Stupor..a silly,relaxed,not quite myself stupor
Ignore the fact that I shouldn't be here
Acknowledge the only reason I chose to be there
Smoky eyes led me into darkness
And now I am left with nothing but this stupid look in my eye
I laugh at myself for being said victim
I bet you find that to be hilarious
I almost do..but then I think of you
Your games...your mysterious ways
How easily I could have been consumed
without even a hint of recognition
**** this is not what I transcribed myself to be
I am above it...yeah I bet you love that
I can oh so politely put this up your *** and around a hard left corner
I suppose I could go for days but what would be left except what I began with
Which is just a sense of poisonous consumption
I think I just threw up a little in my mouth
Man that would describe most of this
Impulsive vomiting...then putrid lying
I play it back in my head, step by step, word by word...thought by thought...looks
and stay with same dellusional conclusion
It wasn't just me...
I put it down and you may take it in but not on my time
Not on my mind...you will be lol
Might be how one might put it but then again...this **** playback is driving me crazeeee
Fool I say...every second of instinct and purity and intent ...Gone.gone . never to be back
Simple and sure and solid...replaced with distant, false and fooled...not me but you
That's what makes this great..I am fine with only a secret to keep...but you will be drudged thru yourself
And I will be better for it..knowing more about me than anyone else!

Have I made an impression? No,
a real, lasting, stuck in your mind, remember me in 50 years type impression?
Or just a summer breeze that you long to touch your face but can't remember the circumstances that put you there?
I want to be an imprint.
A stamp inside your head, a fully encompassed, laced part of your mental DnA(thanks, Mo)

A silly song that is always on repeat never on random
That is where I want my picture to be inside your cerebral cortex.
Permanent, stained, taunting, undisturbed

I am selfish for this request
I lay awake in the day wishing this were not my wish
But the pain is obvious, the need even greater and the desire unbearable.

Cannot justify ...moreso cannot deny
I ask to be lifted with such intensity that I ask to never come down again
All just by this conversation with you, whomever it is that you may be.

I sink, deeper and deeper into the realm of untruth to the point that it may have become a reality.
I am transparent, so is this, the fluidness of inspiration is so hard to resist

I urge honesty without the brutality
And nakedness without the sexuality
Desire without the vulgarity
Love without the unnecessary

I welcome you
To me
Undone and unscorned
open
sweet
gentle
enlightened!

I do say I'd like to vent


I'd like not to always look at you and feel so spent


I'd wonder what I could become without your hover


I know I'd like to give it at least one try


I could easily roam about and find another


But that is not where this is coming from


It is deeper than then and now and forever


I encourage my soul to thrive thru this


I glanced into the eyes of a lover past


Cried for a moment then all I did was laugh


The tenderness brought back to me was enough to set me free


Not what you lack but what I have gained


I could go on ,on this for days


Disrupted, wanting to offer nothing more than this shoulder


Why won't you take it...take my offered shoulder


You will soon realize what is just a fool


No pity no compliments


Neither one of you will ever get me


One of you will never forget me


The other will never have it in him to let me


Clarity is offered as the God's surround my world


Hug it until it relaxes without hesitation


I can't wait to experience that ecstacy....


Embark all over me