It seems like an eternity since we last spoke a real word
something that didn't hurt and wasn't absurd.
I can't remember that  real ******* feeling
I can hardly tell because of blind love, the walls from the ceiling.
Give me some clues, a valid trail to follow
not these bitter words that I am forced to swallow.
You are in or you're out, my cracked heart needs to know
it would not be easy but I can pack and go.
Disaster strikes at the strangest times and  will always pick
an unexpected moment like a red clay brick.
Hurt me or **** me, bury me deep or come home
There is no point in this two hearts on the roam.
All good things come to a vicious end
just like a strong old willow tree will finally bend.

WHC
Copyright Jan.6/2014

So musical notes fall upon my heart like raindrops
I can only breath again when the music finally stops.
It moves my very being like a sunset on a summer night
but yet it leaves me frozen at a sudden dreamlike sight.
I feel each note as it patters gently on my heart
 I hardly notice when it stops and when it will start.
It rips a scar across my weary soul but heals as it goes,
 the energy I gather from the notes is easy to show.
  I can climb a frightening mountain in the rain,
  as long as I have the warming music to ease my pain.
  We should all have notes that fall unto us in time
   like words that always fall into sweet and dazzling rhyme.
      
      WHC/2013
      copyright

I wait as patient as a man of age can be
I do not know just what I expect to see
I sleep the sleep of a painful aging soul
knowing it is far too late to be whole.
The world I know is trembling badly
I hold on tightly with my heart beating madly.
I would dance to one more lonely song
but being old all my steps would be wrong.
Maybe I will be luckier the next time
or maybe be a beggar clutching his last dime.
Tomorrow just remains unknown and blank
but the smell of impending death is rank.
Will I be the lucky one and skate on thin ice
or will I be the one that pays for all his vice
That is what tomorrow holds for me
so I will simply have to wait and see.

The day seemed as it always does, turned suddenly to night,
my peaceful sunny moments turned to darkened fright.
Like so many things, the change just isn't always good,
we didn't do the many things that we thought we could.
Tomorrow I will be better, I will give it a better shot,
getting through the next day without the fear of getting caught.
Black nights turn to sunrise, or sometimes to dismal gray
it's never ever knowing that gets us through the coming day.
We just don't know who we will touch or what words we will use
we don't know if there's an offer there that we just can't refuse.
Not much is really predictable or left for us to share
just finding a loving soul mate and someone who shows they care.
If luck is on our tortured side on that moment that it shows
then happiness full of waters cool like a rolling river flows.

Copyright
WHC/2013

She walked towards me , slowly yet steady, eyes fixed on mine.
I gazed back, lost and wondering just what I would find.
Our story was sordid but love often is and then dies
it was made up of torture so painful, full of lies.
Of course I love her and I want to hang on
I wonder is what we had ...that war, finally gone.
I hear thunder in the distance as lightning heats the sky
I wonder if losing her would be worse than if I die.
I wait until she approaches me, hands held out in ...please
I can't help but think she still knows how to tease.
It's been a trembling moment, one so filled with doubt
I finally turn and walk away, I need to go without.

WHC/2013

Does a tear fall on every letter you write, or maybe not,
do you think about what you used to have or what you've got?
Do you wake up in the morning still hurting from the night,
does the memory of the moment  still cause a vicious fright?
Maybe then you know the price you have to pay for flying high
sometimes we will survive, sometime we may die.
Crawl into a darkened hole and cover your ****** ears
but then you won't have any hands to wipe away your tears.
It's a sad life to live this party game, always in pain
grabbing and stabbing, reaching for whatever you may gain.
There is a shelf life to all you do and even all you dream
it will all come to a nasty end  worse than you ever could seem.
Try to fly and get above all the damp clouds and the sun
you lost her in all the reverie and she was the only one.
Its over, love played out and bled until it died a sad death,
now you  live for what is still to do with a quiet breath.

WHC
Oct/2013

I sit late at night and listen to both new and old songs that move my mood and my soul. They never heal it , just move it. I take heed of lyrics and tap along to melodies, I feel the beat and know that when it's over I will be the same. The same sad man with a burden and fears, with anxiety and sadness. I will carry the heavy load of regret. Mistakes made, bad decisions, angry moments and perhaps the happiness that partying allows.
I will never recover....no one does. The emptiness and sorrow are lifelong companions. They will be with us when we wake and when we battle to sleep.
Do you want an answer ? There isn't one ...it's called life.
We either live it and survive or we give in and jump or swallow or shoot.
Bad options based on history, but they sometimes fly through the open door of our minds. The key is to close that door and seal it tight.
Any kind of life is better than death. Courage is available ...we just have to buy it with work, pain and patience. Hang in there, that is what we do.
WHC
2013