I have a little gift for you

I think I'll suprise you with it, yep thats what I'll do

I have a little gift for you

A few swings and you'll be black and blue

I have a little gift for you

it can crush your skull and some other bones too

I have a little gift for you

if it breaks thats ok, I bought two

I have a little gift for you

but maybe I'll give it to your friends instead of you

I have a little gift for you

it might not be what you wanted but you earned it, isn't that true

I have a little gift for you

once I deliver my suprise this will be finished and we will be through

"I'm all that and a bag of chips"

A simple phrase that escaped her lips

I think she really wanted to believe that it was true

too bad every one else wouldn't believe it too

the bag of chips part was right though

she ate alot of them and boy did it show

Raging animal trying to escape from inside

the type of personality you just can't hide

rowdy, hyper and known to swear

enjoying when people stop to stare

talk loud and dressing loud for more visiblity

make a scene till Im sure every one sees me

Oh yes I am a real attention *****

pay me a little and I'll want some more

As I am witness to the begining fo my own demise

hind sight is 20/20 so there is no real surprise

living fast and hard, I will die fast and hard

started with a full deck and I am down to the last card

did things the way I wanted though I was not always good

living in fast forward I never stopped to think if I should

ask if I have regrets and I'll say that I have none

I'd do it all again just because I had so much fun

my enemies are many but my friends are many more

life is complicated but worth the time to explore

when my eyes begin to close as I have no more life to spend

there will be a grin on my face knowing it's the begining of the end

I took a long look at us and you know what I could see

all the love I have for you and the cold hard fact that you will never love me

the hours spent comming up with the words, so many I had rehearsed

what I want to say sounds different now that my feelings have been dispersed

in the past I made myself available when ever you would call

I'd come to you, it never matter where you were at all

I am afraid I will no longer be able to satisfy your every primal urge

no longer can I remain your ****** binge and purge

In the darkness I feel the cool comforting embrace

the reality is I invited the demons that I chase

over grown with the thoughts of days gone by

the dove of peace can no longer fly

the moon beams have become my sun

all good things left undone

living just to live another day

all the dreams I had, now given away

on my face a smirk apears

amidst the lines from all these years

I worked hard to get where I am at

no suprise I feel like a tire gone flat

I will always be the awful taste that never leaves

the lurking doubt that confuses and decieves

you know me all to well and it's not by coincidents

I am your lack of self confidence

it seems as though life is always full of surprises

love comes to us in many forms and disguises

it may have held the door open for you at the local shopping mall

it may have been the person on the other end of that last phone call

could it be that it has written words of sweetness for you to read

maybe it was the one who wrote you the ticket for excessive speed

the doctor who was listening to your heart when it skipped a beat

some one who moved over in a public place so you would have a seat

could it be the one who fixed your kitchen sink

all these possibilities and you have to stop and think

how many times has love stared you dead in the face

hundreds maybe thousands of times it could have taken place

if we just slowed down to see whats right before our eyes

maybe love wouldn't be such a mystery and it wouldn't take so many tries

Yeah I know you are standing outside my door

the pounding of your fists getting louder and harder to ignore

I hear your finger nails screeching down the window pane

I won't look out the curtains, **** you must be insane

my home phone is ringing off the hook

so many texts on my cell phone I don't even wanna look

the tires of my car slashed and now they're flat

called the cops but they don't know where you're at

my dog's gone missing, this would be a first

if you've gotten a hold of him I fear the worst

I never cheated, told the truth and never lied

worked ******* this relationship, yeah I really tried

I am truly sorry things didn't work out between the two of us

I would glady talk to you but there's nothing left to discuss

I have to tell you if I could change things back I wouldn't make the switch

If I wasn't sure before, I am sure of it now....... you're just a CRAZY *****

in the distance I see you, what a rush

I try to think of something clever to say, my brain has turned to mush

you walk by, my mouth opens but nothing comes out and all I can do is blush

you don't even notice me, just  another crush

in the darkness behind these eyes all the dreams reside

the deepest secrets that have lost a place to hide

stare deeply and you begin to catch a glimpse of things you couldn't see

the passion and the furry mixed with other emotions making up the secret part of me

