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Overwhelmed Mar 2011
The day is young at 3 PM
The sun is high
The air is warm
And the hum of the engine driving down the highway is music amongst
The whipping wind of the open window

Strange birds sit lazily on the edge of ocean ponds
Old men in polo shirts hit tiny spheres down beautiful gardens

So many people with money but no minds

I need eyes without pupils
The function without the humanity
Overwhelmed Jul 2012
you can
turn your back
on poetry
but
she will never
turn her back
on you

you cannot hurt her,
she is long beyond
that

no matter how long
you wait

she will welcome you back,
hugging you against her breast,
reminding you there is still
goodness in this world

so stray,
if you must,
go beat the bushes,
try to find a new way to
settle your restless
spirit

but you will not
and you will return
and that first poem
will be as sweet as grape juice
and as intoxicating as wine
and you will wonder how
the two of you ever
found yourself apart
Overwhelmed Dec 2010
sipping a Gatorade
(I’d prefer diet coke)
I wait for the call
to board the
plane

my sister and dad
people watch
behind me

my mom reads
to my left

my great-grandma
and her friend talk
quietly

I sit here
sipping my drink
and writing

this is the sort of place
that every soul eventually
drifts through

hubs of the human universe
quiet despite all the voices

this is the beginning of an adventure

go to a foreign land
form one great terminal
to
another

many would be jealous
but really I’m just
sitting here
sipping
Gatorade
and
writing
Overwhelmed Apr 2015
as it turned out,
I was at the edge because
I thought there was no one
who could talk me down

I hope I remember that
next time
Overwhelmed Sep 2013
Thomas told me
at the end of our conversation
about the improv club,
about how serious we should be
with following the classic training,
about whether we should try to do it right
or just do it the way we feel,
that I should just try
to have some fun
and then suddenly
I realized we weren’t talking
about the club
any longer.
Overwhelmed Oct 2010
why does it feel weird to say:
zune,
computer,
video game,
in my poems?

they’re normal
for my age
for my time
and yet
I feel like I’m corrupting
a poem when I throw
those wicked words
in

I can mention
the tv,
the phone,
the car,
but not
the plasma tv
the cell phone
the hover car

this feeling of betrayal
to something that has
no feelings
is messing with me
and yet
I don’t fight it

