Late one night i walked the area, then i found you laying on a grave, staring out looking at the sky. you notice and sweetly greet me, i return the greet and we talk. as dawn approaches we depart. i meet you every night on the same grave, and talk all night. i stayed after dawn once and read the grave you stayed on... we still talk, i still come every night, but now, every day i lay a flower on there for you, for it is yours.

Closing my eyes I hear screams and cries, a storm begins with the rain landing on ground until the sky lights up, they begin to shake as the flashes of pain disappear. softly the rain continues to fall the night sky is lit up once again, heavy blows land. Thunderous screams echo through the empty halls. When i open my eyes I'm covered in tears, being held by a helpless child...

"Yeah, I'm okay.." you whispered with your voice shaking watching the sunlight slowly fade from the evening sky, you turn to try to smile at your stuffed animals.

"I... I'm okay.." you'd whisper again, surrounding yourself with your stuffed friends, with your lips quivering attempting to smile again.

"I can hide from them... I won't let you go.." you'd mumble grabbing your favorite bear. "You'll protect me.." you'd mutter to yourself as you hear banging on your door...

"couldn't take your hand, the one
you forced me away with.
I would say thank you
but you never helped with this,
you were the last one out,
without a whisper I never saw you.
without you I still had my nightmares.
time after time I would hear you shout.
rarely at her.
to us you always would.
now I wish I could say more
but I can't.
you didn't say anymore,
you didn't save anymore.
so now I'll take her hand and leave out the door.
for once I'm done with this poe,
just thought I should let you know."

Dragging this razor across my wrists, feeding its hunger, kissing my indulgence, spreading the pain. Please...

Letting the blade fall, letting the blood spill, letting the nightmare continue. Help…

Failing to stop the black, failing to control it, failing to keep my promises. Save me.

Help me to stop myself, help me from slipping, help me from crashing.

Slipping through the ecstasy, sliding the knife up my arm. The slithering pain drowning me in the empty darkness. Banging on the walls the pleasure eludes me, the overwhelming pain engulfs me writhing in it on the floor.

Please stop me from this nightmare, Please help me, Please save me from what i want.

Blinded from all except myself, tormented by the voices of the disturbed.

I wear glasses to see the normal, only to be visited by more disfigured strangers.

I've tried finding my reflection in mirrors, only to find a faceless, gaunt figure looming over where I thought I was.

I listened until the ringing faded,
I watched as the lights burned out,
I turned as they began to yell,
I closed my eyes as tears began to fall.

I listened to the moaning and sighing,
I watched my nightmares swear they would end this,
I turned against harsh words,
I closed my hands upon cold steel.

I listened for subtle worries to be expressed,
I watched the surroundings fumble when they pass,
I turned as the ****** finally get dressed,
I closed my mind when it all stops.

Ten nights ago you called, ten nights you called again and again, ten times I've smoked, nine nights now I've smiled. "I miss you..." you'd whisper sweetly, thoughtlessly I would repeat it back to you. These nights in constant pain, these nights you would ask to be plain, as I would reply with just a feint.

"hey, can you talk?"
because for about a year a single phrase was said well over a thousand times,
and during a couple months not a word was said.
"hey"
was all that was needed, and now after a month we are talking again,
and a single phrase was brought up, the same phrase as before.
"i don't know..."
I'm just curious what you mean, the first time you said it recently was something new,
I just want you to know that when i say it, it still stands true.

A soft smile shows you're sweet..
A silent glance says you're curious.

With caring eyes you listen.
With a soothing voice you hold me tight.

With this kiss I give you my breath.
With this embrace I give you my warmth.
With this hand I give you my heart.

You feel a light caress on your shoulder while you're in solitude,
You turn and nothing is there.
You feel a sweet warmth in your hand,
you squeeze and nothing is there.
You let tears run down your face,
But they are wiped a way without a trace.
Laying there motionless, kissing the air,
you know they are memories.
Memories of my time there,
Memories before this nightmare.

More often than not I stare at these bruises and scars lining my arms.

The pain surges for hours, counting the night away with the clock ticking and my pulse racing.

Wishing only to be dead continuously crying in my own bed, the worst pounding comes from my head.

Sleep eluded once again,
Nothing is ever the same,
Using nothing as a name...

I lay here wishing to dream again,
I lay here wishing to rid the pounding in my head.
I lay here wishing only to be dead.

Is it bad to say that your smile says you're sweet,
Is it bad to say that I find it hard to talk to you
Is it bad to say that I can't stop stuttering
Right when I think about you
Is it bad to say I think your cute?
Is it bad so say.... I like you

With this my smile turns to tears,
With this all my sleeves are stained,
With this I know its too late.

I'll take my time,
I'll take my knife,
I'll take my life.

If only I could bleed,
If only i could take the knife,
If only i could.

Never again will I smile,
Never again will I show my sleeves,
Never again will I wish I had more...

"A soft knocking on the door, a weak call for attention, another tear splashes into its pool..
"Hello? Are you okay?"
They would ask, never cracking the door to see, with a weaker cry I would try, another blade slides across to see more tears fall..
The voices scream and shout behind the door, still I sit..."

Black and blue,
Beaten and bruised,
Broken and burned.

Smiling while crying,
Whispering while bleeding,
Laughing while dying.

The terrible lies of madmen swim through a crowd like flies. As one cries another tries, with scars tracing their bodies, with signs of abuse lining their words and movements.

Swallowed by their own fear, tormented by their own minds, writhing in their own agony. They stay listening to their pain, listening to their neighbor's pleas, listening to their wardens as they continue to their dooms.

I'll be able to write for you again once I... When I am okay.

Sleepless now, i try to smile and laugh, for a reason to continue.

Convinced this is pointless..
Ridiculed by everything..
Imprisoned by my own imagination..

I give up.. I sigh... and I try. Once more, and i am okay..

Forgiven.. Forgotten.. But.. Okay.