Lately times haven't been great.
Silent wheels screeching, killing inside my mind.
I can't say I am who I was.
For good.
Or for worse...
I'm completely broken, bruised.
I am little.
I am scared.
I can't stop once I've started,
refuse.
You say I am different.
That I won't hurt you like the rest...
I warned you, that I always stay the same.

What now?
Please tell me.
Why am I here?
Who am I?
I am lost in a jungle of dark, radioactive killing machines.
No feelings,
no sound.
Silence rings along the ****** ground.
Stumbling back acid like branches,
hitting me.
I don't know where to go.
I dont know...
Please tell me...
WHAT NOW!

Whispering willows,
slowly singing a euphony.
Cries loud enough to hear through soundproof walls
and covered vents.
Leaves that fall to their death.
Only to be then shattered beneath a plastic,
sadistic platinum foot.
Sad trees no longer visioning its "Great Perhaps"
A cup of tea sipped every second to Pluto,
who has tragically been disclaimed as a brother,
and back.
No long wondering who and why,
when and where.
Indebtedness being a rare occasion.
The colors of summer,
adapt to the mourning sun.
Fall has come.
Where reincarnation is now the cycle of life.

I'm Fine

Being as high as I am,
I feel pretty **** low.
Manipulated to the point of not knowing right,
from wrong.
Family secrets unraveling slowly like a snake from sleep.
Poisonous fangs shooting out like lies.
Killing.
I'm no ones baby girl anymore.
I've become the monster hidden beneath my bed.
I'm an emotion disaster killing every living organism in my path.
Fall in love too slow,
too fast.
Have 991 on speed dial because sometimes,
the other half comes out.
No sleep,
no serenity,
no hope.
Satan's music blast through my devil ears,
sinning to the point being an angel,
is the worst in the book.
It crashed hard.
I could barely breath..
I've learned to use my heart when needed.
I've forgotten how.
For being as high as I am,
why do you make me so low?

I wish I had you.
Wish you could see me when I feel pretty
(Which is a rare occasion)
I want you to take wacky photos with me.
I wish you'd see the way I look at you.
Hear the way my heart screams out your name.
I wish your lips would meet mine again..
I want your kisses again.
Every song reminds me of you.
A memory too great to forget and too painful to remember.
Cuddling on your silky soft bed,
whispering how much we love each other.
The 3rd Soft Kitty song done slow.
When I look in the mirror,
I wish you were behind me,
staring back.
I want to play video games and act like kids who never knew what living meant!
I want you to compliment me when you want me to hurry up.
I want someone to dress up for.
I want your love.
Your heart,
your soul.
I wish I (h)ad you.

Lately. People have begun to believe I am God.
What a demented idea!
Last time I checked,
I ***,
I cry,
I laugh,
I bleed.
Just like the rest of yer!
No, they don't believe I have some mighty,
unnatural power.
They believe my hands are big enough to carry every ones complication.
I have my own problems,
but i am very ..
compassionate.
I can get hurt.
I bleed when I fall down or cry when I see a sad sob movie.
I may look strong and content on the inside.
But no one can see the repulsive, crestfallen deliberation inside in my head.