so for now,
sub-woofer,
iPad,
E-reader
you’re not going to appear
on my page
but probably one day
you will
and they’ll be some other thing
that I feel
defiles
my poetry
Overwhelmed May 2011
She wore a knee-length skirt. I like them a tad shorter but for some reason this didn’t bug me. Her smile was bright and cheery. Her hair looked soft and came down to the top of her back. She was beautiful and her teeth were white and seemed to pop out of her mouth. I liked her a lot.
We decided we wanted Italian. I told her about Acario’s, a good-quality place up the street, and she said that it sounded fantastic. I opened the door for her and we drove away in my car. It wasn’t the nicest one on the market but it went fast. When we got out on the highway I pushed the accelerator to the floor and weaved between traffic. Some girls get nervous when I do this but she seemed to enjoy it. She looked over at me and grinned with those bright teeth. I don’t remember much except those teeth until we got there. I opened the door for her again and held the small of her back as we walked to the door.
There was some native Italians singing in the corner as we sat down. There was very electric light, only candles and occasional flicker as the kitchen doors swung open and shut. The waiter seemed a natural at his job. Sharp clothes, slicked back hair, good smile that didn’t seem full of contempt. He greeted us in Italian but quickly reverted back to a more common tongue when we began asking about their specials. She ordered Rigatoni a la pesto. I ordered Linguine a la Bolognese. We shared a semi-expensive Merlot that the waiter recommended. It was all very good but neither of us ate much. All I could focus on were her teeth. Their movement up and down when she talked. How badly it felt to see them go when she plucked a single piece of pasta into her mouth. We stayed for two hours. I paid the bill and left a generous tip. The waiter seemed grateful but I suspect he gathered this was our first date.
I did not want the evening to end so I asked her if she wanted to go someplace else. She suggested a park about a fifteen-to-twenty minute drive away. We both got into the car and I sped down the highway, looking over when I could to see the white gems she kept tucked behind her lips flare open as I revved the engine.
When we arrived she took my hand and led me to a lake a small ways away. We walked around the lake for a while until we found a bench. It was old and wooden. It had seen many people’s ***** and absorbed the sounds of children calling to their mothers, old women throwing seeds to the birds, and even the sounds of young lovers hungrily snarled in each other’s faces. She sat down quickly and smiled, looking at the quiet waters first and then into my eyes. Her eyes seemed full of life but I could not help to be drawn slightly lower, to the confines of her red rim.
I leaned in for a kiss but she didn’t lean back at first. I opened my eyes and saw her grinning, her teeth seeming to say, “you don’t think I’m that easy do you?”
“No”, I said in my mind, “no you’re not that easy. You know I want you. You know why I like you. Why I desire you. Fine. I’ll earn it. I’ll make you want it. Just come here. Come here once and I’ll win you over.”
I leaned in all the way and got my lips on hers. She didn’t kiss back. She wanted to see me try. She wanted me to impress her. I did everything I could. I moved my lips up and down. I ran my tongue on hers. I touched her teeth for the first time. It lit a fire in me. I fought harder than I ever had. I tried things I didn’t know could be tried. It felt like hours and I think it might’ve been hours but that one kiss was what did it.
When we separated she was still smirking. It was different this time though. She was satisfied, not disappointed. Approving, not taunting. She agreed. She was going to give me a shot.
We finished out the evening. I dropped her off at her house around 4 in the morning. We barely talked the rest of the night. We didn’t hold-hands. We didn’t kiss. I don’t even remember what we did for all that time, but it was wonderful. It was enough for me just to know those white, gleaming, wonderful teeth were mine.
That date led to another, the one after that to another one, that one to a fourth and so on and so forth. Weeks turned to months. Months to years. It was years and years and years it seemed to me. I couldn’t remember the days of the week, the hour, the month, the year. It was all about the next time I got to see those teeth. Until, one day, in the blink of an eye, it was the last time I got to see them again. The last time, the very time they warped to fangs and breathed fire like a dragon upon a now useless play-thing.
A short story, written in the style of Hemmingway (I do not assert I am any good at this).
Overwhelmed Dec 2011
oldest distillery in
the country

still using the
original method
of cooking,
fermenting,
distilling,
and
aging
in
new oak
barrels

the nectar of the hicks
of the world
brewed
in such a beautiful
and natural place

future and past
fused together

quietly keeping the
whole world
wasted
Overwhelmed Jul 2012
she was afraid

so afraid

because everything is
about fear

hate is about fear
love is about fear
jealousy is about fear
fear is about fear

in the days of animals
we were the most fearful
and thus the most
successful

it is one of the many
ironies the universe sticks
in for ***** and giggles

she was afraid because
she saw me slipping

she saw the image
she had a-fixed to me
coming apart at the
seems

so she was afraid,
she was terrified,
that she was losing
me

and she was right
Overwhelmed Oct 2010
nobody knows me like you know me
that’s a lie
nobody can know me like you know me
that’s a lie
nobody can ever be what you are to me
that’s a lie
nobody is out there for me
that’s a lie
nobody can  be you
true but,
that’s a lie
Overwhelmed Feb 2011
I have a grapefruit
sized welt on my
right shoulder-blade,
my muscles crack
when I move them,
and my beard is
coming in thicker
than it ever has
before

I clocked a random
guy in the hall and
I completely meant
it,

it just wasn’t meant
for him

poor guy

guess this is what it
means to be a man

scars on the body,
violence in the heart

tears, love,
and vice
not allowed
on the
outside

I reject my right
to all this
Overwhelmed May 2012
back to square one.
back to nothing.
back to no friends
and no one who cares.
back to having no one
to please.
back to having no purpose.
back to being pointless.
back to self-hatred and
anger at the world.
back to quiet music.
back to silence.
back to wanting but
never getting.
back to living alone
with my thoughts for
eternity.
back to the worst sort
of life.
back to all this.

back to the way things
must be, I suppose.
Overwhelmed Jun 2010
A little boy
walks up his mother and
says
“Mother,
I am
scared”

The mother will lean down
ever so gently
and say in the most
uninterested way
“There is
nothing
to be afraid
of”

The little boy
will listen
and take
that into his mind
but when the storm
comes
rocking his house
and tearing it to
small pieces
he will still be
afraid
but he will over come
it and survive
to see his house
in one piece

