I just don't know.
I love him.
That is all I know at the moment.

I just don't know.
I feel like crying.
That is all I know at the moment.

I just don't know.
I can't take a chance when I know how I feel.
That is all I know at the moment.

I just don't know.

Im done with waiting for a response
Im done with pretending we had nothing
Im done having regrets
Im done thinking you could ever change
Im done wondering what if....
Im done thinking I ever had a chance
          Im done with you........

Yeah...my heart is broken.....but .......it will be reassembled....and beat faster.....every.....time...I see him..........and break again.....and again....and again.....

Yeah...my heart is calling....but...it will lose it's voice......and stay silent.....regain vocal sounds......every time.....he speaks to me......and be lost....again, and again........and ....again.

Yeah.... I love him....that *******....my *******....my *******.....

yeah.... I cry...for him....cause of him....
yeah.... he is on my mind......every day......every night

yeah.... I love him........................................... I ......love.....him.

Yeah.......

When you can't stop thinking of them
When you wake up and the first thing on your mind is them.
When you remember all the ******* they put you through but still smile.
When you look up to the clouds and you swear you can spell out their name if you shift some clouds here and there.
When Alicia Keys "No one" is playing in your head.
When you forgive them before they even tell you what they did.
When you see something and you know they would like to have whatever you saw or do whatever you saw.
when you know that at that moment and possibly forever they are the only ones who can make you feel loved.

And I still carry with me
That drawing.
It's covered in wrinkles on its once flawless white skin.
Fold marks were never there but now after folding it so many times
After so many openings to see how beautiful your soul could be
The paper is slowly coming apart.
I still carry it where ever I go.
I sleep with it in my pocket and hold onto to it when I need you to protect me from the dark and its shadows.
Even when I am next to you in person I carry it.
Do you know that I carry it?
That drawing of the rose.
The one you gave me on Valentines day.

It's in my pocket
Right
Now.

Anthony, I still have it.

And life went on while you went away
No Crashing of the stars, no stopping of the world Nothing.
Today I saw you and my heart fluttered but it wasn't that big of flutter like it use to be.
Ha, maybe you are not my whole world like I use to think maybe just a part that makes my life more sweet.
Or maybe I am getting use to not having you and already moving on to the guy who makes me laugh
          all the time, to the one who speaks adorably, to the one who's touch still lingers even when he is gone.
No Crashing of the stars nor moon with Earth, nothing
Y*ou I still like but I don't know. I don't know how to go about anything anymore.

I saw him with new eyes.
Gay eyes.
(Though, these eyes have always been gay eyes.)
I noticed his long nose,
a slide for the sweat that took the ride down
landing where his foot had once been.

I noticed his hair, a wildness of blond,
Going this way
That way
No way.
His eyes of the sea darted this way
That way
No way.
I shivered as the sea breeze touched me
whenever he looked my way.

I noticed his smile.
A smile that pulled at my ****** muscles so I could grin.
Yes, I saw him.
With new eyes
old eyes
Gay eyes

Don't be foolish.
Pledge allegiance with the moon and stars.
With the creatures of the night.
With the shadows that hide dexterous spies.
In the end it us who win.

Besides...we have ...cookies.