint and fawn over pretty faces
A person who can buy you nice things
A sociopath with sic six pack abs
Who places passion over common sense
A perfect prince charming to make you swoon
Who will sweep you off your feet
Fly you to the moon and all those other
Outdated overrated simplistic ********
Fairytale dreams
And you wonder why the world *****
Why it’s getting worse
Because your desire is tied to your Gucci purse
Because if sociopaths are what you want
Then every other guy will strive to fit that bill
Will hollow himself out to live up to that deal
Cause you are the best reinforcement for bad behavior
Jan 6, 2015
Jan 6, 2015 at 5:06 PM UTC
Quit smoking and excessive drinking,
It was supposed to help with healthy thinking.
That day I made it clear to myself
It's also time to quit you.
Gone hard on greens, had spinach, kale daily.
Worked out every other day, I even had a schedule.
On weekly basis: abs, some arms and lots of ***
My selfie game was on point, I got a tonne DMs.
Until a day I saw you holding hands
And heard you called her 'girlfriend'.
You never called me that in front of your best friends.
It really hurt, I couldn’t stop it.
That day I started smoking cigarettes again
And drinking wine, I had no schedule.
I've made a lot of calls and texts
Quite clearly, I couldn't quit you.
I liked you when you’ve had a ‘few’ tequilas
You’d talk things intimate, it felt as if you mean it.
I really hope you go back to heavy drinking
And start to feel instead of thinking.
Feb 5, 2018
Feb 5, 2018 at 5:39 AM UTC
Have you ever been to a sporting event ladies
Perhaps track or football
Where you got to watch powerful men compete
Did you watch the men at track practice
Their shirts off
Bodies glistening in the sun
Rock hard abs
Powerful chests
Strong powerful legs
And tight buttocks
You watch him throw the javelin
The javelin is like a symbol
Of his powerful male member
Do you want to run your hands on his powerful body?
You begin to massage your inner thigh
There is a cool breeze blowing
You spread your legs slightly
As the wind rushes up your skirt
You didn't wear ******* to this practice
It's time to return to your dorm
And fantasize about him
While you explore with your *** toys
Sep 21, 2014
Sep 21, 2014 at 11:21 AM UTC
you're like a warm sweater straight out of the dryer
you're like a Disney movie on a bad day
you're like the greatest dream of all time without
the disappointment of it not being real when i wake up
you're like the sound of applause after a terrifying performance
you're like a warm bath for an aching body
you're like looking at the sun and the moon in the same sky
you're like a million double takes
you're like the feeling of jumping through giant puddles in polka dot rain-boots
you're like the gold at the end of the rainbow
you're like a mermaid that glistens under water
you're like the first song i ever wrote
you're like puppy-kisses and newly hatched birds and scented candles and poetry
you're like holding a cup of hot chocolate while
wrapped in a blanket sitting by a hand made fire
you're the feeling of watching the first snowfall of the season
you're the feeling of getting 100% on a test without studying
you're like a quote by L.M. Montgomery
you're the feeling of watching a Mississippi thunderstorm
you're the feeling of watching the fireworks at Disney World for the first time
you're the feeling of aching abs after excessive laughter
you are my kindred spirit
may we never grow up.
Apr 22, 2013
Apr 22, 2013 at 12:16 AM UTC
In the orange cream dying sun's half light
swaddled by blankets wrapped in ***** clothes
I open my lips wanting your taste
eye to eye, mons ***** warm fragrance
To offer myself and soul over completely
When we were young did you ever think
we'd drown in the ocean of flesh between legs?
She smiled brightly, made noises
overjoyed much more than confused,
though that's not the story now, is it?
In an instant passion rises up with steam
gone again before I wipe the mirror and
brush my teeth, and once again I see
blackened debris, they're rotting out
from misspoke verbs
All that's sweet now is the imagining
of diabetic what once was
Two closed eyes reach back with a breathy sigh
withheld truths and well meant half lies,
cannot inspire lift again that left me,
but that doesn't stop the faithful
Has the tide this whole time been sending
waves of false hope, on which I'm floating?
Daydreaming, heating oil, she wants dinner,
and I hunger for satisfaction in new pictures
A hand for a finger, a tongue from both mouths
comforting by grabbing hungrily
until heads get thrown back, abs tighten
when pressed to relax, on the rack
stretched but both floating
Why does she want to drink my blood?
I don't ask just imbibe in return
Those days are long gone
Times when the worst thoughts could not undo
whatever flicker remains in the waning brazier's ember
Mar 23, 2017
Mar 23, 2017 at 7:43 AM UTC
Beauty.
The standard goal.
Society kills me.