A young soldier
walks up to his captain and
says
“Captain,
I am
scared”

The Captain will look at him
with hard eyes
and say in the most
uninterested way
“There is
nothing
you can be afraid
of”

The young soldier
will listen
and take
that into his mind
but when the enemy
comes
killing his friends
and leaving him to
die there
he will still be
afraid
but he will over come
it and survive
to see his friends
safely recovered in the hospital


A young man
walks up to another young man and
says
“Man,
I am
scared”

The other young man won’t even look at him
putting him on edge
and say in the most
uninterested way
“Then you’re
letting
someone scare
you”

The young man
will listen
and take
that into his mind
but when his life
starts moving
making him more
afraid than ever
and he refuses help
for fear of being
afraid even more
he will still be
afraid
but he will not over come
it and he shall only survive
to see that other young man
take over the duties that he
was unable to perform
Overwhelmed Oct 2012
she would hug me
when all the anger and sadness
and depression got too much
and in a moment of final weakness
I would cry tears as
my way of praying
and she would come, like a god,
and take me into her arms
whispering to me, cooing me,
telling me that all was forgiven,
all would be okay, and,
eventually, once the shudders
had stopped but the tears were
still wet on my face I would
raise my head and  look
into her beautiful eyes
and she would smile then
and kiss me with her soft lips
and it was only then that I knew
how to forgive myself, to forgive
god, forgive the universe, and
move on, holding her hand
until I could run free again
and go and get my heart hurt
all over again
Overwhelmed Jun 2011
relapse disguised
as everyday life

we don’t know what we’re doing
mainly because it doesn’t feel like
we’re doing anything at all

the guilt is
unnatural

strangely,
enough.
Overwhelmed Jan 2011
it is when
logic flies away
that we at our
most powerful
and our most
vulernable
Overwhelmed Nov 2011
I wrestle with myself
tonight

I fight with my darker half,
my bleaker thoughts,
my niggling doubts

he throws punches,
jabs at my ribs,
socks my eyes,
kicks in my knees

sometimes he hits me too hard,
in too soft a place, and I snap

I erupt

my rage boils over

I barrel back at him,
fists and feet blazing,
my arms stretching out
and then back but never
ringing true to flesh or
bone or anything

there is no way to fight
him because he is right

he’s a master at turning this
all against me

he knows what I know
(how hopeless this life
thing is) and he reminds
me each time I fail and
each time I am just weak
enough to believe him

he loves it when I try
to prove him wrong

(because I never can)

I wrestle with myself
today

I fight against the certainty
that death is the end

that darker half,
those bleaker thoughts,
my purposeless existence
and each constant
reminder

I wrestle with him
each day

he grabs my collar,
shakes me about,
spits in my face, and
calls me a coward

he laughs and
waits for me to burst
into that perfect
inferno

but I don’t, most days,
certainly, not tonight

he’s not getting to me
tonight

so I get up,
wipe his filth off my face,
shrug my shoulders
and leave

he smirks, knowing another show-down
is only a bad day or bad moment away
Overwhelmed Mar 2011
he wasn’t a solider
he wasn’t dying of cancer
he didn’t have any great struggle
he didn’t live without even the
most basic necessities of life

he didn’t  do anything honorable
he didn’t make strides in any field
he wasn’t a hero or a god
he was an average guy,
like you or me

his greatest act wasn’t a battle
his greatest success wasn’t in war
his victory wasn’t against other men
his choice wasn’t even conscious

his whole existence was mired in laziness,
his entire world borne of excess and fat,
his brave act, which makes him so great,
was meant to fight against this destructive
norm

he was a man, no,
a boy,
who looked at his brothers,
his friends, his fathers, and
saw pigs, gluttonous animals
meant to live in the mud

he looked to his world and
saw what it had come to:
the mud in a pig pen

and he thought,
not for a long
time, just enough,
and decided that
something was
not right

so from that day forth
he looked to his peers
look at what they did
and told himself:

