The happiest man I see all day
cleans up after us depressed college kids
While we chase jobs that aren't our dreams
And drown ourselves in liquor so we don't feel a thing
While we smoke ciggerates to exhale all the pain
And it really makes me wonder what were doing here if the happiest man I see all I day is only just a janitor.

i sit and fumble
as I write down each word
my legs they shake
make them stop for ******* sake
my mind is spilling
like the ink from this pen
my fingers are about to kindle
like a sewers would without a thimble
my lips they quiver
even more with each letter
i need a smoke or a drink
to allow my mind to think
ill break this cork oak
hoping everything will just flow
without reason without thought
like a **** flooding after a drought
never to be captured or held in again
but what should be found
will be lost except the one truth
which is

that I hate myself

but thats okay
cause you love me
and maybe thats enough

I grasp the shadow of your hand
That the window creates
I feel the imaginary pulse of your heart
As it fluctuates
I keep the tempo
That rhythm in my head
Visualizing your lips
And how each dimple connects
Struggling to hold off the tear in my eye
Because I know if death brings me to you
I'm ready to die

She was gone
Like the wind
Never to be seen
Nor felt within
She was gone the very first day I met her
I knew she'd never let me in

The day you have to die
I hope you realize
Your life was the best part of mine

I was just a boy
I was a child
I didnt know right from wrong

I was always giving up
Cause everything kept falling down

The worst thing about it all
No one ever taught me the biggest part

Like how to catch my self when I fall
And how to mend my broken heart

I never got to realize it wasn't my fault