They talk about this and that
Things that I'm unaware of
They don't tell me
But I can feel
That despite our closeness
They're hundred miles away
They're unreachable
I cannot be like them
And I don't think I would
Because I knew it from the start
I'm not part of their world

I wanna close my eyes
And feel the darkness
With everything goes black
I know I'm free
No one can see me
No one can judge
As the darkness swallow me
I feel alone
Alone in a good way
Coz sometimes you don't need anybody
To feel that you're existing
Just close your eyes
And feel the darkness
Everything goes empty
And you're the only one there

I'll write a poem not because of your presence
But because of my absence when you're there
I'll write a poem not for your words
But for the silence I made
I'll write a poem not as confession
But as song of hidden thoughts
I'll write a poem not for your look
But for how I see your eyes
I'll write a poem that's not about you nor me
But I'll write a poem that's all about us
I'll write a poem not because I want to
But because my heart hates to forget you

Hidden within smile is grief
Hidden within hope is misfortune
Hidden within peace is war
Hidden within love is hate
Hidden within laugh is tears
Hidden within freedom is conviction
Hidden within heaven is hell
Hidden within hidden is truth

I'm not popular
I'm nobody in this world
While others are in the stage
I'm in the corner
Spending my time with myself
Yes, all by myself
Apart from them
Apart from what they call 'world'
I can't be with them
I can't be with the people
Why?
Because I found a world in the corner

I closed the door
Though I don't want this
Stain of blood
Tears mixed with it
I knelt
Still can't believe
My daughter crying
Had removed her teeth

One day, the teacher asked her students to explain this;
"Life will never give you a mouthful of rice but a rice field"
One of the students raised his hand
"It only means that life is never selfish to give us everything"
But the teacher replied,
"Any other answer?"
The child now wondered,
"Why Mam? Am I wrong? What's the meaning of the statement?"
The teacher then replied,
"It only means that life will never give you everything
That it will give you something you have to work on first"
Then the student felt contented

One day, I told my father
"If I'm going to die now,
I don't want my death to be painful"
My father then answered me,
"How did you know that death is painful?
Have you experienced it already?"

No! It's all your fault
You're the one who put me in this situation
I was once a good boy
Obeying all your orders
Doing whatever it takes to be right
Giving all my efforts to be mere perfect
That's what you wanted
And I did all of that
Now that I failed
To pursue your dreams for me
Is it still my fault?
I've done my part
You're the one who did nothing
You're the one who shaped me into this
I have no such things to explain
For once I want to be who I really am
I regret that time when you gave birth to me
That you were assigned to be my parents
I regret that I let you rule me
I regret that I let you do all of these
I regret this feeling of forgiving you
I regret this feeling that I made a mistake
I regret that I regret everything that we used to have with
I regret to admit that I still love you no matter what

Touch by touch
Knees to knees
Sweat to sweat
Breath to breath
No one knows
No one cares
Who's it going to be
Next to you on chair
Different faces
Different lives
Merged into one circumstance
Through a Toki Ride

Look at you
Are you what you are?
Or you are what others want you to be?
Trapped in the amidst of expectations
Jailed with dishonesty in oneself
Slaved in the hands of your own destiny
How will you escape?
If the only key is to reveal who you are?
And that key is in your hand for a long time?
Would you still want to be a prison in your own body?
Or be the one whom you really want to be?
Whatever the answer, the key is in you anyways.

Life is unpredictable
It is not manifested on the wrinkles of the palm
Nor on the arrangements of stars

Life is not determined on the flash of cards
Not in the wishing well
Nor through a fortune teller

Life is not a story alone
It is a book
And we are the author

So whatever the pages will be
Depends on what we write
The ending is not for ours to indicate

Unstable breathing
Though nose is attached
In a tube with air
Connected to a tank

Trying to touch your face
Trying to utter a word
Grasping the strength I need
While my eyes force to close

In this bed for almost a month
You've been with me since then
I'm afraid of the aftermath
If I leave you alone here

I still remember how you tie my shoelace
How you fill the gaps between my fingers
How you bite your fingernails
Though you always have a nail cutter

I still can feel the depth of your kiss
The tenderness of your hug
The warmth of your breath
And the softness of your hand

I still can figure out your face
With your eyes so calm
With your dimples emphasized
And smile with charm

I'm not afraid to die
Yet I'm afraid I'll not finish
All the things.......

We always want what we don't have
And pay no attention on things we own
We don't want things that seems enough
And pray to have some more

Even when we got what we really need
We're always craving for something else
And we often lose what we posses
Seldom aware of it

When everything disappears in a blur
Then we blame other people
We don't realize that it's our fault
And we deserve to suffer

Happiness is not of possessing so much
It is not of craving for more
Coz in this world we only need 'enough'
And contentment in our soul

I am not wealthy yet I always shop
I didn't finish my studies yet I have a job
In the shopping center where my day starts
Lies a fairytale that describes my life

This place possesses a lot of doors
Yet no one has ever tried to let me go
Inside their room, inside their stall
Unless I have money, perhaps some coins

With my palm widely open, I sit
Beside the wall, I leaned
My eyes was filled with compact tears
Caused by hunger I endured ever since

I watch the people who go and come
They wear different smiles and clothes so fine
Some with their friends, colleagues and mom
Things I don't have yet I don't know why

How I wish I was that girl in Rodic's
Who refused to finish her meals
For I know I will never waste
A single food which is a lifetime grace

How I wish I was that man in the store
Who buys some stuff for school
How I wish I can have the chance to know
All what he writes in his notes

How I wish I was that child with her mother
Who bought her a cone of ice cream
How I wish my parents even bother
That my life is in vain

How I wish people would realize
That I'm not begging for their money
But for a single piece of love
And kindness for me

Now, they shout at me for ruining the place
For staying here and going here always
It's not my fault if I have a ***** dress
All I'm trying to do is to survive by myself

In this little palace, I'm the little queen
With no crown of education and scepter of understanding
I don't know how to count yet I know how to dream
That my tale will change somehow, someday

Everything must come to an end
Rain, happiness, peace and even life
There are no exceptions

Every story has its ending
Every birth has its death
And every road has an endpoint

Forever does exist
Yet it doesn't happen
And it will never be

So no matter how hard we run
No matter how far we go
Every race has its finish line