I will not be like
them anymore
Overwhelmed Jun 2011
red flashes
to
green
and the pedal
sinks into
the
floor

quiet, soothing
jazz seeps out of my
speakers

speed goes to 10
then 20
then 40
then levels out
at an even
50

(5 miles over the speed limit)

my head is filled
with everything but
the task at hand

the DJ on the radio
apologizes for a mess-
up in the music

(we now return to
over the rainbow)

my mind is like
the road ahead

dark, lightless,
but there

it is borne of truth
and the future
but tainted by
the path
itself

(I almost have a head-on
collision as I try to make
a left turn on a green)

I get to the gas station
with my heart pumping

I see the lights inside,
the soda, magazines,
candy, cigarettes, and
day-old donuts

I quietly get out
and walk to the door
get an ice cream
and go back
to my
car

I take a deep breath
and ignite the engine
Overwhelmed Oct 2013
fear
only rewards
brutality
Overwhelmed Jan 2011
growth and development
will not come in one big rush
not on any single day
or any single moment

no,
it comes
much like the tree grows
or the tide grows
or the rock
grows

never noticeable till done,
before and after barely
seem different as they
transform into one another

we cannot tell you went it all changed,
but we can always remember when we
noticed
Overwhelmed May 2010
Boy sitting next to me
I see you
there
writing
drawn out lines
and a key in treble and
bass
what are you writing now?

I’ve heard of your work
never heard it
I don’t think that’s that
uncommon
But I say to you
don’t stop
keep writing!
for composer to my right
Creativity is
key

More so
than ever
Overwhelmed May 2011
he is the
worst person
you have
ever
met

he is constantly
judging

always
making snide
remarks

always telling you
that you can be doing
better

when he talks
there is
always a sense
of acknowledged
arrogance

his steps are loud
like the rest of him

he always seems to be around.
especially when you don’t want
him to be

he knows when
one more sly remark
will do you in

(and then makes
one)

he trashes your house at parties
he eats out your fridge clean
he seduces your girlfriend and
beguiles your wife and he always
seems to be preferred by your
friends

you can’t shake him
you can’t hide from him

he knows where you are
and you know that too

he doesn’t need shadows
when you’re as paranoid
as you are

he can be in the room
and yet somehow
be hiding from you

he laughs when you scream
at him for the millionth time

he smiles as you cry
or hold back crying

he climaxes when you beg
him to stop

he will never leave you

you are born with him
and will die with him

no-one else knows he’s there
but they always suspect there’s
someone bugging you

(they know people like him
too)

he doesn’t ever leave things too
messed up
and the worst part of it all
is that he’s right

always right
always always always
right

when he whispers that
you don’t love her

he’s right

when he shows you how stupid
you were acting

he’s right

when he dances ahead of you
because you can’t keep up

he’s right

and most of all he’s right
when he tells you it’s all
your fault

you can put your fists up
but that’s worth jack-****

he never needs to say a word
but he does anyways

(he always wins,
especially in fights)

he’ll ask you one day
what it’s like to be the
biggest **** up in the
world

you will suddenly hear
an empathic tone
in his voice
that most definitely
wasn’t there
before

what’s it like?
he asks again
and again
you hear that tremble,
that aching,
shaking,
terrible
confusion
that means he
really wants to
know

but why does he?

does he care?
does he not hate me?
does he… love
me?

he waits for your answer

“you’re not anybody,
are you?”

you’ll ask

no, he’ll say,
only what you
let me be

and from that day forth
he’ll only be a memory,
threatening to come back
if you ever let yourself
go (like you did) again
Overwhelmed Sep 2011
death would be easy

you’re right

but it’s for cowards
and weaklings and
fearful men

death is not an option
for the men who are destined
to do great things

the only choice
for them is how far their
journey will take them
and how hard their
path will
be

those meant
to go down in history
books all know it

they don’t discuss it
neither are they ever
entirely sure of their
fate

they know though,
they know they don’t get
to choose when their
work ends, only
where

so in a way,
death isn’t
easier

to ask the future
legends of humanity
to end themselves
too soon

that is an impossible
task

let nobody convince
you otherwise
Overwhelmed Mar 2011
back again
back again
back again

here

here is…
a crater of
failed
ambitions

here is…
a field
of dead
dreams

here is…
now,
living in the
pain of the
past

hurtling and
yet not moving
my bright lights
make no
noise

dead before even
beginning,
the end read loudly
before the first word
pronounced

back here,
again,
in the world
of despair

I whisper quietly
the injustices of the
world
while the vanity
of my existence
corrodes my heart
and my mind,
now petrified,
wears away with
the whims of
time
Overwhelmed Nov 2010
ah yes,
the crush

that festering,
infected,
growth
on your heart
that,

right now,

seems small
and
innocent
and
peaceful

but give it time

it will grow

increasing in size
and power until
you can’t deny it;
like genghis khan
knocking on the door
of those pompous,
Abbasid emperors
of a thousand years
ago

then you’ve lost
you can’t fight it
you don’t even want too
you just want to love,
to hug,
to caress,
to kiss,

her.

