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651 · Nov 2015
Online Dating
William Sexton Nov 2015
If nice guys finish last
Than I would move my feet
I would travel mountains
Just to make us meet
But I am just a face here
Interactions forced through screens
Clunky social sites
Stupide jokes
Fake laughs and meme’s
And you won’t really see me
Unless you let me try
But I feel all alone here
And close enough to cry
Because no one ever sees me
No one seems to care
You might pass me by
Just like empty air
Well it’s all your loss
I’m a great good guy
I may not be perfect
But I sure as **** will try
I’d make you my princess
If you dare to pass me up
You’d be all alone
And that’s just tough luck
Cause I would travel mountain
Just to help you by
I would do it all
Just to be your guy
Kiss you when you’re sick
Kiss me when I’m sad
If we could stick together
Things wouldn’t seem so bad
And we’d take on the world
Whether happy or mad
And knowing
Looking back
That we would both be glad
Cause you didn’t pass me up
You gave me a good chance
You saw me through the screen
And thought
I’ll try this guy
I guess
471 · Jan 2016
Cinders and Bridges
William Sexton Jan 2016
Burning bridges falling down
Hot cinders take flight on night air
Like fireflies
They count among the sky as the stars do
But that’s ok
The stars I hold closest light my way
And warm my days
445 · Jan 2016
Creeping Suspicion
William Sexton Jan 2016
My mind is a mess
Racing, pounding and tearing at its self
Tell me I’m not insane
If my memory serves
I’ll forget in time
Coming to the same conclusion
Yes, functionally insane
But insane none the less
Forcing myself through the same broken cycle
On auto pilot
Expecting different results
Because I have to believe
Things can’t turn out the same
It just isn’t sane to think so
Is it?
Am I a weak soul driven by a strong will?
Or a weak will possessed by a strong soul?
What forces me on myself in this way?
422 · Nov 2015
Dream the Machine
William Sexton Nov 2015
This machine that is my life
Brought to movement through rotations, in sighted turning
and follows the calmer of its striking metal pieces.
Both intricate and delicate are its movements,
Driven forward through sweat, tears, and strain
The gears slow, its shining golden pieces losing momentum
And stop.
A piece that does not belong clogs its design.
It does not fit I say.
But they will not listen
“It is for your own good.”
“The gears will move more quickly once it belongs”
I do not know to trust them
But I do not know enough to believe them
And so the piece that does not belong falls
Through the machine to find its place.
Banging against its parts
Scarring its golden pieces
Stripping them of their potential
And destroying its design
So as I knell down beside this machine
And tell it “things will be better this way”
Its sides give and its form slumps over
Each machine must face the same scrutiny
Perhaps its pieces will become restored
In time
I may know
412 · Nov 2015
Untitled
William Sexton Nov 2015
Has this world always been co cold?
Come; sit by the fire with me
If only for awhile
It burns its brightest for company
William Sexton Jan 2016
I’m having an out of body experience of the worst kind
Watching my body walk pointless shapes in rising tides
Taking turns between wandering and drowning
The pain feels so surreal
Coming and going; ebbing away at me
Never knowing when my head will go under again
And all I can do is watch and wait
I’m helpless to stop this cycle
Decisions I’ve made have tied me here
Remember, relive, regret and repeat
These are the tides in my ocean of misery
And even now, as the water laps gently at my chin
I wonder
What other decision I could have made?
Would I have only delayed my place here?
Can I fix what I have broken?
When I know it will never be the same?
And when my body finally walks away from this sea of misery
Will I still regret?
Will I ever be the same?
Will I be ok?
362 · Nov 2015
Gripping
William Sexton Nov 2015
Blue sky’s above, darkening abyss below
And here I cling in between
Broken earth to which I wean, floating fragments of solid ground
Yet I feel you, all around
Grip closed tight around my neck
Like vicious vultures you once peck
At my will and at my heart
Enough to make me fall apart

But change has drifted, on the wind
My flesh is healing, from your whipping
No longer blooded, let to dripping
Yes I feel your grip is slipping
Cloths to which you cling are ripping
I will shed you off of me
Yes, forever gone, farewell to thee
Sympathy you’ll never see
From me at least, when I am free
You drove me in, the abyss below
But I crawled out and you must go

Just know this, when you are gone
I’ll be scarred but much more strong
345 · Nov 2015
Trust
William Sexton Nov 2015
Hard to find
Hard to earn
Trust
is in short supply
High demand
Eyes cast low
Watch my walk
As I go
Drifting, away
From those who are in debt to me
Not treated
As trust should be
But instead, as commodity
Trust worn thin
As it’s borrowed
Not returned
State brought to sorrow
But Still I wait
Until tomorrow
And drifting slowly
As you still borrow
Wishing you might pay be back
Someday soon
But days grow black
As I wait
Hope growing cold
288 · Nov 2015
Untitled
William Sexton Nov 2015
Uninvited guest wonder
Rudely in my head
As I toss and turn in bed
Gazing out my empty window
I don’t want to feel this way
Sky outside
Is cold and grey
But their footsteps are too loud
Or perhaps
I’ve been too proud
Pain is a beautiful teacher you know
Memories I wish forgotten
The ones most cruel
Are set and rotten
Forcing me to know
I’ve made it through
And forcing me to know
I’ve dropped my peace
It’s hard to be strong here
When they’re footsteps lay me bare
264 · Feb 2017
Pain and fading
William Sexton Feb 2017
I love a ghost
She waxes and wanes like the moon
Sometimes fading into nothingness
Till I am left alone
Wondering if there was ever someone there at all
But she always returns
She haunts me
Following my body, and my thoughts
And even in our closeness I fear the next fading
The void that still sits between us
The chains that bind us are cast between realms
Holding me to a world that is not my own
Twisting my flesh into place
Leaving my mind, spinning behind me
In these moments of insanity
I wonder
Who’s really the ghost?
Her?
Or I?
191 · Feb 2018
My Keystone
William Sexton Feb 2018
Ill be your bridge, If you be my key stone
Were stronger together this way
Holding up the weight of the world
Past the rolling of earthquakes, And withering of time
We could stand through it all
Or so I believed
But I felt you shifting, Slowly creating a gap
Through which you slipped further and further
I tried to keep my grip, I really did
To keep us upright, And solid
But I guess I wasn't strong enough
Not to keep you drifting away
So slow it seemed
Moss and rot settled in the cracks
Whittling away the thing we built together
I'm still unsure just when you freed yourself
This phantom feeling of what was lost lingered too long
So slowly, Our structure began to hollow
Brick and stone falling away
Shape slumping
And groaning for release into the depths below
It was then I became afraid
This broken bridge is mine alone, and I cant bear it
Please come back, I cant hold the weight of this world all alone
Please god, I'm breaking
The abyss below waiting
There's no one left to hear my fall

— The End —