our constant arguments about who cares about who more play like an old song in the back of my mind, sad, but my favourite nonetheless

I cant possibly fathom how you could spend so much time trying to convince me you care about me just to leave like nothing was said at all

maybe i answered my own question, maybe you convinced me but you never actually showed it

maybe i played it too cool, acted so uninterested that you thought I was

looking back at what we were is like watching a bridge fall to flames, and
then watching it rebuild itself only to combust again, over and over and over

our history seems so tragic and beautiful to me but its probably just another failed teen relationship from the outside looking in

the most powerful thing ive ever had the pleasure to experience

poetry of the senses, a bright stain on the vision

and so much of it is chance

I taught myself how to write but you taught me how to love you

you showed me a blue sky when chemistry made me feel worthless and I thought “there has to be something easier than this”

I am not a scientist and you are not an answer but maybe we can just both pretend for the night

(to be continued)

had to delete this in humiliation but the title remains