if,

one-day

you ever read this.

I hope you maybe, just maybe

understand

why I am incapable

of ever leaving you alone.*

...

I spent that hole year, trying to make you like me.
I was an absolute idiot, yes I'll admit it.
Then I was scared that the year would end, as of course it would
inevitably.


So when the end did come,
as of course it would.
I wept and crept
away from the sun.
Into my dark mind away from everyone.

Then I could not extinguish that flame,
that you'd so annoyingly implanted,
in my heart,
in my mind and brain.

So I kept on getting singed,
moth to a candle,
flame that you are,
and I cringed...

But again I tried, to see you,
though it was always cut short
and I never knew if you loved me or not
But I will probably always continue to try to

There, on my pillow, a tear.

It isn't mine, I wasn't here.

I was asleep in something like a dream,

of how your smile used to gleam.

And it, being like a dream, like a happy one,

It could never have caused me to cry, or run

So here I am, looking at the tear,

wondering how it got here,

not letting myself even conceive

the idea that my dream was make-believe.

I found you in my dreams again-
Wonderful as ever.

I saw you in my dreams again-
Beautiful as ever.

I smiled at you in my dreams again-
Straight-toothed as ever.

I hugged you in my dreams again-
Nose as freckled as ever.

I loved you in my dreams
and again-
I realised that my love for you, was the only thing that
my dreams had got
true.

Take this sharp knife out of my heart please
Stop the pain.

Take my bleeding heart and throw it into a waterfall so it sprinkles into rain drops and leaves me free
Then leave me be.

I can't bear being away from you-
I can't bear being near to you-

What if I don't say it right?
What if I don't say it?

What if you HATE me?

Oh heck!
Come here and save me from you!