sometimes it hurts
most of the time i forget it
but once my dad mentioned it to me this afternoon
i felt tears brim my eyes
my vision turned blurry
and i had to stop and breathe
slowly
but quietly
because i wasn't ready
to breakdown
in front of my dad

yet i was so ready to just cry
to let it all out
because i can only take so much
before i crack and shatter
and breakdown

i was wondering when you'd come
your small ****** eyes
your lean body
and your adorable smile

i thought of you day and night
and when i thought i saw a future for the both of us
i suddenly remember that we were
two worlds
apart

that you lived in a far away land
and for me to be your rapunzel
with my long black hair
seems impossible

are we confined to seeing each other during your lessons
at my uncle's?
i thought at first we may have something
a spark
a moment
a memory
a chapter
but i don't want to ruin something
because of young foolishness

maybe when we're older
and if we're meant to be
you and i
can meet together
smile
and travel
just be free

I have always been jealous
Of the way you carried yourself
How you were able to get
The things I've always wanted
**** my parents couldn't afford.
I was always afraid of your might
And your scary words that your sharp tongue could conjure
I hated the way I idolized and copied
Everything about you
I was afraid you might figure it out
But I think you took it in a good way
And we became best friends
Still I feel so ever insecure whenever we go out
Your height and looks always overshadow mine
I feel like trash sitting next to your
Mulberry bag
When you speak and judge clothes,
I have to imitate you just so we could get along
I don't know what I call this
But I treat you as a best friend
But these feelings will never fade because they were the ones
That blossomed from the very beginning
I hate that.
I wish I didn't fool you
But to some point I hate you
Because you're everything I'd want to be
But can't achieve.

Whenever I see
A gymnast on the screen
It gives me this horrible feeling
That she is out there
And I'm here

Instead of giving me a drive
To go and do my best
I feel like giving up
Because what if I can't do it?

Don't give up, I say
I pray that today
I won't give up
and for the rest of the days to come
Don't let yourself give up
I remind myself
Don't give up