It's 9pm and here is me;
sitting on my bed,
asking why did I awoke?
to the singing voices of
last year's nightmare
from last year's trauma


It's 9pm and here is me;
thinking about again last year's
trauma, of when I felt the razors
kissing my skin with such feeling
I can never describe.


It's 9pm and here is me;
Overthinking what will be tomorrow woes?
and listening to the hush sound of silent's noise.
and then I sit there
replaying last year's sadness.
Oh dear lord, this is such a distress.


It's 9pm and here is me;
whispering a prayer to cradle myself to sleep
and thinks blessings, and thinks about hope
that somehow might eventually show,
and then I exhale for the depression to go
because I can't sleep when I worry about my woes.


It's 9pm already, and yes i know
for I tucked myself again to bed
and whispered "Please give me a rest."
for I need it now,
because i feel so weak,
and then here again I dream,
for not again the bad dreams
but the happy ones,
and now I sleep now,
with a smile on my face.


and yes, it is now 9am.*
I am awoke by the sun's beam by the window,
I raise my arms up as I blink and see thy shadow,
and then I pray and thank you,
and smiled
for God saved my poor soul,
and made me calm.
Here goes the birds flying by the window,
greeting by a tweet,
telling to never frown
for today's a new day,
why worry if you're going down?

Oh, the pain
the pain
it always
rains in
my soul

Oh, the pain
with hate
It always
cranes
inside my
heart

Oh, the pain
with insane
It always
stays
in my brain

Killing me
back
and forth
to and fro
until I fall
without
a halt
by the
ground

*reaching to
the asplhalt(

The delicious
and such malicious
way of how the
look of the blade
to thy wrist;

It's blue pulse,
jumping up and down.
Suddenly appearing,
And calling attention.
to the wonderful shiny
silver blade.
Just like a woman,
flirts to a man.

And closer comes
the blade towards thy
wrist, Slowly and gently
coming to position.
One Slash there,
and another there.

Until the pulse,
slowly releases
the strawberry jam
into her.


*And dies away.

My love for you is like
the sinking ships

Swallowed by the sea
and creaking from it's hips

Dramatically and
slowly until it reaches the ground

Towards an endless howl
from the inside.

But couldn't be able to
swim away and
stay it by ashore.

because just like the ships
It might sink again just like
the bitter remnants of love.

I saw
the
deliciously
blue pulse
jumping
back and forth
under
my thumb
and
under
my wrist,
thumping
so slow
but wanting
to get
out.

and then
with
a knife
at one
hand
I began
to
cut the
jumping
one
first
on my
both
thumb.

Next,
also
in my
wrist.

Gleefully,
and
vaguely
happy
to see
it spitting
out
the red blood
out of
my
system,
As I
walk away.
And splash
It in
the bathroom
walls.

*I fade away

I.

I went to wendy's yesterday
and I saw ed on the other day
and he carried with him, a bagful of books
and came along will, and saw him
they exchanged looks
and Will asked for some 'tools'
So came along Kim
who wore too much makeup
and she sat on the chair beside me
to look for boys who she would
hook up with.

II.

I went to wendy's yesterday
and I saw ed on the hay
and he carried with him, a handful of smokes
and he started to fling the smoke and breath in the air Inside his throat.
Then came along will, and saw him
he passed him a light, and gave a wink
they exchanged gifts
and ed asked for more ***
and will handed him, and ed gave his jackpot
So came along kim
who wore shorts and tops that showed her breast
she sat to the chair beside the teenager
and want to flirt with him over the motel
and gave her a wink
as she grabs the jackpot.

III.
I went to wendy's yesterday
and ordered for a milkshake
when I saw ed by the counter with his tray
and he carried with him, a gray bag full of *******
and he started to tuck it between him,
as he ordered a burger and some fries.
Then came along will, and saw him
he passed him the pack, and gave him a smile
they exchanged gifts
and will gave him the cash
and ed stashed the burger wrapper in the trash
So came along kim
who wore a mini skirt and tops that showed her cleavage
She sat to the chair beside the man
and the man smiled and gave her some cash
and gave him a wink
as he follow her to the motel

IV.
For graduation,
I came to wendy's to celebrate
and ordered salads for the day
and then I saw ed outside
handcuffed by the police for selling cyanide
and then I saw Will inside
displeased and gave a sigh
and brought out a smoke
to feel it's air deeply inside his thigh
that's when Tracey pointed to kim,
and told me she was selling some thing
and that she couldn't go with us to celebrate
Because of the baby in her den.
And lewis pointed to ed,
Said he was addicted
to the things that we weren't suppose to take.

V.**
I went yesterday at wendy's
and saw the coffin that was ed's
and saw the gun that Will was holding,
as he began to get the **** out of the man.
I chewed my burger that day at wendy's
and can't help but ask why
why the people was circling
around Kim's body.
By the sidewalk.