Your milk it seems now was warm and wet
whispering, wanting me to forget
how you threw me to the ground and held me there with
what was your frailty

I will not bend to your memory yet
so long I have the strength to blood let
my mind of every last ounce of
what was your cruelty

I've moved on I fear
sans shedding a tear for leaving behind
what was your memory

I was built to roar and crash,
warring against your ships safety.
Desperate I unite you with my self,
and imbibe you as sacrament.

gleefully - shining
you dance over and past my tongue

for a brief moment I know you

With life wrenched, you sink
and my body is calm again.

Incendiary, explosive,
those gnashing teeth,
they hold us in their throws beneath
these seven gorgeous waves of angst

They expand but never contract,
leaving us infinitely searching for our center

And when we crash,
And we will crash,
I'll pray to your god you'll never surrender

If you do,
I can't swear I'll wait for you,
I can't promise I'll always remember.

Sometimes I dream of you

you come to me faceless, dressed formally

sitting as a man on the cusp of birth and death

behind that ink black baby grand piano you love so much

its edges well worn

you float through the vast emptiness with no beginning or end

and yet somehow your immense hands strike notes with an

unyielding vehemence and passion, never repeating yourself.

I will know you, if I have to spend all of eternity, I will know you.

that smile
it cuts through me
as a slow saunter through the thickest fog

it doesn't care for my troubles
it doesn't judge who I am

it just sits there
luminous
beneath that mirror in which I see only myself

we are the same
just letting the vestiges of life wash over us
trickling between our bodies, defining our boundaries

I ask if you'll swim out to the depths and drown with me
You happily grab my hand and we run fingertips first into the sea

Ill be your lingering cigar smoke if youll be my quivering nostalgia,
jumping at any chance to reminisce of the days when our steel frame
would test its infallibilities to the sound of our anguish

of course, were versed in this dance of discourse, this

arrhythmic,

energetic,

emotional banter.

We have performed these parts to a silent audience,
and recieved a deafening ovation.

For we own the stage,
commanding our mimed patrons respect and attention.
We astound them with our vigor and voracity as we
dance our unparalleled folly, tangled in the valleys of our eyes.

The dance will outlast our bodies, for the dance is more than we can ever be.

you're my lens refraction, my solar flare
my beautiful occupation with long dark hair
because I've got you under my skin, deep
in my heart, you occupy my ventricles
even as we're apart

your forehead to mine we have been,
sharing an energy more palpable
than reality itself

nothing
nobody
can take that from us

my nothings are ever-changing
as yours are while
we dance in our ever-static time

we knot our folly and our bodies alike
and revel in the ecstacy of
knowing that which cannot be known,
seeing that which cannot be seen

nuzzling at the warm body of God
like kittens we emanate life
in all directions, exhaling
our poisons in harmony

the universe picks us up by our necks
in its loving mouth, and shows us the one real truth.
leaving no detail in exformation,
the mother of us all kisses our foreheads
and we know that all is right and good

then we are white and pure,
the milky sweetness of our souls exuding.
we are changed forevermore,
distilled in form to render
remaining only our true selves

we are to go with the knowledge that
we shall never fade, and ripples of our ripples
will outlast us a million fold

I spend my time in an empty room
the walls echoing my thoughts
as I chase resolution with all of my will.

Enormous moments of clarity come to me
as my vision is erased
and I lose myself in movement.

I could spend eternity in there
lending myself to purification
losing the concept of my self.

You view the world from your prison's lone window
not knowing that your cell is unlocked.
You spend all your days collecting those rays
not caring how often you're mocked.
You waste all your hours counting the flowers
waiting for the clock's final tock.
If only you knew how you're like a shrew
you could easily come out of that box.

It seems to me that even the most artfully
sculpted facsimile of that designed by nature
could never compare to the beauty of the
recognizably finite and fragile.

It would be the most grave of all crimes
to correct the brush strokes of the most
grand artist, that ancient blind
watchmaker whose work is all around us.

Who is the watch to say he isn't designed
as he should be? Those with cogs misplaced
are just as beautiful and unique as those whose
finish shines with the most brilliant luster.

God help those whose hidden tears
flow with no reservation
whose hearts are filled with the pain
of a thousand dying men

If he should kiss their fate
with majestic unseen lips
like an all-enveloping sea of
unadulterated love

They could see all that
their future could hold, and
lift their heads to greet it
with hope and joy in their eyes

Alas there is no unseen
hand to pluck the resonant chords
of our futures. We are to ebb
and flow with the rythms
that we ourselves create.

Tonight I will dream of emptiness,
of that warm black inviting space
where all that was and all that will be coincide

Tonight I will dream of nothing,
of returning to what I once was
and always have been

Tonight I will dream of infinity,
the most pure of all things
which is beyond my comprehension

Tonight I will cease to exist.

Like the vast emptiness of space
I am expanding and contracting
to the thought of seeing you
my expanse littered with uncountable
self governed thoughts

My origin lies within you,
the source of everything that I am

You would do well to see
that without you I cannot exist

Soon I will be infinitesimally small,
a mere quark, beyond the reach of observation
and I will still be yours to have and hold
for as long as you will want me

For then I will be just an idea,
a wisp of the imagination,
your most deeply buried emotion

You would have to devote
the entirety of yourself to keeping me
safe from the fleeting nature of the mind
if you wished to keep me

Will you?

I am the bodhi tree, and
my sight knows no bounds
through my great veins course your poisons
your rage, your fear, your pain
and I have loved them as I have loved you

In my expanse I am all that is,
the universe is held within me
yet I am naught but one

I can hear their emotion
those thoughts near and far
the totality of all things perceived
is in the minute sweet nothings of my self

Soon I shall perish, and leave behind my body
so that all else may live on in my memory
and my memory may live on in all else

At times I long for something
pure something far from myself
like the unadulterated pain of death.

There is something beyond this place
touched upon, felt, while bellowing
from the very depths of your soul.

How I long to be immersed
in that whitest of whites,
in that endless sea.

But what good would it do
what point would it serve
if it doesn't change who I am
if I don't take something away?