They tell you to “be yourself, you’re beautiful”
Judge you for it,
Then encourage you to do it again.
Who are they to decide?
In fact, who decided the status quo,
What determines true beauty?
They say everyone’s beautiful in their own way,
But that’s just the appetizer.
The main course is the “fact” that everyone’s different,.
And in order to achieve the standard level of “perfect”,
“Buy this item! It’ll make you more perfect, I swear!”
“Wear these clothes, it’ll complement the parts of your body we’ve defined as
‘Attractive’!”
“Do these workouts, it’ll give you a flatter stomach, tighter abs, a sexier beach body!”
The fact that they took our weak spot,
Perfection
And dangled the idea,
The possibility in front of us
To sell their products
To keep us coming back, to make money
Because, let’s be real, money’s everything.
They convince us that we can achieve something that doesn't exist,
But we want it to,
We hope for it,
Because….what?
Looks are everything?
No.
In 80 years, we’ll all look old and weird, so what’s the point?
Look good everyday,
Hope someone finds you attractive,
Potentially fall in “love” with somebody who only desires your looks?
If that’s your goal, *** you've got your priorities mixed up
Life’s not gonna care whether you’re
Attractive,
Ugly,
Skinny,
Thick,
Short,
Tall,
Smart,
Stupid,
Or the greatest person alive.
It’s gonna knock you down no matter what,
And in 120 years, we’ll all be dead anyway.
Why waste your time hoping to accomplish a false reality,
So you can live your years in luxury,
Rather than just being thankful and happy?
Don’t spend your time trying to get to what you don’t even want,
But have been programmed to accept.
Re-program yourself.
***** the system.
Jun 2, 2015
Jun 2, 2015 at 2:06 AM UTC
You are cute.
Not the, "wow look at his abs" cute,
but the sweet cute.
You said I have a pretty face.
I just had to laugh.
You called me pretty lady too.
I smiled like a small child.
It was sweet.
Pure sweetness.
And,
Well,
We all know,
Sweetness is my weakness.
Oct 10, 2012
Oct 10, 2012 at 12:16 AM UTC
I tried to be Insta-famous
Insecurities celebrated
Half naked, for the attention
High on pillies, money, vacation
With every notification
Filling the void behind my left breast
I worked for it
With body goals like this
Rock solid abs
Icon: fire and 100%
A whole snack
A girl that don't crack
Strip on that pic
Like Cardi B on that pole
Dancing around men
With the only goal of getting rich
Hurt them
Slight curl at the corner of my pillow lips
Ruin them
Feed the feed with self-admiration
It was the meds
or was it?
Inner ego
Remain incognito
Only every other photo
Only then you can show
How you could work that camera phone
May 8, 2018
May 8, 2018 at 11:05 PM UTC
Negligible morsel of biomass
my fat belly, formerly abs
insignificant yet it occupies me
hourly while bored or hungry.
Fat is what? a picture
of despair, giving up caring
or man out of balance, other
side of the world's starving
mass, case of the soul's malnutrition
industrial agriculture, television
supermarkets, vacations, hydrocarbons
and the grid. Electricity, urban
traffic jams, photons at final
rest. Sugars synthesized, abundant
plastics to carry them home in.
Into your house and into your mirror.
Memorizing the periodic table
and learning the calculus makes one
no thinner. Walking the mountain
in heat and cold and rain, alone
or in fire crews should inhibit.
And a healthy fear of death. A laugh
a day at *** and pain and fate
which renews the biomass I hate.
Feb 2, 2016
Feb 2, 2016 at 10:52 AM UTC
Dont hate me cuz I am beautiful
Looking Hijabi-licious for Allah, devoutly dutiful
Shaking your head at me cuz I cover
Wouldn’t take you nor your wingman as a lover
Glaring at me crazily cuz I’m veiled
An ocean of chastity you’ve never sailed
And you’re all alarmed cuz I’m devout
I’m hijab-tastic! Not even a single toe is out!
You can quit cat-calling me too; Cuz I’m chaste
Aint’ no welcome sign wrapped ‘round this waist
Tryna peer pressure me cuz I’m concealed
And ain’t out here tryna cop a feel
Pontificating that I’m oppressed cuz I’m different
“miss Muhammed is much too modest, we like ‘em ignorant”
And you’re kinda curious cuz u cant cuddle this Jelly
Joker, Lord knows ur stupid tail ain’t ready
So don’t hate cuz you, your boy, and your girl cant touch this
I’m a female manifestation of feminine justice
*********************************************
And girl, now you’re just jealous cuz you think he likes it
Said “wonder what her hair’s like when she unties it?”
