Dear Locked Box,
This is my goodbye to you
I need you to know that everything I'm about to say hurts much more than anything I said about No one

And I am not comparing you to him
Because there is no comparison
He pales in the light what you have made me feel

This will be the last time I talk of you sweetly
(Though I will never talk I'll of you)

I sent your goodbye letter seven minutes ago, and it could be days before you bother to read it
(But I know eventually you will)

I don't know what love is or if it can exists among people
I know the love of a bottle
And I know the love of bones
And I'm recently learning or that same love applied to another person
(But if that love counts is still un clear)

But I didn't love you like that
If love is real then I loved you hard
I loved you like the towering waves I was afraid of
I also loved you deep like that roots you (un)knowingly planted in me

I have never known anything like you
You were more a force of nature to me than a teenage boy in a band

The way you sat
The way you touched me
The way you were insecure
Yet so sure at the same time

Remember when you wanted to kiss me but didn't know if you could because you didn't know if I hated you

Well you probably had no idea that, that whole night you looked like something unreachable
Not something looking for approval
But approval itself

And god knows my love for what you were (are) is not unique in its nature

So many befor me have fallen under your knees
And begged
So many humiliated
So many degrades and turned into nothing

Of course none of it intentional, you have such a good heart, you don't mean to be so desirable
But darling it's deadly

Though my existence was probably nothing short of a quick **** and an ego boost (and maybe a feeling of something more here and there) I hope I impacted you in some way

Maybe when you listen to your favorite song it will remind you of me

You really are a locked box of something great
And you're trying to find a key to open yourself up
And I'm glad I got to try
But I just don't fit
And that hurts
But that's ok
Because locked box you will find a key
And oh god the thought of you truly content
Is enough to make giving up on you ok

Please don't think you want nothing
Surely you don't but that thought scared me

Though I touched him today and he left his mark on me

I don't know if I could ever feel the things I felt for you again

And that's ok

When you're daughter grows up don't let her be like me

I love you

Goodbye

.

I like you too much
Probably because you're utterly unavailable

I'm turning out to be my mother in every way

But not this time

I'm sorry
I don't know how I'm leaving but I'll figure it out
I'll replace your lips with someone else
I'll replace your voice with a powdered nose

I might love you
But I'm not sure

It's really selfish to ask
But don't forget me
While I'm trying to forget you

I'm an idiot
But so is everyone else
Except for the ******* because they've got it figured out

People could refer to it as romantic masochism
But they're pretentious and wrong
Because there so no masochism in the nature of what I'm doing
And what I have done

There is no masochism in begging to be near them
There is no masochism in being held
There is no masochism in your happiness as they tell you things that they probably mean
There is no masochism in your inflated ego
There is no masochism in your infatuation

There is no masochism as you claw to get away from the distance
There is no masochism in waiting for them to make you feel good again

It's not quite selfish either
Because while their kissing your neck and singing to you
You find yourself drawn to their content
And drawn to their ease

But all affection
All "love"
Ends in war
And they are not the exception
And you are not the exception
If you stay you will die
In one form or another

So the ******* have figured it out

Never love them passed act 1

Leave at intermission

So maybe that last poem I wrote about you
Was a little much

Hearing you read your song allowed for me
At two in the morning
Made me feel stupid
But Jesus Christ the sound of your voice when you did
Made me think my whole life was leading up that moment

That scares me

When you meet a person who can make you fall in love with moonlight
Or the tread of their step
And not even know it
You have a few options

1. Crash into them with no plan of resolution and pray it won't end in war

2. Cut them from the roots and let them blossom far away, before it's too late and they're in your skin (but oh god, is it too late already)

3. Disappear

Soldiers that day reached shore and were greeted by a wall of fire

Enemy snipers could fire twenty bullets per second

In four seconds a boat full of coward little kids could disappear

Teach me how to disappear

I looked up that song right after you left that night and was disappointed

His voice is just too loud

But I find myself coming back to it anyway

Because oh god

I find myself coming back to the sound of you

And the feelings of water in my eyes that I tried so desperately to conceal

And I don't know what we're doing

Where I'm going

And when you will disappear from me like those little boys

But I've been praying you will let me collapse into you

Please bare me

Let me bane your existence

Because

My god

You're becoming mine

Mother told me love doesn't exist and I believe her
We are all brilliant beggars

So I'm begging you

Touch me

Beg me