I'm a deprived person. As a child, I was loved, hugged, squeezed, but as I got older, people stopped. No more do people hug me when they see me, no more do people linger a soothing hand on my shoulder. I am supposed to be independent and strong. But now that nothing touches me, I am uncomfortable when somebody's else's emotions contact my person. Hugs are now awkward and terrifying, pats on the back fill me with anxiety and shame. My lack of contact has made it impossible for me to have friends and love my family. No more do I kiss cheeks, no more do I cuddle my parents. I am unwanted in feeling and uninvited in touch. Physical contact is abnormal, but that's not the way it should be.

There was a time when you raised your hands
all the way to the heavens
And you prayed to me, you yelled to me
You spoke of Aurora
They were following you
Always lurking in the sahdows

I’m just a girl with a black marker and a smart mouth
Writing my wicked thoughts on my ***** walls

I’m just a girl who believes in grace
But doesn’t have any of her own

I’m just a girl who would live longer if she would shut up
My mouth is a train that won’t stop

I’m just a girl with a dream
Look at all of these pages to splash ink and love upon

Greens and blues
Violets and oranges
Browns and yellows
Blacks and reds

These are the colors that bind us
The lies that find us
The screams that haunt us
The voices that love us
The faces that remind us

Oceans and leaves
Lands and winds
Worlds and stars
Doors and arts

These are the elements that bind us
The fires that find us
The shadows that haunt us
The people that love us
The tears that remind us

Pain follows, it swallows, and it leaves behind sorrows.
Drowning but still breathing, still alive.
Before Me
Away
Far away
Long ago
Very long ago
I was beautiful
I was too beautiful

Away
Far away
Long ago
Very long ago
I was loved
I was too loved

Away
Far away
Long ago
Very long ago
I was young
I was too young
This was all before me

The fire inside never seems to leave
It feels like I’m about to burn up, or that I’ll turn someone into ashes
The burning, stinging pain of doom and desire fills my body
For I am the mighty phoenix
For I am the warmth of the sky
For I am the one that will put the world to ashes

Death is a shadow that waits for world *******.
Death only comes when the light is too bright for his dark.
Death brings on pain and darkness.
Death gives us grief, anger, jealousy and ashes.
Death is the voice in your head that never goes away.
Death is a shadow that waits to be defeated.

Life is nothing but an endless cycle of sacrifice. You sacrifice everything that could be done and go for the next.

Death is nothing but an endless cycle of love. You love your family and then you die hopelessly and people love you even more.

Life and death are endless cycles of bliss. You live in a bliss state and you die to go somewhere blissful.