Yeah She’s hoping to high heaven that I’m hot in my Hijab
So she can get me to join her in flashing flabby flabs of abs
Don’t be mean to me cuz real men find me appealing
Kindly consider concealing all the cleavage you’ve been revealing
You’re surprised because our boss recognized my mind?
Could it be because he isn’t busy admiring my behind?
I heard there was insane party where the office nicknamed you Lil “Miss loose & cray cray”
Oh, Dang. Anyway, they nicknamed me Lil Miss gotta go pray pray
You out here hating cuz my beauty is discreet
But if I was half naked, girl you know you couldn’t compete
So later for you, your lewd dude, and your half **** crew!
It’s not your pleasure that I seek
Allah, the Beautiful Fashioner, formed this physique
Verily Allah made everything valuable a challenge to achieve
Pearls, diamonds, gold, heaven, and— yes!— even ME
He, Almighty, offered me a trade treaty,
His commands for my Destiny
So I traded in ****** for decency
I traded in popularity for modesty
And I’m trading in your knuckle-headed opinion
For His highest heavenly dominion
Hijab-ulous 4 life!
Dec 7, 2020
Dec 7, 2020 at 2:34 AM UTC
Don’t look at his arms now.
Stiff and swollen, small muscles
curled in like a mountain:
needing someone to open the gym
an hour to workout.
That arm held the weight,
made the ladies say
ripped and attractive.
Don’t think of his heart
behind thick abs flirting
with girls, his voice
drowning in grunts and moans,
his daily routine.
Think of the bodybuilder who slid
3 steriods down scaffolding esophaguses,
every meal,
who stood up to Death the Dealer
for more hits to take on.
Keep him the image of the unhealthy,
straight-backed on the gym floor
in sickness, sighing
from his choice.
Keep his image holding
needles, syringes, and pills,
bringing your heartbeat down
not on the muscle,
your mind’s logic sweeping off fantasies.
Feb 10, 2016
Feb 10, 2016 at 8:47 PM UTC
I wander into this dark, misTearYous room
—and there he was...and wow! What a Fig!
He with the long, lustRuse hair,
sitting at a corner table, nursing a cup of hot cocoa.
Dang. He has better hair than I do!
“I’m a gin at Ion’s,” were his first words spoken.
“I’m a gin at Ion’s.” And then sighlens.
I was trying to look through his lens, and figure out his sighs,
when he utters, “I can see you are number—“
“Huh? I am number what? I don’t see any lines here..."
“Ah, yes you are, as I was... NumBer as in more than numb.”
Epicfunny!
He definitely got me, he with the misTearYous eyes
so I sit down and ask him what he means
(but I refused to ask how he saw through my numbity)
“What do you mean that you are a gin? And where is Ion’s?”
“Exactly just that. I’m a gin at Ion’s. A **** t’Eve.”
He tells me that Ion’s is nowhere, everywhere and knowhere,
of how anyone who takes even a sip of that gin can hold on to it—
too much, so much so, as to lose that grip on ReAhhlity...
I ask him what he does there.
Seemingly one word, two meanings—
"aMuse," says he...
He reveals he is also part-tickles, part abs-tackles
then he also exhails at wind ‘o pains,
to fog or clear up views and relayshunships...
But oh! How at one point he felt tieurd, of how he had so many callUses—
numb, tired of how it reCurse, of always being called upon, of being used
Sighlens.
Been used So many times, he didn’t know who he was anymore...
a Duke at Ion’s,
a con’s front at Ion’s,
an ex pecked at Ion’s,
a lucid at Ion’s,
a rebel at Ion’s...
Oddly enough, even if he has been ‘d sign at Ion’s,
he still felt blahtantly invisible,
even if at one point he wore only a V-bra at Ion’s!
He chalks everything up to exPeerience, and has learned from it.
And that's why he's also known as a sensei at Ion’s (his personal favorite)
He says even if he can go beyond infinity, he—
He stops (ah gain!) and yes, there it sneaked in...Sighlens.
Telling me through the void, through his sighs, through his lens
To close my eyes, and figYour out myself.
And then I do...
ReAhhlieZing how much I could relate,
how I have been in DenyAll of my possiBElities.
It is all a matter of perSpeck'tEve, of looking at each tiny speck of life,
of creating something from each of it, entire universes even—
boundless
How odd that I myself felt like I'm a gin at Ion's...
Scrunchscrunch...Imaginations.
Addictive, yes, so I best be careful with where I take it.
I oh!pen my eyes and the fig meant to show me ReAhhlity had gone...
Mar 23, 2012
Mar 23, 2012 at 1:12 PM UTC