and then it all comes crashing down with a simple

no

but you know
what they
say:

“it’s only a crush”

and boy
how right they
are
Overwhelmed May 2010
I once almost cursed
the final performance
of a wonderful play I
had the fortune of being
a part of it

The play was Romeo and Juliet on Verona Street
Set in the 1930’s
I didn’t do anything important
Carried two bodies
Got in a fight
Smuggled some beer
Called a mob boss
Delivered a package
and
Investigated two dead bodies in
mime

but waiting on my final role
during the final performance
of this oh so wonderful
production I reached out to
a friend of mine (his name was
Paul but he played the Prince)
and told him

“I’d love to direct
MacBeth”

He did a double-take
Asked me what I said

I said again

“I’d love to direct
MacBeth”

“You mean the Scottish
Tragedy?”

I held my mouth in shock
I knew better
That name was cursed

Paul told me all was not lost
there was a way to reverse the curse
just listen close he said

Take your fingers in a peace sign
Spit between them
Swear (I said “*******”)
Turn around one,
two,
three times
Then leave the dressing room
And come back

I did all
and Paul was relieved
but Romeo chimed in
“well you know we have to circumcise you right?”

Paul added
“Yeah, with a Claymore!”

Don’t ever wish me luck,
I might break my leg!

I still want to direct MacBeth
and to show I’m serious I even
bought the script!

All that’s left is to get a stage,
and some money, and some
actors and maybe some talent
to go with my almost obnoxious
amount of luck
Overwhelmed Jan 2011
when I’m so lost that
even the night doesn’t
make sense any more

the times when my
mind has lost logic
and ideology

music doesn’t help
and neither does
the poetry

staring up at the stars
I feel the blackness and
pointlessness for once

the lion gazes at me,
noble as it is, and
smirks

victory is on the wall
but success is behind
it

metaphor’s without
meaning all of a sudden
make all the sense in
the world

trembling I write done
every word I hear and
see

the lost tapes of a
forgotten man do
not console a man
who’s never been
remembered in the
first place

sickness deep in my gut,
I know what this is all
about



throwing up in the hall,
a barn picture looks at
me and smirks

I throw it to the ground
and watch it hit without
breaking

I run
Overwhelmed Apr 2011
the rain drops
hitting my sky light
are just about
as beautiful as
I have ever
seen

I can’t actually see them
but the sound of
them…

it’s peaceful

on this day,
of ups, downs,
and unfortunate
situations
I can use a bit
of calm like
this

even as the thunder
sings its angry
songs to the
night,
there is an island
in the storm
for the
calamity
that is
my
life

tonight,
I lock myself
away
with the darkness
and
the storm,
hoping there’s
a meaning,
or a
reason,
or a purpose
for
once
Overwhelmed Sep 2010
morning,
don’t come too
soon

it’s 3 am
and it’s Sunday
when I wake
up

I don’t have church,
I don’t have school.

don’t got theatre,
or work,
or socialization
either.

it’s my day off.

when I’m irresponsible
in a responsible way

but morning,
take your time getting to
me

I need some rest
after the week I’ve
had

and for all those days
I wake up earlier for
you;
you can surely
give me one Sunday
to get some much needed
sleep
Overwhelmed Dec 2010
I’ve had trouble writing
all throughout this trip

you’d think in London,
an unfamiliar and
wild place,
I would find inspiration
in everything
but alas,
I have found
none

writing has become so integral
to my life
that I sense changes,
in myself,
when I cannot make
them

a man puts a bag above me
my sister twiddles her thumbs
women too old or too pretty for me are everywhere
but two perfect ones are in the next section up
my hand writing is messy
it’s warm in here
it’ll be cold at 30,000 feet

why can’t I write
about all of that?

