Sometimes I wonder if my first mistake in loving you was getting to actually know you.
Know you like the back of my hand,
And then realizing just now,
That there is the tiniest freckle in that wrinkly area between my thumb and pointer finger
And I have been alive and barely breathing for 14 years but I never noticed that speck.
Or if my first mistake in loving you was
Introducing you to my friends as the boy I was talking to at 4 am on school nights
And the boy that I had just promised I was "done with" 2 days ago
At Elizabeth's house because I saw you kissing Karly behind the bleachers on Thursday.
But right now, I am standing in front of 20 somewhat people,
Questioning if my first mistake in loving you was
Watching you **** me 1 month into our strenuous relationship,
I don't mean the *** was bad,
I'm just saying it wasn't the best either,
And that you probably could've done better.
Or maybe you couldn't have,
Your ***** was a bit small.
I'm just explaining that I think if I had loved you correctly,
Then the *** wouldn't have made me question if no actually means no
And whether or not the height of my skirt made your ***** decide that it was getting through My lace ******* one way or another that night.
I'm not telling you that I regret it, because I don't.
I don't regret things.
I don't regret things.
I don't regret things.
But I do regret you,
And I do regret walking out of the house in that mini leather skirt despite my mother's Objections,
Even though I should be free to walk around my city wearing whatever ******* clothes I want To,
Without worrying over whether or not I'm asking to be ***** at
Dickpoint.
So the question is if I really didn't love you,
Which at this point of the poem,
I don't I think I ever did,
Then who made the first mistake in our relationship?
And boy, you better take the blame for it this time,
Because I am an angel.
And I will not claim this loss as a loss,
But in fact as a win,
Because I deserve better than this.
I deserve better than regret.
I deserve better than ****.
I deserve better than you.
I deserve better than your *****.
I deserve better than your uncomfortable hands.