In my mind I'm still that same scared little boy,
Frantically playing with his toys in an attempt to forget what hurts him.
What frightens him.
The secret.
Somewhere in the fogginess of my childhood lies the key.
The key that first unlocked the door to my anguish.
Anguish that has stalked me into adulthood.
Like the secret.
I remember those terror stricken nights well.
What was I afraid would be hiding under my bed?
Or crawling in through my window?
Was it a repressed memory I feared would catch up to me?
A secret of abuse? Of Insanity?
It seemed the monster I feared was myself,
and the truth that only I can bring.
The secret.
Must I find it to feel whole again?
So I search.
Wandering through desolate subconscious paths in my mind.
Paths that lead to nowhere.
Maybe that's been it this whole time,
maybe nothing made me this way.
Just as a wolf is born with the thirst for blood.
I am a manifestation of sorrow,
The embodiment of my own hate,
I am the secret.

I see pain hiding in every smile.
I hear crying within your laughter.
The most fragrant of flowers smell vile.
The plot thickens with passing chapters.
In fact lately I'm spiraling down faster,
Enslaved by ******* corporate masters.

I can feel the hate in each, "I love you."
I see darkness wherever there is light.
Abuse, ****, ******, war, nothing new
Same old same old each day is a fight.
Until I'm asphyxiated and blue,
while the noose is gripping me tight.

In my dreams it seems that darkness looms
A future of misery, death and gloom
Buildings ablaze and fields of tombs
Each action you take, brings closer our doom
Revelations will manifest soon

And I doubt that Jesus will return
He'd rather watch us all suffer and burn
Now Peace and love may be for what we yearn
But pain and death is all that we've earned
That seems to be the only way we learn

The land of the free and home of the brave
Home of the brainwashed, land of unmarked graves
Genocide, hypocrisy, and slaves.
The end is near and I don't want to be saved
I'm sick of hearing us all rant and rave

So if I may say, let me fade away
Prior to Anglo Saxon judgement day
I see the weak upon which we've preyed
As does God so don't bother to pray

I watch the waves crash against a black and white shore.
I feel the grit of colorless sand on my feet.
Under the Boardwalk I spot an eyesore.
I see a man curled up, shivering in a raggedy sheet.

I rise so I can speak to this pitiful man
But Walking in dullness feels like an eternity.
I said, where will you go? Do you have a plan?
He let out a little sigh and turned to me.
He said well brother, I have a short life span.
I'm cold and alone, look around there's no color to see!

I notice he is leaking blood. Redness  drips on the grey sand.
I say should I phone a doctors this looks bad!
He says no, just grab my hand
I bleed for you! So just be glad.

Why bleed for a man that you do not know?
Well brother I can see the sorrow in your soul.
You've been here too long and you have to go.
Your heart has turned as black as coal.
But there's more to see, you have more to grow.
You wither as you watch the grey waves roll.
So I give you this redness just so you know;
that there's still color in this world as you stroll.

Hadn't seen my brother in awhile, I wondered if he’d something risky.
Instead I found him at home sitting alone drowning in swigs of whiskey.
The dark living room became his cave.
The couch acted as his grave.
How strange it is to see a man become a bottles slave.
Has Bourbon withered him away until there's nothing  left to save?

Much time has passed since we roamed the woods and strolled along the creek.
Now it seems the creek has dried, the trees have died, and the forest looks bleak.
But somewhere out in the cornfield I can still here him speak.
Corn, the original form of the poison that makes him weak.

Misinformation, also outright lies
Government, terrorist, drug cartel ties
The facts are out there just open your eyes
The flag is what some have grown to despise
But Hearts of men are where the enemy lies
One day all trees will die and the wells will dry
Earth will weep 'til it has no tears to cry
Look into the mirror when asking why

Long ago our forefathers screamed and wept
Oppression is what they refused to accept
They fought well and died while others slept
Their ideologies is what we've kept
A great  challenge emerging that's what's next
Study library books and read the texts
The solution's hiding it makes me vexed
History's a cycle, it's always hexed

Ashes to ashes so it shall begin.
I ask, is there any way we can win?
Finally we'll pay for our legacy of sin.
So pour your favorite whiskey maybe some gin.
Watch conflict do it's dance while the earth still spins.
We slaughter one another while the rich mock us with grins. C
ivil war is coming witness Kin slay kin.
Foe will **** foe and friend **** friend.
Darkness is dawning, waiting around the bend.
Widows will be made, mothers will cry.
Fathers and brothers and cousins will die.
Our streets and backyards are where their cold bodies will lie.