I want to be left alone.
To cry,
to sleep.
To be left alone with my feelings.
I wouldn't have people asking me what's wrong,
wouldn't have to explain myself.
Some people say being alone isn't good,
Well I disagree.
Being alone,
helps you understand your feelings,
clear your mind.
It's peaceful and quiet.
That's why I prefer being alone.

I want to fight.
For my friends,
my family.
But I'm not strong enough.
Never will be.

The best thing to do instead of complaining is be silent.
Well, that's what I've been taught.
When people ask you what's wrong,
they really don't care.
They just want you to think that.
Make you tell them everything.
Then use it against you.
I keep what I want to say inside,
sometimes,
I only say the little things.
That really don't matter.
I've thought of being mute,  
to never speak again.
I wouldn't have to say what I feel,
wouldn't have to put my feelings out there.
That would make things so much easier.
For me.
For everyone.

I'd wish you'd see me at home.
When I look my best.
My shirt tight,
that pushes up my *****.
When my eyes look naughty
And mishevious.
When my curves pop out the way you like it.
When I walk around in my boy shorts,
giving my **** a cute and **** look.
I could play rough or play it gentle.
I just want to be looked at in that way.
That's all.

If only you could see what your doing to me.
You bring me to my knees,
begging for you.
If you could only see the way I love you.
The way I stand by your side,
making sure your okay.
Wipe away the dirt when you fall ..
So tell me darling,
Why can't you see that I'm the one whose been here all along?

You try to be your best.
Try to be strong when your breaking.
You keep that smile on your face,
even if it is fake.
You try to be happy for others.
Just be you.

Slowly sinking into a hopeless nightmare.
The memory of you hauting me,
killing me.
Can't you see what your doing to me?
Prying into my dreams and giving me a ..
kiss with a fist.

Believe me when I speak to you.
Believe me when I say you complete me.
Believe me when I say I need you.
Believe me when I say I feel safe in your arms.
Believe me when I say things will never be the same.
Believe me when I hug you,
I don't wanna let go.
Believe me,
when you hold me,
I wish YOU'D never let me go.
Believe me when I say these words to you.
Love is all I feel for you.

You play mind games,
steal away hearts
and feelings..
If all of the stuff people say is true..
Then why do I still love you ?

They say that love is forever,
your forever is all that I need.
Your my other half, my twin
and companion.
You've completed my life Beauty.
Made it better than it was,
I wish you'd talk to me...
Tell me things you wish you couldn't.
Trust me.
I can't lose you.
I WON'T lose you.
That's not an option.
Please Beauty.
What if I fell to the floor,
couldn't take this anymore...
What would you do?
Please don't leave me,
I don't know long I could stay sane without you here.
My dear, sweet, sweet
beauty.

I'd watch her at a distance
Her lean petite body not as confident
as she seemed to be.
Her smile didn't quite reach her ears
and her laugh seemed to be strained.
Her hair falling loosely in front
of her Latin skinned face.
The strands covered her striking black eyes.
So people couldn't see the pain inside.
I couldn't yet reach her.
She seemed to get farther away,
fading.
Her heartbeat slowly sinking.
She was falling.
Into a new world.
A mad one at that.
Her soft, pale hands played softly against the guitar strings, playing a
gentle melody.
Her beautiful soul.
Which was slowly dying,
would be treasured.
"Nevermore"
Who is this hidden creature,
beyond the wall?
Tis is me and nothing more.

We deserve to be happy.
Deserve to smile and laugh.
To feel like we have the right to breath and be free.
Do you ever feel like your not worthy of living?
Well don't.
Your here on this very earth for a reason.
I know I sound like some stupid theraspist who just wants to make you feel 'better'
but I'm not,
I feel like this too.
Feel like I'm not good enough for my beating heart.
The rich scarlet red blood rushing through my body.
I don't deserve to be happy..
I've treated my mind and body horribly,
but I want to be happy.
Just feel more like myself when I'm not.
What makes you you?

The number 25 was marked along the front of my hand, between my thumb and index finger.
It lowered each and every day.
Its no tattoo,
nothing that I wanted to be inprinted on my very skin.
I wasn't your normal girl,
I was more than that.
People call me:
Saint,
Devil Worshipper,
but you see, I'm not any of those things.
I may have different things about me,
that no one else has.
But I am still human.
I have a heartbeat,
blood,
a mind,
and a soul just like the rest of you.
I am no alien.
You wouldn't be able to tell I was different just by looking at me.
You'd say a friendly hi,
and get taken back from the others.
She is cursed.
They would say to you.
I do not get effected by the quiet whispers that are around me,
tis is nothing new.
They say the number on my hand is the days I've worked for the devil.
The day I fell from heaven and hit rock bottom.
The day I reached up from the ground and cursed this Earth.
They have no clue what this number means.
Would you like to know ?
Every day the numbers go down..
24
Waiting...
23
Waiting...
22
Waiting...
21
Anticipation.­..
20
Ignore the whispers...
19
Live like there is nothing wrong...
18
Enjoy being out in the sun...
17
Your fine...
16
Live on...
15
The crazy buzzing noise in your head...
14
Your hearts still beating...
13
Thee unlucky number...
12
Pace the room...
11
Bite your fingernails...
10
Whisper silently to yourself...
9
The world becomes to darken...
8
Your blood begans darken...
7
The air gets colder...
6
Your legs start to shake...
5
Your thoughts become realer...
4
Nervous of what is coming...
3
Don't forget to say goodbye...
2
Watch the number mold into your hand
1
I'm dead...

As I lay here in bed, my mind buzzed,
I think of how ****** up my world has become.
All because of me.
I feel trapped inside my body,
no escape.
I haven't eaten for days now,
my stomach is dead just like the rest of me.
I feel unwanted,
of course I would feel that way!
I'm useless,
a **** up,
stupid.
No one would ever want to be around someone like me..
I wouldn't want to be around someone like me either.
I have no more emotion,
trapped inside my heart,
which is slowly fading away...
Could I get better?
Maybe be more social,
smile and laugh like others,
wear bright colors,
be normal.
As I lay here in bed, my mind still buzzed,
I wish to die.
Be a free spirit of no remorse,
no pain,
no worries..
I wish it was ALL gone.
No remembrance of the past tragedies that have gone by,
I just wish it would all disapear in a gust of wind.
Wish there was ..
No tomorrow.

The raven was perched upon my window ledge.
Whispering sinful melodies that were only heard by my ear.
I grin, having a silent conversation with the delicate and haunted bird.
Others thought I was crazy!
Saying there was no such thing as a conversation with rodent,
but oh were they wrong!
This maginficent bird stole away my sanity,
his malevolent eyes staring into my soul, ripping it up piece by piece.
But I did not surrender, still spoke to the ruthless bird.
He was my only 'friend', the other kids thought I was mad.
I wasn't mad you see,
just an acquisitive raven who stole away my sanity.