With measured grace
the dusk burns through blue atmosphere
to cool as lucent ash

Before you'd tell me I was smart,
And I started to believe.
But then I had a thought,
And you left me without ease.
You said that it was dumb,
To think such a thought.
But the thoughts that I was thinking,
Were tearing me apart.
Does that still make them stupid?
Does that still make them dumb?
The thoughts that I am thinking,
Are the ones that make me numb.
The thoughts that fill my mind,
They haunt me in the night.
I cannot get to sleep,
Without my brain trying to fight.
And now you've just added,
Another thought to my head.
With all these thoughts going on,
I'd much rather be dead.

Several arrows aimed at my heart

I let them pass right through me.

Wounds heal, but only one remains.

It kills me gently; keeps me up all night.

I think of all the things I can do just to make it leave,

But it’s here to stay.

I even tried embracing the pain,

Maybe then, it won’t hurt as much,

But in vain

It’s here to stay.

It hits me, once I see happiness,

Reminds me that I shouldn’t be.

Hovers all over me, once I know joy.

Tells me not to feel,

Asks me to stay cold,

For only happiness brings pain

And I have no more place for wounds.

I have nothing left to give.

“Love makes you grow weaker”, it says.

I must not feel or think,

For if I do, it will be there to stop me.

These wounds will start surfacing,

And I will be nothing but a shell of who I used to be.

My heart tells me not to despair,

But my mind tells me to shut if off.

Love, what have you done to me?

Love, why can’t you let me be?

Love, I have loved you,

Why didn’t you love me?

Love, you picked me up,

Why did you drown me?

Love, I’m through with thee,

For only you brought me to the ground.

Only you made me someone else other than me.

Only you caused these wounds.

Burn with rage, my love,

For you cannot reach me.

Burn with rage, my love,

For I won’t let you catch me.