Wild man. Wizard. Summoning the fire witch
Words I heard so often I bought them
And was returned with a song
Locked up inside cold weather trending
As my brother works the lift, trying rightly
To remember where the sound was born
White nights, but where, and why
I loved you already, but we have yet to meet
And deeper kisses will seal the deal
True it is past the truth and the worn out time
To summon the fire witch, to illuminate my mind
For the first wild man
And the wizard
I have inside me

By the side of the road
Rising from green uncut grass
Stone, rough cut
Sorted and ordered
Laying flat
Saying to one and all
This is a line
When you cross it
The rules change
The people that built me
Send you that message

It took time to build
Skill, sweat, and stamina
This was planned
This was needed
Stone walls make a difference
There is the inside
And the outside
But a dozen decades go by
On the inside, worthless trees
And poison vines
On the outside, a pathway for things
Beyond the dreams of the builders

The wall, made from stone from the fields
Still makes the inside
But on the outside
No one remembers the builders
Not their names
Or the length of the labor
Or why someone decided that here
There needed to be a difference
Between the inside
And the outside

They call it automatic
The doors to the market open
For you
Only for you
Not for me, automatic breath shuffles away

Part of my soul remains on watch
Blood does flow
Automatically so
But the engine of the body
Is lacking fuel today

I shouldn’t have to think about this
It should be there
But it’s morning
And yes, the birds sing
And I can’t take a deep breath

Icy fingers cling to mine
And I cannot move them anymore
On the edge of rising beyond
The thoughts and dreams of what I’d had…
My mind goes blank
My arms seem to shorten
I cannot reach the ring

What I need to hear
I cannot say to myself
No, I can’t ask
Icy fingers around my throat
And a little boy remembers
Picked last for a game
Not invited to the party
And the look in the eyes
Of the older people
Disappointment

So **** them, all of them
Eyes willed to focus
My neck will function
My face will rise up
My hands will open
The prize will be mine

My son wants to draw a shark
He chooses yellow and orange
From the box of crayons
I decide not to correct him
Because the world needs more yellow sharks

I used to draw yellow sharks
All jaws, and teeth, with yellow skin
And wide, large eyes
That followed you as you walked
Through my mothers kitchen

I also used to draw street views
Three vehicles, all trucks
One in the middle, one arriving to the right
One, departing to the left
Going somewhere, even I didn’t know

“He always does that. Yellow sharks, hmmm…”
So said my mother to someone who asked
Where was the road going
Off to the left? To yellow sharks?
No. To a table, 5 decades later, where my son sits

Drawing a yellow shark, and the shape of his own face

Last winter, I found
Your dream chewing on a wire
The main power cable that powers the machines
That kept me alive
One spark
One bright spark
Your dream fell dead

You blame me for that death
You blame me for that dying
You dreamed the death of me
Now, you blame me
And your friends call you a hero
And they reward you
For your suffering

And I am the enemy
For the crime
Of choosing to believe
My life
Has value

There are walls of solid shadow
Between you. See through
Into a special place
And remember those days
As they were, not as they are now
Because, you know, the past has changed
Space age plastic is solid wood
Viewed out the window
Of the shadow wall

Depression
Great depressions become values
Over a grey haired shoulder
And the grass is dead
The grass that was left to you
Has died
No one will come to your door
No one will bring light
No twice burned candle
And **** the shadows
And the walls