"Think positive" they say
"Stop stressing, cheer up"
"Think about something else"
"Maybe try talking to someone"

I don't think people really understand what depression and anxiety is like
It's hard to explain, but let me tell you a little something about it..

I hate myself
I can't look at myself in the mirror
I don't like taking pictures of myself, because they'll never be good enough
No compliment will ever make me change my mind

I can't breathe sometimes
My heart races and feels like it's going to beat out of my chest
Sometimes I can't sleep and the nightmares are real
I can't even get out of the bed sometimes

I cry in the shower, in the car, in bed, everywhere
Sometimes I stare blankly when no tears come out
My mind always wanders to awful places
I try to keep busy, but sometimes it's no good

I hate going out because I hate being around people
I feel like everyone judges me
I care about everyone else's opinion too much
I don't like to bother anyone

I stress over everything
No matter how much people tell me they love me, it's hard to believe it
It's hard to look at the positive
I feel like I'm drowning

Never feeling good enough
Always feeling lost
Wishing to take the pain away
Wanting to be alone

Please tell me that you honestly believe that depression isn't a serious mental illness

she looks in the mirror
she is so depressed at what she sees
stretch marks everywhere, even though she's never given birth to a child
rolls of stomach fat, which no matter how much she sinks in, won't go away
her thighs touch, there is no gap in between
her face looks swollen, the baby fat came back
her arms are huge, and no not in the strong kind of way
she hates herself

thick girls want to be skinny
skinny girls want to be thick
all girls have something that they hate about themselves
but weren't we all created to be different?
aren't we all beautiful?
can we make it to where body positivity is truly a thing?
who in their right mind made it to where girls have to feel this way about themselves?
because all sizes are beautiful, who gives a **** what they say

isn’t it crazy
we read on the internet that someone has died
it gets shared and it’s all you hear about for a day or two
it’s so sad to even go on the internet when that’s all you see
but then the next day
everyone moves on
and it’s like
that topic of the day is over with
onto the next

pain is how it started
he just wanted to take away the pain
once he started it
he couldn't stop
it took away his pain

but then it lead to being completely lost
trying to stop, but the sickness took over
shivers and fevers
vomiting and aches
nothing in the world feels worse

more pain is what it caused him
he's back to trying to take it all away
he has lost everything
he is completely lost
and all because he just wanted the pain to go away

I had a dream after I lost you
And this dream was so real

Were you trying to talk to me?
Were you trying to help me?

When I lost you, I was empty
I have never felt a sadness like this before

My depression became worse
I felt like I couldn't breathe

When you came to me in that dream that one night
I remember it all

We were walking down a meadow
I saw you standing on the other side

I walked towards you
I called your name

We were both dressed in very nice clothes
You grabbed my hand

"Where are we going" I asked you
"To mamaw's funeral" you said

As we started walking to head there
I looked over at you and you were smiling

And then you started to fade away
And you told me

"Don't worry everything is going to be okay"

Why am I surprised?
You disappoint me yet again.

When will I ever be enough for you?
When will you ever actually care?

Will you ever realize that I love you?
Or will I constantly stay disappointed?

Isn't it crazy to think about death?
Death is inevitable.
It's a scary thought.

It's scary to know that one day we won't be here.
It's scary to know that we are going to lose our loved ones.
It's scary to know what actually happens to us after death.

The crazy thing is, one day there will be nobody left on Earth.
Life is short.
Why do we try so hard to be remembered?