if i can shrink a single person to microscopic size and allow access to the deep recesses of my brain it would be you, yes I could talk and think all day long and only you would be the one to hear, but there are still parts of my brain that I wont let you in, the part where it has these fantasies of stroking your short fingers which you're so insecure about, the part of my brain with the fantasy of me telling you your fingers are beautiful and brush off any kind of protest from your part because I am thoroughly convinced that you are beautiful; you are beautiful and I don't mean I have been convinced I mean I believe, I believe in the single truth that you are beautiful and lovable and all things good, despite your demons and the things that make your life a hell sometimes, and most of the time in those days I just want to be a guardian angel and bring you back to earth. I wouldn't let you in the part of my brain where the angry thoughts lie because yes I have been frustrated at you sometimes but not you; I am angry at the things and people and places that make you forget that you are human, that you are worthy and loved; I am angry at the voices that tell you sometimes that you are a ******* because hearing those words from you was the most painful thing and I am angry, angry at them and you and myself, and id rather not have you see my anger; but I know you wouldn't want that because you want to be inside my head as much as I want to be in yours I hope I hope this is not a delusion. I don't want you to see the part of my brain where we lie in your squeaky bed and you climb up to me with your breath hot in my face; I don't want you in those parts of my brain because they shouldn't exist, but who am I to judge something's existence when it is already present in the first place, and I am quite **** sure that someday I will crack and let you in all those parts of my head anyway, and I will be helplessly looking at you get in those cracks and freeze and slowly back away with the saddest "i'm sorry" smile of all