i abhor my existence
yet i was swayed to adhere complacence
throw me onto the pathway
fade the blinds; for i have faltered.
I'm merely a drazel in distress
it would be ideal to slaughter all the rest.

my mind is at the altar
sacrifice, if i suffice. hang it high
and make a profit from your feigning saint.

love, i was told, i was told you must love me.
but contrary to that rule, you have forsaken my body
left, i left, i left years ago
so badly, i do wish, i could come back home
but a home is one thing you'll never let me have
I'm without a home; without a Dad.

i sat down in a place where my blankets met
it seemed like they wanted so disparately to for me to sit
i fell off of a kitchen stool
it laughed at me and said so cruelly
"you, you are not to be fed
you're head is so fat it just might **** you
my reply was "i'd rather be dead
no forced replies, no love, no virtue"

i crawled around 'til my feet let me stand
they were in a deep sleep, then they woke up and said
"your head is closer than your mind, child.
two feet off the ground, you're a beguiled child!
you'll be a king someday! carry us around
we'll be ALIVE, they say.
who cares if we push you down?
we'll be ALIVE, someday."

then, they gave out underneath
i was back to crawl upon my knees.
i tried to jump then changed my plea
i lied alone, no one accompanying me.
they decided to laughed and said so cruelly
"you, you were not made to fly
stay where you belong or it just might **** you"
my reply: "i'm not afraid to die
i've got no faith, few friends, and a body of vice"

Am i a part of a structure?
a piece too thin to be seen?
am i too absorbed...
to hear the voices surrounding me?
the one's mightier than i,
like the martyrs or the saints;
the loved and the brave,
they accepted me in their piece.

but why am i in the mist?
i, a ship that has sank;
an experiment gone rank;
a pebble on mont blanc;
i must be there
to complete the picture they've made.


and perhaps i'm part of mona lisa's smile.

What if there's a fire...
And only two men left
Would it be me that he chose,
Or me he'd second guess
Am i worth a second chance,
Or not even worth a stone
Could i afford a single breath,
Or would that leave me all alone

May i ponder his own being?
His smile, his laugh, his touch.
Or is it still in the making?
A mold no one should touch.
I could offer my hand,
But he said my voice would be enough.
Am i the love of your life,
Or a girl you couldn't get rid of

If i saught out to fight,
With all my might,
Build up steam,
Would the wind ******* over
Because all i could gather
Was equivilant to a leaf?

If i called the call close,
Took some notes,
Changed my plea,
Would it be worth a try,
To find a guy,
Who was no
Different from me?

Could i forget my venialia?
Take a trip through the stars.
With i person i felt worthful.
Had he chose me,
This world would be ours.

May i continue my search,
My nubivagant adventure?
Unaware of what is around me.
Looking for hope in the middle.
Of everything we all knew
Everything that could be.

I took my trip through the stars...
And came out
Empty