How cruel it was to meet you,
Each moment away breaks me,
Down into tiny pieces,
Now I feel so small,
Laying in this bed for two,
Grasping pillows,
Longing for you.

I believe in freedom,
In my ability to dream,
In true love that never lasts,
In re-living a thousand pasts,
I believe in the winds that carry,
And the soul that guides me,
In hope that has been forgotten,
The tragedy of innocence rotten,
I long for the taste of love again,
I force it when I have no heart to lend,
I believe in the America my Father praised,
The swings and fences on which I was raised,
The purity and love of my beautiful Mother,
The wisdom shared in the words of my Brother,
I believe in returning to that sweet little home,
In which my tiny feet used to roam,
With such endless possibilities,
I believe in the hope my youth still frees.

Childhood memories flood through my mind,
Growing happiness and deep guilt are now intertwined,
I trace your image on the inside of my teary eyes,
I shut them tight and try to eternally crystalize,
Your laughter, your love and your loyal heart,
I never thought there would be a day you would part,
I called you family and I admired you deeply,
I regret the distance in the end that was between you and me,
I will miss your jokes and welcoming smile,
The care and kindness you showed me as a juvenile,
How you were there to watch us all grow,
Your quirks and dedication we all came to know,
I will miss the love you showed my family,
And how in return we loved you endlessly,
I know that heaven has embraced your sweet voice,
And down here you will forever be remembered as family-
As our loving Joyce.

This icy heart can still fracture,
Into sharp shards that burn like fire,
I will never show the pain to you,
Unable to bear a soul that's see-through

But how am I supposed to hold it in,
When everything you do reminds me of him,
As I sit alone at a table set for two,
Waiting on another man who doesn't come through?

How am I supposed to forget my past,
When the scars I bear continue to last,
And we try to be something precious,
But I die inside from each poisonous kiss,

Because I can't hold the pain I once held again,
I was finally figuring out how to play pretend,
Until you came in and let me down over and over again,
Darling, you can still break something that is broken.

I never really learned to play all the other kids’  games,
I was too busy licking wounds from branded names,
I never stole or harmed or even cheated,
So why am I always the one mistreated?
She can put you through hell and make you walk on fire,
But she keeps you trapped in her twisted desire,
I am standing here with my heart in your hands,
Making all these empty-promised plans,
Ones you are willing to give up for her,
Still menacingly caught in her deceitful allure,
Don’t lead me on to wring me out- high and dry,
Don’t tell me these secrets that do more than imply,
I know that I built this kingdom of ours to fall,
I knew she had you spell bound in her devilish enthrall,
So here I am once again left to unwind the thread I pull,
Forever to roam the games people play an outcast; unloveable.