depending on how strong of soul you own, will decide how the imagages reflect

though they may seem innocent they might be more sinister than you expect

so use great caution when you look into these eyes and the darkness that they hold

it may numb your mind and leave you feeling week and cold

As I seem to age in years as the days pass by

I'm old enough to know true pain but still to young to die

if you want to know me I am very easy to find

just follow the little pieces of my heart I have left behind

time passes so quickly that it often becomes a blurr

all the things I believed were true but was never sure

I have a mind that will welcome you in, it's oh so comforting

my voice can soothe the harshest words, taking away thier sting

arms strong enough to carry you when you're too weak to walk

caring ears that will always listen when you want to talk

eyes that will look upon you with honest loving care

a warm inviting gaze, never a cold blank stare

I do not have all the answers to all the questions, though I wish i was so wise

just know what you see is the real me because I wear no disguise

please be certian I do not hold onto destiny with kid gloves

I except and embrace it tightly, it is one of my greatest loves

lets get it over and just get naked

all this animal lust so overwhelming we just can't take it

you and I know this moment has been a long time in the making

a full asault on all senses and there'll be no faking

the clothes are peeled away and our hearts race

each breath quickens to keep up with the pace

hands let loose to explore and roaming free

touching and feeling places the eyes cannot see

our bodies covered in sweat and full of desire

heat so intense you'd swear the room was on fire

pumping and grinding the two of us have become one

feeding each fantasy and hunger until the rise of the sun

laying spent in a moment of pure bliss

in full realization of what we didn't miss

even though it was just a dream the emotions were so vivid I could feel

every gentle touch seemed to be authentic and very real

the sweet smell of your skin still lingers in my sleepy head

the covers are still warm on your side of the bed

I reach out to feel if you are still there

fumbling around in the dark and finding nothing to my dispair

I know you had to leave before I would find myself awake

but as sure as I will sleep you will return, my heart you would not break

I lay here wide awake now thinking wonderful thoughts of you

all the beautiful dreams I would love to have come true

I wonder when you rest if your dreams they are of me

all the places we might travel and all the things that we would see

Maybe tonight in my dreams I will ask you to stay with me forever

because you know as well as I we belong together

I'm on a mission to forget

everyone that I never met

this might sound confusing at first

feeding my mind won't quench my hearts thirst

tucked away in a box of old photos and a love note

turbulant life rocks the boat

all that I had and ever could use

nothing more to gain, nothing less to lose

flailing around in the open air

reaching out for whats not there

falling off the edge of sanity

in a state of chaos you'll find me

reading this please don't assume it's to you no matter what I say

anything I ever had the faith to believe in has died and gone away

just because I say that I don't need you doesn't mean that I wont need some one to save me

anyone with half a soul will read this and never let it be

leaving me alone to die is worse than having the guts to **** me

it might be all that I deserve but only in time will I see

you'll see what forever feels like with out me no matter what the cost

just letting it go won't satisfy me, I'll teach you about loss

you wanna play games? baby you know I'm in

what are the rules? please tell them before we begin

oh, no rules? ok that seems fair

let me go put my morals on the shelf next to yours over there

so how many points are a lie, cause you know you have a head start

if they gave a lie detector test the spikes would be off the chart

who are the other players in this round?

a co-worker, one of my friends or just someone random you found?

seems you are in the lead having the upper hand

why you wanted to play this game I will never understand

as the game plays out and the finish grows nearer

the haze begins to lift and the real loser becomes much clearer

so you celebrate because you believe you have gotten off scott free

to bad you don't get it the real loser was always you and never me

so you were looking for a thrill

you had a some time to ****

you wanted something real intense

you ran a stick up and down my fence

you jumped back in fear when I rushed up

not ready for the full grown me, expecting the pup

then you laughed as you taunted me from where you felt protected

but I saw the terror in your eyes when I jumped the fence so unexpected

you always thought you could run faster scared than I could mad

that was the worst thought you could have ever had

as I grab hold of you and tear you to bits

you scream for help, your body is convulsing and shaking with fits

it seems you got way more than you bargined for

I am the hound from hell, the dog of war

I used a "magic" marker to write you a love note today

seems when I touched it all the "magic" went away

I saw a falling star that I could wish for you upon

but by the time I made the wish it the star was already gone

I saw a wishing well so I thought I had another chance

when I couldn't find a coin in my pocket seems it fell through the hole in my pants

