Meditations and French Fries

I sit watching you nibble on some Mickey D's fries,
And taking sips of your milkshake,
Your two hands grasping the cup as if to make sure
Nobody could take it while kicking your feet,
That barely touch the floor, and humming.
This makes me love you more than I already do.

Your eyes move up and stare at me and I look at you,
Searchingly, but you cross them,
Making those crazy eyes that make me smile
And then you let your lips curl into a smile matching mine
And show the small fragments of your teeth and you are beautiful.

You are so content with sitting here, with oily salty potato slivers,
With impersonations of milkshakes, and more importantly with me.
I love you, and your tiny teeth, your short legs, your belly.

Everyone says you resemble me, all your ticks, your mood swings
Your ****** expressions, your desire to learn, your sweet tooth.
You are a copy of me, a miniature me, but you are not really me.
You are my brother, my blood but not my copy.
I see the differences between us, the different upbringing, you know what
A childhood means, you know fatherly love, and for this I am thankful,.
I wish you more than me, more knowledge, love, confidence than me.

I wish Mickey D's is better too, and that the economy doesn't go bust
And that you could afford some fries and a milkshake for less than 10 bucks.

A Familiar Wound

The doctors slit your belly
To get to your spine
And cushion the disks
That slipped from you
Like soapy plates
From frail worn hands.

I was ten when you asked me
To wipe the stitched opening
With swabs and gauze
and to make sure that
The staples would not pop
From their place, exposing you.

I bent down next to you,
My knees denting craters
Into the carpet, and cleaned off
The stapled wound running
Perpendicular to the scar
That opened up years before
To place me in your arms and hear you
Whisper my name into being.

The pills slurred your words,
Your tongue undulating lazily
Heavily weighted in your mouth,
Rolling out gracias mijo
And I blushed, realizing
What a small gesture this was
Nursing the same belly
That held me inside years ago.

Nostalgia
To Marjorie, thank you

On nights alone I think of you
And the way you would pull blankets over me,
Fold them back, crease them, and tuck them
Under, and the words you would whisper onto me,
How you would bathe me in your prayers.
You wanted me to know what security felt like.

You could take the moonlight in your hands
And let it hang over me like a brilliant guardian
Watching over, so that I could know what home was
So that I knew that you loved me, reassuring me with lullabies,
Duermete mi niño, duermete mi amor; and I did and I do,
And I wonder how different life would be without you.

On these nights I wonder where you are,
Whether you think of me as this grown man
Or as the lonely toddler scurrying for your embrace,
Laying in bed waiting for my bottle with warm chocolate milk,
For your soft voice, for the final Te amo of the day,
For my response of yo tambien mami, me too, and I did and I do,
And for the moonlight dripping from your fingers
Drifting onto the air, hanging above my closing eyes.

Lover

He said, “I thought you knew me better than that,’
And I responded, “I guess I don’t.”
So he sighed and kissed me on the lips
And let his thumb trace my eyelids to the hollow of my eyes,
Running palm down cheek, and he calmly chopped off his feet
And placed them in from of me.
“Here,” he said, “walk in these for awhile
Then maybe you will really get to know me.”

Love, last night you walked
Into my room and peeled off  your skin
For me, a sigh still clinging to your throat,
Waiting for the forceful
Expulsion of your exhale.

Peel it for me.

You hung your fears on my pleas,
Whispering the words I mouthed to you,
Mouthing them back onto me.
Lights off this is you
At your finest.

I love you, at your most nervous.

Last night you wrote on my skin
With your tongue, the words still cool
On my warm body.
Only the tips of your fingers remain,
Scrawling your name on my back as if you
Could tattoo the permanency of love with touch.

Lazarus

The night blew darkness into me
But you, you whispered my name,
Splintered apart these eyelids
Let the syllables wrap themselves
Around me, carried me back to you.
Awaken you said, and so I did and you
Let the words Come forth drip down
Into my ear drums, and so I did.
I came back to you, uncurled my body
To the sunlight peering itself
From behind you and I knelt,
Knelt for your touch, knelt for your words
To awaken more than just this,
This limp body, give me reason for being,
And so you did, you took this skin
And struck life through it,
Taught me to roll my tongue, to own
Your language, and you pressed
Your forefinger to my forehead and said
I will take you home.