(I) still feel you in all of our favorite songs,
and I (still) reread the poems we shared,
and maybe I'm just a sucker for the pain,
but I don't want this aching to go away
because this pain is better
than the alternative of forgetting our (love).

I'm still holding onto (you) with the hand
(I never) used to push you away.
This can't be the end of our story -
you (gave) me too much to say.

Until I can know what happens next,
I'll keep going through made (up)
scenarios in my head (on) if
(you) could ever love me again.

Please let this be the white space
on the last page
before the next chapter.

*-w.b.h. // second day

I am left with the only way
I ever knew how to truly say
“I love you” - a poem to you.
but this isn’t like the weightless love
interwoven in my words before;
my chest is heavy and
my ribs are creaking
as this leaden heart
sinks me deeper towards drowning.
We could not save each other,
so now we will ascend to the surface
by our individual strength.
I still want desperately to share
my first gasps of breath with you.

and I hope when you look
across the water
you see me still, if you care to look,
and you know that I was never gone –
that I’ll never leave.

*-w.b.h. // first thoughts in the morning

I have found little things to hate
about each square inch of my body.
if you were to tear me apart,
and keep only the good parts,
all that would be left is
the piece of heart
that I gave to you.

*–w.b.h.

every night
I repeat these words
and selfishly hope
that maybe tonight
you will dream of me,
and not him.

*–wbh // sweet dreams, beautiful (pt. 2)

every night
I repeat these words
and hope against hope
that you might
know a night
in which fear
is not the first emotion
you feel
upon waking.

*–wbh // sweet dreams, beautiful (pt. 1)

4:39am
I dream of you almost every night

6:05am
i desire, above all else, to be at your side.

5:40am:
I love her and I never want to love another.

4:39am
don't carry this pain alone

6:59am
please don't tire of me

4:27am
she had it worse than I ever did.

4:29am
how dare I complain about my past?

5:08am
sleep will not change this kind of tired

4:39am
I will stand in the middle of your storms and scream "I love you" until it drowns out the thunder.

4:19am
Every day I'll choose you, and I hope you choose me too.

3:29am
it will be okay in time