I get angry
or
annoying
when I can’t
write

I sometimes put bars on my I’s
sometimes not

I tell everyone else my thoughts

my friends, my family,
my mom, my dad, my
sister, my hobo on the
street, my anything else
but the page

yet the page is the only one that doesn’t go
“shush”

a lady texts
someone was working below the toilet
I’ve got a **** week ahead
the exit sign is interesting to me
my music speaks to me too much now a days

I feel better

the ink on the page smiles at me
Overwhelmed Sep 2012
you had the voice
and body of a goddess

the kind
worshipped by natives
in the thralls of
their drug-induced
dances

they prayed
that you would
feed their lands
and
give life
to their crops

they sacrificed
virgins and
children and
their enemies

you taught the birds
how to sing
and
the day
how to be beautiful

your lips were
the entrance to
heaven

how I worshipped you too,
silently, in the moonlight
when I awoke at two AM
like I so often did

your hair would drape
over your eyes
and
your face
would seem unconcerned
so full of love
ethereal
not of this world

a sight that would put me at rest,
lulling me back into sleep, but,
as the native heathens learned,
not all gods are meant to be gods
and good worship is scarcely
a guarantee of good  fortune

your folly lied in everything
that made you perfect

your detachment
your care-free-nature
that you were a goddess
trapped in a mortal world

though I grew
and stretched out my limbs
upwards towards the sun
there was no way a mere man
could teach a goddess
how to celebrate
all this beauty
she had made
possible
Overwhelmed Mar 2011
night night
fragile world

I say goodnight
without saying
goodbye
and
I sadden myself

the end is coming
we all know this

the end is something
that can be prepared for
but the best finish
comes out of the corner
of your eye
or from way out of left
field
or even like a snake
sitting right in front of
your face

the end is nigh
as we all know

the end is coming
the end is here
this end is one of many
this end is a simple thing

so close your eyes
or don’t
I hope it comes
when I’m seeing something
nice
but it can come however you
want

you can choose your finish
or you let fate make up its
mind
Overwhelmed Apr 2012
I awake,
finding myself
in a car
speeding
down a highway
in the middle
of the
night

someone
is driving

I do not recognize them,
I am afraid to speak

something
hints that it’s
smirking,
taking a small laugh
at my expense

it leans over then,
looking at me I know,
but it has no
face

it whispers

your turn

and is gone
Overwhelmed Jan 2011
there amongst the snow
a tiny island
all to itself
a single flower
peaks it’s head
and says
forget me
not

this strange and beautiful sight
of a bloom amongst the ice
could be called a miracle
or an accident but in practice
brings hope to all the others
hidden in their struggle below
the ice

and the flower was called
daisy,
or sunny,
or jane

she was the lost ones,
the ones we wished hadn’t gone
but had

so there alone
a splash of blood
on an otherwise blank slate,
and she controls the
world

whispering,
forget me
not

she knows,
the flower
floating
alone,
of her power

but as you or I
or he or we
shut the door and
walk away from
the windows, she
begins to yell:
forget me not!

and we ignore her
despite the pain

and she screams,
forget me
not!

and we grit our teeth
as she bellows
one last time,
I cannot be forgot!

it is then that we can be calm,
come down from the agony and
return t our family and other
loves

and there alone,
still out in the snow,
the flower we barely
recognize sits and
plots her revenge
without noticing
the avalanche coming
quickly from her
Overwhelmed May 2011
is
it
that
hard
to
accept
that
life
is
short
and
finite?
Overwhelmed Mar 2011
all the time in the world
all the care needed to do
anything

guess I can start tomorrow
Overwhelmed Mar 2011
there’s something
overtly ****** about
her

something about those legs
or those *******
or those eyes

but it doesn’t arouse,
no,
it mystifies
it… tantalizes
it makes you want
more and nothing
less

when she struts
into the room your
thoughts don’t turn
to ******* and
then sleeping
and then *******
again

instead you look at her
and want to hold her,
to lay with her without
ever taking any clothes
off,
to kiss her,
but in a sweet way,
not with hunger or
lust

something about her
screams the call of a
breath-taking woman

but you don’t want
that
you want something
else, which you cannot
fully define

there’s something
odd about her

something not quite right,
and yet
perfectly fine…

to you,
for now,
at least.
Overwhelmed Mar 2011
it is no crime
to say
“**** it”
and
move on
with my
life

