i won’t ask you where you are
you wont let me fall asleep in your bed
i will sit patiently and listen to you talk about the newest love of your life,
i will smile and congratulate you.
i don’t question the nights you’re too busy,
you don’t wonder why i haven’t replied to you in days

at the red light I turned to you and watched you sing to me,
looking into my own reflection through your pupils
i’m watching myself tumble down a brazen hill, thickets itching at my knees and palms
when i was 15 i didn’t think love was supposed to make you bleed

you’re the type of person I’d reconstruct myself for
for you, i will tear down the foundation of my boundaries
we don’t have to say the words, in fear of what we feel becoming real
i wouldn’t ask you to change yourself for me

but you, for you, i will shape-shift and contort myself to fit the mold of your lover

our security isn’t established by words of affirmation or gift giving,
i am secure under the steady grip of your hand on my throat
i wrap your thigh in gauze and don’t allow myself to kiss the band aid before applying it
my lips part but I refuse to say the words