I bought a "lucky" rabbits foot and thought how could there be such a thing

How "lucky" could this rabbit have been since his foot is on my key ring

I found a four leaf clover but one leaf fell off leaving only three

seems the way my luck is going you will never be with me

the way things are going I really feel like giving up and dying

but no matter how bad things get it's the thought of you keeps me trying

I.magine

L.iving
O.ut
V.ivid
E.motions

Y.ouths
O.verture
U.nrefined

thoughts of you blurr then regenerate

flight of fancy and memories truly dominate

wrapped up in your essence my personal interlude

through the smile on my face happiness will protrude

the reminants of your perfume still lingers in the air

I breathe in deeply and would swear you are still there

as tingles run through my body it's a wonderful sensation

can still hear your voice in my head, such a sweet vibration

although you are no longer right here with me

forever in my mind you will always be

just because I didn't say hello doesn't mean I'm rude

just because my clothes are off doesn't make me ****

just because I wasn't listening doesn't mean I didn't care

just because you didn't see me doesn't mean I wasn't there

just because I yelled doesn't mean I was mad

just because I said I love you doesn't mean your the only love I ever had

just because I can beat you down it doesn't give me the right

just because I came in for a night cap doesn't mean I'd spend the night

just because I can make a promise I don't intend to keep doesn't mean I should

just because I've been bad doesn't mean I can't be good

just because you say you love me doesn't mean I know it

just because I wrote a poem it doesn't mean I'm a poet

Captivate my heart and explore my mind

enjoy all that I have to offer, everything you find

entice my body and electrify my soul

come together with me making the two of us whole

combined we will experience a world we had never known

the uphoric feelings will penetrate our bodies to the bone

I will hold you with strong but gentle hands

you will hold me tight as the universe expands

rising up above the disbelievers and thier pre-concieved notions

our passion will send a tidal wave roaring across the oceans

masters of our universe we will have things our way

no one to stop us like a comet gone astray

these are the days that we were meant to live and not just survive

be a part of it with me and we'll live it like we're alive

I saw you throw some money down the well, I know you wished for more of it

the irony is if you had not made the wish you'd have what you wished for in your pocket

I guess as human beings we are bound to make mistakes

they say" thats the way the cookie crumbles"," it's tough kid but those are the breaks"

caught up in a serious jam and at the end of your rope, I saw you close your eyes to pray

just because all the prayers before went unanswered didn't mean you couldn't get some devine intervention today

creatures of habit we will always be

like little white mice, from the maze will never be free

oh look you found a four leaf clover your luck is turning around

and don't forget that lucky horse shoe you picked up off the ground

seems we spend our days wishing for things we already have or had

we're so pre-occupied with having more we miss the point and thats really sad

I write this out of consideration of you

I promise to never do what the voices tell me to

oh they're always calling, pleading for me to act

all my life dealing with them it's amazing I haven't cracked

it's no easy task

keeping them confined behind sanitys mask

day in, day out, I fight non stop

they are a bunch of criminals and I am the only cop

no I'm just kidding there are no voices only me

DON'T LISTEN HE'S TRYING TO GET FREE

I am just a regular person like all of you

**** IT DON'T BELIEVE WHAT HE'S SAYING IS TRUE

hey, you wanna go for a walk in the park

OH MY GOD, DON'T DO IT! IT'S ALREADY DARK

these guys make me laugh, you wanna have some fun call me

ha, you ego maniac it's always about you and always will be

wish you all would take a flying leap

if you jerks don't mind I am trying to get some sleep

this was written in consideration of you

but you WILL do what WE SAY and there's NOTHING you can do

nothing like the ones on t.v. or the movie screen

or the creepy crawlies you have never seen

not the one in your closet or under your bed

I am the monster alive inside your head

have you ever looked in the mirror and felt it was more than your reflection looking you in the eye

recall the nights when you heard strange things that were so terrifying you wanted to cry

every time you felt something touch your hair

the feeling of spider webs on your face though none were there

the wispers that only you could hear in the dark

the things that attacked you without leaving a mark

in the darkness when you thought you saw something but convinced yourself it couldn't be

every single scary moment you can't explain.......(it was always me)