it took me years
to realize this but
even now I take it
as a privilege and
not a rite

times like these
always bring me
back to this debate

and every time
I say no no no
I need to do it
because I can do it
I gotta prove I can do it
gotta show ‘em
gotta teach ‘em
gotta learn ‘em
about what
I
can do

it’s times like these
that make me look
out the window at
the clouds and truly
appreciate them

the trumpet blares
out of the speakers
and I realize that I
might be cut out for
this world after all
Overwhelmed Jun 2011
there are still drops falling from the trees
still gray clouds in the sky
still small birds and bugs crawling form beneath their holes
still angry thoughts in our heads

there are still people waiting for savior
still men thinking women hold the answer
still books left unread
still meaning yet unfound
Overwhelmed Feb 2011
half of the teenagers I know
make art, and songs, and
poetry just to lash back
at the things they don’t like
in the world

complaining about their friends, or
rebelling against their parents, or
crying about how unfair everything
is

and the stupid ones,
the really stupid ones,
call someone out in
their work

but it’s not just the idiots.

the geniuses, the logicians,
the thinkers, the wise-childs,
the high-school cool kids,
the suicidal geeks, the god-
driven outcasts, the losers
too fat or too weird to hang
out with the “normals”

anyone.

anyone,
who makes any
sort of art,
has done
it.

and they feel stupid,
really, really, stupid
when the person finds
out and the **** hits
the fan and everybody
is on everybody’s side
and nobody’s evil while
everybody’s the bad
guy and it’s funny if
you’re lucky enough
to be outside of it
all

so just like every
stupid habit of man

(like love, and hope,
and destiny)

we cling and repeat,
and rinse and redo,
and keep writing
poems about people
we hate without
saying their name
and instead,
screaming
it

I grin at those
who get this
Overwhelmed Jun 2011
caught up in pride, in jesus,
in being “right”, in believing
in theory and clinging onto
belief, in defending faith, in
living life like it’s perfect,
in pretending that they know
all the answers

we die all the same
you know?

but they forget, talking of
magic solutions that promise
not effort or pain required

that’s not what’s going to
happen though

we’re going to suffer

suffer like sinners suffer
because we have sinned

we have committed the
one and only true sin:

ignorance

we do it so much, we’ve
taken to it like moths to
a flame, even defending
it like it’s something to
be proud of, something
that isn’t suicidal

they shout it on the radio,
debate it on the tv, talk
it up at rally’s, and print
it out for future invaders
to see in our newspapers,
magazines, and marble
institutions

are we afraid?
are you sacred?

we should be

the hole stares down at us
as the pit gets closer to the
core

are we going to do something?
are we going to man up?

sunlight filters down, but
we’ve still got to sew our
rope

(it’s made of sweat and
pain and finally admitting
that things aren’t getting
better)
Overwhelmed Apr 2011
for the smart,
you will persecuted

for the strong,
you will be put
to the test

for the passionate,
your commitment
will be tried

for the lucky,
you will have to
do without

for the hard times
are still to come

the past,
as gloomy as it
may seem,
does not compare
to the future

there will be times,
when being a loser
only means death

there will be times too,
when your children
are more of a parasite
and less of a human
being

and also there will be times,
when time is the only thing
we have left

for us,
the hardest trials
have yet to begin

the most difficult problems
have yet to arrive

the worst situations
have yet to pass

it will be thunderstorms,
and plagues, and theft,
and anarchy

the world will only know
******
and the execution
of it

and these times are still to come

the past has not
prepared us
for the future

the future where we will
fight when there is nothing
left to fight for

the future where we rise
from the ashes of war and
defeat and hatred

the future where we can
once again be human with
out being judged

the hardest times,
are still to come.

but the best times…

they are nearly in
reach.
Overwhelmed Feb 2011
he tries to appear
brave
pushing against
the updrafts
and when
he swoops he
appears as graceful
as ever

but I see his
struggle,
his panic,
where to go?
where to go?
what to do?
oh god
oh god
oh god
he thinks

