Had a home, left when it caught ablaze
shed a tear of disbelief when I came back
to see ashes animate
the place where my heart did lay
distorted pixilation of a familiar face
best response is a blank stare when where you’ve grown to belong
is a pile of unidentifiable mess

Had a home, and maybe it was a mistake
that I left the stove top on
and the kerosene lamp next to a box of road flares
perhaps I shouldn’t have flooded the place with gasoline
or, maybe it would have been wise
if you had struck the match for your vanilla scent candle
somewhere else
No, I'd never wish for that

Two roses, once separate, did grow together,
Only to disentangle
for they lost sight of the sun,
their nourishment
transfixed on the stars,
their purpose did shine
but proved too bright
blind, they forgot to feed.

Sought to flourish,
it was to be done alone
or in the company of others
to find out what they saw in the stars
to shape their path
to carve their way
and as they did they found themselves
once more at each other’s door.

What happened next has yet to be wrote
then again, they never did know

It’s not about the money
it’s not unusual
it’s not over
it’s not a tumour

it’s not easy
it’s not easy being green
it’s not easy being me
it’s not enough

neverwinter
never let me go
never say never
never back down

fix dead pixel
fix drywall
fix design
fix dripping faucet

find me spot
find me
find me guilty
find me love

why are flamingos pink
why are people gay
why are flatworms flat
why are we here

why is the sky blue
why stop now
why am I so tired
why do cats purr

then I got high
then I learned French
then I saw her face
then I got bronchitis

what is quinoa
what is love
what is the fiscal cliff
what is dubstep

glimmering hysteria
plant-crawling walls
thick sentimental syrup
entomb in sticky madness
suspend in sweet relief

cold rain falls incessantly
caught by my cup
and the ridge of my lip
mix with what I’ve got
drink it down in disbelief

the winter did stay
despite the spring
blossoms come forth when beckoned
love skate across my mind
as from a tree falls the leaf

in weather there is no resolve
as when the sun did peak
to send a message that dissolves upon deliverance:
your possession is unfounded
your grip is your grief

rain
blossoms
a taste of honey
from a nest I’ve known intimately
the smile remains; happiness was brief


what I want cannot be;
I’m just glad that you exist outside of memory

Assembling a bouquet of flowers on my path toward home,
an assortment of Hyacinth and Daffodil, Fern and Cherry Blossom
and some other flowery **** that I managed to conjure;
drunk, levee en masse du la fleur.

I felt pity in the bottom of my stomach
as I strode concrete turbulence across the road and
toward the McDonalds.
If I were a chicken it would have been
no wonder why I had
crossed the road
but
since I was a human being
my reasons, experiences, hair colour, blood alcohol content and steel-stomach absenteeism furled into a tightly wound knot-of-motif.

I stood
and stared
waiting to gain momentum.
Peering at the swaying, sobbing mob waiting impatiently
brazenly and vacantly
for their shot at luke-warm burger patty adorned with onion that looks like little baby teeth and cheese so processed it will never melt, I realized that

we both stood in ecstasy.  

And I stood, swaying in the breeze as all good drunkards do, blankly and inquisitively; I began to wonder what it was that I was
witnessing.
Did I want to participate in mindless habitué? spend my money on
**** food that could
hardly be considered as such?
Stand in line, jaw hanging loose like a gorilla that had voluntarily dislocated his mandible so that he didn’t have to chew? wait for my shot at glory?

This is glory: the bars had all closed, and now there was no haven for the drunk ****** to congregate better than the local gut-fill station.



I took one final look at my squandered comrades, brains scrambled, disgusting.



I hate you *******, ******* it I hate you all.

refract |riˈfrakt|*
verb [ trans. ] (usu. be refracted)
(of water, air, or glass) make (a ray of light) change direction when it enters at an angle : the rays of light are refracted by the material of the lens.*


******* ash out of a little cardboard tube- what else would you have me do?
Taxed gasps but not as heavily as my thoughts- it is brought to my attention that,
perhaps I think too much.
and focus too little.
But as I’ve enunciated countless times before
what it is I’m waiting for

Refraction

Would it be wise just to make it happen?

Refraction

Nothing ever came to be by accident

Refraction

Except when the sunlight shone
and the wind did blow
with capricious direction

Refraction

and then a human crawled from the
cosmological wreckage
absolutely ******* random

Refraction

I suppose it’s within my grasp
to change my path
If only I knew where I was headed

Refraction

“Is it true
what they say,”
I asked nobody
in particular

to which
nobody replied

“is it possible to find?”

and still
there is no answer