at times, I find her in my dreams
her eyes, her smile, her devilish grin
reminds me much of how I loved
reminds me much of how it hurts

at times, I find her in my dreams
a glimpse of what things could've been
at times, I wake to find my head
echo a love I once thought dead

at times, I find her in my dreams
at times, she knocks; I let her in
at times, her gaze pierce through my heart
at times, at left,
                         are pieces, and parts

as i tread through the forest's depth,
many paths made itself seen.
one clear and candid, unlike the rests
begging me to go in.

but I hesitated - of course I did,
before choices that lot.
"Time is ticking - hurry up, kid,
dare you walk where all have not?"

"Not really", I answered,
after quite a long pause.
only silence came after,
that's all I needed to know...

all the medals, new and of old
shine a vivid shade of gold
though they prove to be no less
than a pile of my regret

for the difference they may make
will not matter 'til too late
makes me wonder, why I try
to do more than just not die
...

though I know I must persist
for that is just how I live
a life of 'chievements, and of scores
highlights, stages and applause

and though the path is void of color
I must crawl after the treasure
for I have been told there is
though I doubt that it exists...

But everyone, wake or asleep,
Doesn't care 'bout me one bit.
Like I am a harmless breeze,
Like I don't even exist.

For they can not see what I see,
Not all who wander find their key.
I mourned for them, I really did.
Their mind is shackled by their feet.

For they will never realize,
They have vision—blind is their mind.
Their eyes can't see what my own does,
Their soul isn't a breeze like mine.

Slammed the door behind my back,
Threw my bag next to the wall,
And then I jumped straight to bed,
And into a deep sleep I fall.

And my thoughts started to fade,
And my body disobeyed me.
I felt like I'm floating upwards,
I felt like the stars could reach me.

I stepped foot into a forest,
And all the trees looked at me.
I tried to run away from it,
But there was nowhere to be.

And the ground below me faded.
And stared did the trees.
And I slowly became engulfed,
Their stare pierced straight through me

The ground was redly painted,
Stil staring was the trees.
Their leaves were deeply stained,
By the blood of what was me.

For a tragedy happened,
A ****** of my own self.
Of which I am the culprit,
And the victim as well.

I didn't want to study,
Nor did I want to play,
I just sat motionlessly,
For it was a long day.

I didn't want to get up,
Nor did I want to lie down.
I fell like I am breathless,
I'm drowning in the crowd.

People of all the ages,
People that don't even care,
Won't judge what's in my pages,
Why the hell am i so scared?

And I'm hugged by the dark,
Who invited me to stay.
And I snapped out of bed,
It's gonna be a long day.

End of December,
Comes without a word.
With or without her,
Unchanged is the world.

Dove too deep in life,
Too deep in her eyes.
Been too lost in time.
Too lost to realise.

That the blazing cold,
And the freezing sun,
Makes me feel old not,
Makes me feel but none.

And the new year comes,
Like every other.
And this year is done,
Why do I bother?

And he ponders
Day and night
About the meaning of life

Is it to chase happiness?
Study well, become a doctor,
Marry the woman of your dreams?
To care for your very own daughter,
And sow the next set of seeds?

Is it to fulfill your desires?
Sail the roaring seas, conquer every peaks,
Drive the world on your very own tires?
To find the peace you've always seeked,
What more could one man aspire?

Maybe the path is carved already,
Or maybe it isn't.
He has no way to know, really,
Other than to just keep livin'.

Maybe one day he'll find out,
Or maybe he'll never.
Maybe, that's the beauty,
Of forever.

Every time we walked past each other,
My eyes would trade glances with hers.
"What are the chances?" I'd wonder,
Each time, it ends the way it occurs.

I acted like I didn't notice,
And so did you.
But inside I dreamt of moments,
Of us—do you?

For you and I are no longer,
Like rivers flowing to the same sea.
But I won't go against the currents,
And blame the tide for leaving me.

Growing by the hour,
Smelling like heaven came true.
Love is like a flower,
Flowers I'd give to you.

But I loved a flower so much,
I forgot to care for my own.
Dreamed about its perfect petals,
While mine rotted all alone.

Stared up at the celling,
And then down at my phone.
Don't know what I'm feeling,
Guess it's better than none.

And yes, I am happy,
No, I'm not alone.
Academic achiever,
That's for what I'm known.

But why, then, do I feel,
So pointless inside?
Like a single ember,
In the vastness of skies?

Stared out the window,
And then up at the sky.
Can't see what's up there,
Guess I'm losing my mind.

Some nights, the stars feel closer,
Than the people in your life.
Nights in which I lie under,
Neither people nor their eyes.

Some nights, the moon feels dimmer,
Than the night in which she lies,
When people feel as distant,
As the stars that light the sky.

Some nights, I find myself reaching,
In the darkness, to the stars.
Some nights, I lie wondering,
Why they're close, yet so far.

staring

aimlessly

into the void.



wonder

what could be

in the shadows?



nothing

everything

all that he wants?



maybe

possibly

he needs to know.



it's so

inviting

can he resist?



oh no,

it's got him,

he won't fight back.



drifting

out into

forever dark...



drifting

out into

oblivion.