I have to admit I have an uncontrollable addiction

confessing such a thing took some real conviction

my vice cannot be injected, smoked or snorted up ones nose

it all started with you taking off your clothes

My pulse quickend and senses became hightend

without a second thought I removed my clothes no longer frightend

our bodies become one and time seems to no longer exist

the more of you I have,the less I can resist

our breathing gets fast and beads of sweat appear

living in the moment forgetting all we held dear

no more God or nature and the world begins to quake

collapsed in sweat soaked sheets two bodies twitch and shake

some would say my addiction is just ***, but that just isn't true

my addiction was never just ***....it was always just you

once it was just a wisper that has grown in to a roar

what you believed a window was always the door

the blessing in disguise revealed itself a curse

the poem of life shows its secrets in every verse

hold your breath because its so hard to breathe

deny what you see because you don't want to believe

there is no escape even though you've never been caught

turns out the truth is not what you always thought

bodies waiting for my whips

the taste of leather on your lips

so secure in the ties that bind

darkness enters you from behind

you struggle but it's all an act

part of the alure the primal pact

heart races with anticipation

blindfold helps with concentration

body glistening with sweat

less a slave and more a pet

repeated thrusts about to explode

euphoria, sensory overlaod

all engry left is spent

left in a puddle twisted and bent

you picked me up and brought me home to consume right away

who would've guessed you'd never listen to the things I had to say

swallowing me whole you never gave it a second thought

it's no wonder you started to choke, when in your throat I got caught

you swallowed hard till all of me was inside right and true

tossing and turning all night, how I irritated every part of you

unhappy with the parts of me you could'nt see and are having to digest

maybe leaving me where you found me would have been best

you want me out so bad, should you stick your fingers down your throat so you can hurl

or perhaps a self administered enema, you could give that a whirl

but you decide to see if things will get better on thier own, so you wait

hours later you exponge me and still you're not feeling all that great

look at what I have become after being eaten up by the likes of you

I'll never be the same as I was before no matter what I do

so now you check me out, poking at me with sticks

look a little closer and you'll see my heart it still ticks

I am more than just the bi-product of your selfish greed

I am still good enough for others and maybe just what they need

I can be recycled into something some one would love with all thier heart

everything can be renewed it's never to late for a fresh start

I was driving to work just the other day

this guy was riding my bumber like I was in his way

he decides to pass but almost clips my car as he cuts me off

he hears my horn and flags the ******* to flip me off

I return the gesture and his tail light burst into bright red

slamming on his breaks and tempting fate what a bone head

I hold down my horn to let him know I am thoroughly ****** and had enough

he motions to pull over to the side of the road, he thinks I won't call his bluff

out of my car first and I can hear his big mouth and it is still runnin'

I won't be showing any mercy this ***** has it commin'

my fist meets his face with a loud smack and the blood begins to flow

a few more punches and he lands face down in the snow

now his ribs and my steel toed work boots are being vigorously introduced

it's amazing how from rude behavior so much hostillity is produced

before I go to get in my car to leave and finish out my day

I lean down and look into his ****** face and blackend eyes and I say

"The next time you decide to be an inconsiderate ******* when you drive, remeber this beating and how lucky you are to still be alive!)

