It took so much not to crash the car tonight
But that music was so loud
And I was so ******* empty
And I just kept going faster and faster
I look down, it's 70, 75, when it's supposed to be 35
But god I just couldn't ******* see
And I couldn't breathe
And you weren't there
And you weren't ever going to be there
And god I should have crashed the car

My head was by his knees for an hour yesterday

And with my eyes closed and mouth open I felt him slip his hands in between my fingers

Is that what you meant when you asked if he touched me

I like you too much
Probably because you're utterly unavailable

I'm turning out to be my mother in every way

But not this time

I'm sorry
I don't know how I'm leaving but I'll figure it out
I'll replace your lips with someone else
I'll replace your voice with a powdered nose

I might love you
But I'm not sure

It's really selfish to ask
But don't forget me
While I'm trying to forget you

I was just watching my covers of songs I sang about you
(This goodbye thing is really working out)
And even in that song I wrote about you I was so careful to imply that I didn't know how you felt about me

I've never been secure in this

Except maybe when you told me about your father
It was so powerful I can't imagine you share that with everyone

We literally kissed until our lips bled

But you will not take my dress off

So maybe that last poem I wrote about you
Was a little much

Hearing you read your song allowed for me
At two in the morning
Made me feel stupid
But Jesus Christ the sound of your voice when you did
Made me think my whole life was leading up that moment

That scares me

When you meet a person who can make you fall in love with moonlight
Or the tread of their step
And not even know it
You have a few options

1. Crash into them with no plan of resolution and pray it won't end in war

2. Cut them from the roots and let them blossom far away, before it's too late and they're in your skin (but oh god, is it too late already)

3. Disappear

You said you loved me
More than the sun and the stars
But how much can you really love a
Burning light

I didn't care anyway

I'm nothing like stars

Feeling "depressed"
That words all that's left

I can feel the ants all over me again
And I hate it when you tell me
You love me
And I love it when you tell me
You love me

You don't know anything

But if you continue to say things like that you will

And then you can go away

And I can evaporate like the water you didn't know I hated