Why can’t we do this
Why am I not allowed to love
Why would I never get your kiss
Why would you never love?

Come on now, they love you they say
Put you in your social place only to stay
Stay there until you find him there
A person that knows and will care

But
Why can’t I fall in love with another
How is me, blushing, such a bother
What obliges me to not want a touch
Or a kiss or a caress or such?

Stop it, they tell me
This is not how it’s meant to be
You know your status and how you look
You know he picks up girls rather than a book

But
Here I stand, my own team
Trying to fight for love
Trying to fulfill my dream.

The dust on your eyes
(I believe, I think, In my opinion)
Should have been blown away
Around the time of our goodbyes.


Get rid of the wrinkles age gave you
Lose the black and blue of the late Night
(I believe, I think, In my opinion)
Time should never have come inbetween
Our last goodbye and last hello.

You're words fallen off a page
Pages ripped out of a book
books pulled from the shelf
My pages, My books, My shelves

Dear Long-Lost-Tourist,
You seem confused as to how
You seem to wonder why, where
It seems you have no clue

You're blood dripping on the floor
You're the 2 degrees in a high fever
You're the things the world has
but nobody'd miss

You're words cut from my tongue
letters unfamiliar to my eyes
signs weird to the touch
& I guess, I wish, I think

This is me saying goodbye.

I should really let go.



The muscles of my hands are sore from holding yours. The searing pain of you blocking me at every turn must have caused it. The pain your gender generally brings me.


I feel it. I really feel this heart of mine and how it yearns. Even the thickest veins throb with the emotion, with the zeal with which I miss you.

You are running away from me, like a ship running from the tide. This scares you, I scare you. The feeling overwhelms you. I know this and my heart does too. But the strength I use to carry on with you is needed elsewhere. Feet that were once made to take me further, need the energy you take. The energy you leech on.


I miss the times we called or texted. I miss how we could chat or blabber. I miss when you reprimanded me.
I'm sorry for hurting you, but you have to understand. You were hurting me so. Much. Again.

Often my heart recalls the times it's been torn apart by you. It remembers the feel of your nails on the flesh, the force with which you clawed through it. The force you used to tear me and my heart in two. My heart howls when it remembers.
Still I like you and, God knows, you like me. But you will never see me, will you?

You want me to stay surreal, be something that borders on a safe haven and an illusion. You want me to be your tempest. To be the emotion you never portrayed, the yearn for knowledge you never knew. You want me to be your perfect puzzle, your perfect little Disaster in a bottle.


Well, guess what.
Being that hurts when you're not near me.

You consume my time on the phone but it hurts that you will never meet me. It hurts to know you like me but not that much. It hurts me to realize you are that far away and still there for me. It hurts, that you and him have seen me and deemed me unworthy.


It hurts.
And I should really let go.

All your dreams are made of
                Cloudy lemonade
The places you hide in filled with
                Sheet music
All the words you say seem to be
                Soft lullabies

The difference between dreams
                              and reality
Is the line between smiles and smirks
Is the line between crying of joy and grief
The line between laughing at a memory long lost
And crying because of a current joke
The line between Aristotle and Rowling
                Or just the horizon.

All you ever say is that you'll
                                              be allright
But don't you realize that
All your dreams are made of
                                              Cloudy lemonade?

In my imagination,
There's red blossoms in full bloom
a blue sky with no clouds to loom
A waterfall spills pure water in a lake
The only sounds the ones the animals make
A cottage built in a hill that can protect me
Small but big enough to set my mind free



                In my imagination,

Life is pretty good for a girl like me,

                In my imagination,

                In my imagination,
But that is all just
                
                In my imagination.



When I shake the dreams out of my hair
When I wake to the nightmares of day
When I open my eyes to close my heart
My mind is confused
My heart feels refused



But awakening is inevitable now
Dawn is breaking and people are stirring
Soon this heart to reality will have to bow
Quite possibly this mind will stop searing



The winds of change that                                Away these feet
                                                    Wept
Will once more lie down and leave us cold
Leave us in confusion with men
Leave us in confusion with women
Leave us,
            Leave us all alone.