With strength and hope I embrace the facts of my existance

all restraints have been removed, no more holding back zero resistance

free to ascend to the higher levels that I have always strived

much sooner than I ever planned here I am, I have arrived

through the lies, misconceptions and conformity I have risen above it all

strong and confident moving forward I am walking tall

free to be who ever I want at any moment if I choose

making up the rules of life as I go, no way I can lose

so if you pass me in the street and I seem out of place

it's because that is where I want to be with a smirk on my face

not because I am better than anyone or better than you

it's that I have realized that I am free to do anything I have ever wanted to

You entered my life one day very unexpected

caught me off my guard and unprotected

like a sliver, in time you found a way to get under my skin

the more I tried to remove you the further you went in

not really painful but an irritation none the less

as the time went by I found I couldn't ignore you I guess

so with a lot of effort and some pain I cut you out of my life for good

and once the wound has healed my life will be back to normal as it should

like the snow flakes that fall from heaven above

each flake is unique just like each time we fall in love

it starts out as something small that gos undetected

while it grows more visible but not enough to be protected

floating on the wind it begins to take its beautiful form

when it reaches you it may go unoticed, or may comsume you like a storm

you can handle it, though making it last will be the true test of your will

with something so delicate and fragil maintianing it takes great care and skill

so when you finally have love so much like a snow flake in the palm of your hand

take the time to inspect and see it for all it's beauty and I think you'll understand

slowly as it melts and fades away from your view

these things were not meant to last  and theres not much we can do

nothing so wonderful will last forever even if we hold on tight

so enjoy the moment no matter if it last weeks, days or just one night

when it comes to work I have been told "work smarter not harder"...

I say "you ever notice people who tell you that work harder than anyone else".


when it comes to money I have been told "one in the hand is worth two in the bush"

I say "I want all three"


when it comes to family and friends I have been told "you can't pick your family"

I say "thats true but I can choose to ignore that fact"


when it comes to enemies I have been told "**** them with kindness"....

well I say "**** them with any method that suits you"

South of Heaven is where I dwell

a place called earth, a sububerb of Hell

born a sinner even as an infant so helpless

babtism washed the sin from my soul and now I'm blessed

been told from the day I could understand that I was made in the image of God

funny thing is everyone who assured me of this fact had never seen him and I find that odd

taught to love, worship and respect the unseen diety

told that his spirit resides in everyone, including me

as I have grown to think on my own I find myself on the fence of what I believe

I cannot disprove his existance but the blind faith it takes to except it is hard to concieve

so here I am south of Heaven available for all demons and angels to see

only in death will I find what truly awaits me

until that time I will struggle with the notion

and hope if there is a God he will understand and forgive me for my lack of devotion

welcome to a spider web of my thoughts

flutter to close my little butterfly and it's likely you'll get caught

so it seems you fluttered right into my waiting hands

before things go any further I will make you aware of my plans

as you struggle maybe you didn't notice that you have been snared

though you didn't see this coming I'm sure you wouldn't have cared

the more you struggle, the more you realize you cant break free

welcome to your new home as you belong to me

two fangs dripping with hunger waiting to peirce your skin

my eyes look you over with anticipation of the sweet wonder that lies within

my words will soothe and blanket you with security

I think you'll find it quite comfortable being here with me

embracing you tighter than the closest lover you ever had

intoxicated by my venom, it feels too good to be bad

rest assured that every part of you will be consumed

forever stored with all the other pretty things I have entomed

Stupid Cupid his arrow didn't stick my heart it tore right through

it left a gaping wound that got infected by the likes of you

it took only seconds for the infection to spread

it moved from my heart to my stomach and head

I cannot think or speak in a normal fashion it feels insane

it is so obvious the infection has crept into my brain

it's in my stomach, it can't escape but it still tries

it doesn't hurt, just feels like I swallowed a dozen live butterflies

this infection of you has affected me more than I realize

the spring in my step, smile on my face and the twinkle in my eyes

when I refer to you as an infection, I want to put your mind at ease

I mean it in the most loving sense because you are my favorite disease

it's all Cupids fault everything turned out this way

next time I see him I'll have to thank him for his arrow gone astray

so I said I'll throw myself away, they're only photos after all

pictured life and into the trash is where I fall

no more will my images be in view

all of this just to suit you

push me back in my chair

kiss my mouth and mess my hair

pull my shirt off so fast it rips

grind your pelvis against mine and bite my lips

hold my hands back and put your naked breast in my face

press your naked chest to mine and feel my heart race.............................................................­.......................(to be continued)