I walk back
inside and watch
him for a time

he flies away
hampered by the
wind
and I wish him
god speed
home
Overwhelmed Jul 2011
she is so
magical
because I am so
sick

my body aches with
years of abuse and/or
neglect

my mind is the graveyard
for so many toxic thoughts

she can fix me,
I hope

not with bandages
or medicine,
nor therapy or
treatment

she will heal me
because she is so
healthy herself

sure, she has her own
scars, her own diseases
and lingering ailments,
but there’s something…

pure

something that tells me she
can understand my sins,
sooth my wounds, forget my
disfigurations, and nurse me
back to health

something no else
has ever been able
to do

she is the one who
will soak up the poisons
of my life

she knows just how
to turn my toxins
into gold

heaven, for the first time,
seems like a possibility
Overwhelmed Jan 2011
it has been a
long, long day
on this man’s
conscious

whether it be the guilt
of procrastination
or the pain
of seeing others
do what I really
want

all those visions
and noises
of a reality, I can
only dream
of

are painful
in a way only
dead men may
know

I am
haunted
by this
day.

(every day
it now seems)

I am haunted
and I am afraid
of asking:

is this it?
is this the rest of my life?
Overwhelmed Mar 2011
the murderer is a man who
makes a living doing what
everyone jokes about but
who deep down in their so
simple minds refuse to do
the deed for fear of some
shadow conjured up as a
means to control them in
their weakest moments

the murderer lives in our
brain but lives in the hands
of very few

so few of you are killers
so few of you are people
who’ve escaped the fear

the killers are the people
who refuse to die without
a fight/the killers are the
people who refuse to keep
living without having things
their way

the murderers are killers
but the killers are creators
creators of terror, fear, and
anger, but also anguish, and
tears in volume of the ocean

the murderers
the musketeers
the marauders
the generals
the corporals
the soldiers
the butchers
the land developers
the tree planters
the kid sitting there
eating an apple

they’re all killers
all the killers are
all of them and
all of them are
all of us
Overwhelmed Oct 2010
1

back again!
I declare
high on my horse
ridden through so many
****** battles

I am back,
again!
I yell to the heavens
and to the people that
I scarcely know

I screamed:
I am back!
and I’m here
to rule my land
once again!

but as I looked out upon my land
I wondered at who I was screaming at
and the tumble **** that rolled past me
was the only audience I could find
in this desert place I call my domain

2

the earth is dry
and
the rivers dry
and
the mountains wet
but only with cold
snow

the trees grow already dead
the wildlife only exist in starving vultures

this desert land I call my home
is frozen in time
at the worst point
it has ever faced

but somehow
in this time of frozen time
a letter came to me
with a dagger
in the envelope

it read on the side:
“cut forth
the future”

taking a stab at the air with it
I felt it’s perfection
the balance
the girth
the weight
were all right
and then I struck with a jolt
the wall of the very castle
I had built with my own hands
and the crack grew,

it grew
and grew

up my perfect marble walls,
up the concrete poured oh-so-carefully,
up through the paintings,
up through the art,
up up up
it went
till the ceiling cracked
the walls collapsed
and my house was no more
than rubble

3**

it was as if water were rushing out of an ancient dam

the fields turned green
the rivers flowed blue
and the forests burst
with the plants of a billion
colors

my land had returned to time again,
it’s king having been released
from his prison

but this land,
that is mine,
was reborn a different beast
and I had no knowledge of
how to reclaim it

I was without home
I was without friend
I was without tool
I was only with myself

but I knew that’s all I needed,
so I got up and dusted off myself
and as I walked out of my ruins
for the last time I picked up my will
and began to tame the land once
again
Overwhelmed Jun 2012
I gathered up the last
of her today
and
put it in
a box

her dress,
her apron,
her robe,
her jacket

that’s all that’s left of her
that’s what’s left of our
love

the box sits now
watching
sternly sending
me a simple
message

you will face me

you will put an end
to this

and it waits for me
to take that box,
full of what’s
left of
her and I,
and go give
it back
to her

because,
in the end,
all these things belong
to her
and,
in the end,
they must eventually
be returned
Overwhelmed Jul 2014
the problem of mortality is
that we will never know which
poem will be the last.
so we have to keep
making them,
better and better,
each one an improvement
on the last,
because we fear
that from the afterlife
(which all poets believe in)
we will read our last poem
and it will be about
something stupid.

like the futility of life
or the last poem we’ll
ever write.
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