you know more
than just skin
sliced it apart
gotten under
dug close to the bone
so please
get gone

why should i remember
to call you papi
or say te amo
when you can barely
remember my name

whenever he complains
about my cold nature
and says
"baby, please open up"
i bend my knees
in a silent prayer
and take his **** in my mouth

why does it matter
what i put in my mouth
or who i push myself into
as long as neither involves you

it's funny how easily the tongue
forgets itself
loses language
struggles hard to roll around
too belabored
to find meaning in simplicity
too taut
to learn new speech.

I want to memorize
the angle your thighs make
when they spread open for me.

You were ‘mom’ and I was ‘dad’
And my stuffed plush toys
Stood in for our children.
We did what parents did and do
And soon you said it was time for bed.

We laid down and you,
You pulled my face near
And pressed my lips to yours
And held me
So that I could not move.

I stayed put.

You were older after all,
I looked up to you.
But then you took my fingers
Into your mouth
And down your Tinkerbell *******
To lead me inside yourself.

I pulled back, I think,
But you threatened to tell,
To get me in trouble for something,
It’s hazy, I can’t remember now.

So you kept my fingers
Trapped in you,
No matter the complaints
Or the moist cheeks.
You made them travel and discover
More than I ever wanted them to.