making my way through life in this world

all the hopes and dreams become unfurled

as I leave my mark on all that I touch

never knowing my existance could mean so much

excuse me if I have unknowingly left a mark on you

the many scars, you know I have them too

reaching out for a hand to hold

searching for a little comfort in the world so cold

all is not gloom and dispair

I have glimpsed the happiness here and there

so as I try to find my way

I hope to enjoy your company one fine day

I brandish my ideas and opinions like a loaded gun

shooting off my mouth, freedom of speach and everybody run

voice of freedom sends its wave of panic in the pool of conformity

authority moves in to hide away the truth before anyone can see

though there are those who would try to stop me with great ambition

the bullet proof vest they wear are no match for my ammunition

breaking down the walls and removing all the lies

freeing of the decieved mind, opening of the eyes

even if they lock me up and throw away the key

the opinions and ideas I express will elude them and remain forever free

My thoughts burn into flesh a mind so corrosive

one glance could level all my eyes are explosive

image black as night to match my soul

where a heart once beat is just a hole

toxic venom to make blood burn in every vein

more twisted than a coiled body is my brain

lurking in the shadows, stalking innocent prey

once in my grasp there is nothing gets away

so when you are out and about becareful where you tread

cross paths with me and you will wind up dead

seems we are always stuck inbetween today and tomorrow

time the most valuable thing and we have none to barrow

trying to squeeze everything into the fleeting moments, every minute spent

only to fail, we sit and ponder where the time has went

the future had always seemed so far away

but when I opened my eyes it was clear it had arrived today

so what to do now that the future is finally here

live like theres no tomorrow until I dissapear

I'm a tough nut to crack

so I wouldn't use your teeth

if you peel back the shell you might not like whats underneath

strolling through the store in a chipper mood

I head to the check out line with a basket of food

I get into line and begin to wait

standing there with nothing to do, something I really hate

so checking to make sure I got everything, I look over my list to be sure

I start just looking around  and then I saw....HER

beautiful hair, incredible smile and sparkling eyes

then suddenly she spoke to me, it took me by suprise

she said "hello, how are you" with a rather large grin

I stutter a little but managed a "pretty good, how have you been"

I jokingly blurt out "do you come here often" for lack of something better to say

She laughs and replies back "feels like I'm come here every day"

I still am in shock that this beautiful woman is standing here talking to me

Could this be love? it just might be

my mind races to come up with what to do now

I have to make the next move,  just not sure how

I should ask for her phone number, yes thats what I should do

she says it's "3522"

I reply with "is that your cell or home number"

she say's "sir...that's your total $35.22" could I feel any dumber

I thought I had found true love this very day

but like so many times before it just slipped away

you want some? come get some, that's what I'd say

call it an offer, call it a challenge makes no differance either way

I have held back my fellings for far too long

pushed them into a corner and they have grown strong

no longer in control, now the captive instead of the master

fearfull of the imending havoc they'll bring and the total disaster

you want some come get some....it's their curtain call

if you hang about to see the show it's likely you will fall

like a wild flower sprouting up from the earth

growing ever more beautiful since your date of birth

I hope you realize you are noticed much in this world

all the eyes watching for your gorgeous petals to be unfurled

what an awe inspiring site as you stand dripping drops of rain from a spring shower

I am entrance by you, my glorious wild flower

though you are soft and pretty you can thrive almost anywhere

you are strong enough to bear the roughest storms along with the weather fair

I would love to be the sun shining down on you helping you to grow

embracing you with my rays of warmth because I love you so

your beauty gives insperation for the bees to buzz and the birds to sing

oh my lovely wild flower you are the most increadible thing

how I would love to pluck you from where you are and take you home with me

but I could not hide you away, you are something the world needs to see

when ever life has got me down and I feel I can not carry on for one more hour

I look to you for a bit of joy and happiness, thank you my little wild flower

we the human race are like wingless flies.

we feed off the expiring animal we call earth.

every day we scurry about, consuming, making waste, and reproducing millions of little maggots to take our place when our lives ceace.

we better evolve.

every day we become a little more extinct.

one plus one gets the sum of two

the combination of us both, me and you

putting us together brings more fun and love into the mix

take a million smiles and hugs  multiplied by six

minus the insecurities and self boubt both of us share

divide all the truth out of the lies to show how much we care

all the fractions of life we will convert to a whole

yeilding the highest percentage of true happiness our daily goal

when you figure the formula that makes us together....we

the love and joy will add up so that everyone can see