South of Heaven is where I dwell

a place called earth, a sububerb of Hell

born a sinner even as an infant so helpless

babtism washed the sin from my soul and now I'm blessed

been told from the day I could understand that I was made in the image of God

funny thing is everyone who assured me of this fact had never seen him and I find that odd

taught to love, worship and respect the unseen diety

told that his spirit resides in everyone, including me

as I have grown to think on my own I find myself on the fence of what I believe

I cannot disprove his existance but the blind faith it takes to except it is hard to concieve

so here I am south of Heaven available for all demons and angels to see

only in death will I find what truly awaits me

until that time I will struggle with the notion

and hope if there is a God he will understand and forgive me for my lack of devotion

reading this please don't assume it's to you no matter what I say

anything I ever had the faith to believe in has died and gone away

just because I say that I don't need you doesn't mean that I wont need some one to save me

anyone with half a soul will read this and never let it be

leaving me alone to die is worse than having the guts to **** me

it might be all that I deserve but only in time will I see

you'll see what forever feels like with out me no matter what the cost

just letting it go won't satisfy me, I'll teach you about loss

you picked me up and brought me home to consume right away

who would've guessed you'd never listen to the things I had to say

swallowing me whole you never gave it a second thought

it's no wonder you started to choke, when in your throat I got caught

you swallowed hard till all of me was inside right and true

tossing and turning all night, how I irritated every part of you

unhappy with the parts of me you could'nt see and are having to digest

maybe leaving me where you found me would have been best

you want me out so bad, should you stick your fingers down your throat so you can hurl

or perhaps a self administered enema, you could give that a whirl

but you decide to see if things will get better on thier own, so you wait

hours later you exponge me and still you're not feeling all that great

look at what I have become after being eaten up by the likes of you

I'll never be the same as I was before no matter what I do

so now you check me out, poking at me with sticks

look a little closer and you'll see my heart it still ticks

I am more than just the bi-product of your selfish greed

I am still good enough for others and maybe just what they need

I can be recycled into something some one would love with all thier heart

everything can be renewed it's never to late for a fresh start

I brandish my ideas and opinions like a loaded gun

shooting off my mouth, freedom of speach and everybody run

voice of freedom sends its wave of panic in the pool of conformity

authority moves in to hide away the truth before anyone can see

though there are those who would try to stop me with great ambition

the bullet proof vest they wear are no match for my ammunition

breaking down the walls and removing all the lies

freeing of the decieved mind, opening of the eyes

even if they lock me up and throw away the key

the opinions and ideas I express will elude them and remain forever free

I have to admit I have an uncontrollable addiction

confessing such a thing took some real conviction

my vice cannot be injected, smoked or snorted up ones nose

it all started with you taking off your clothes

My pulse quickend and senses became hightend

without a second thought I removed my clothes no longer frightend

our bodies become one and time seems to no longer exist

the more of you I have,the less I can resist

our breathing gets fast and beads of sweat appear

living in the moment forgetting all we held dear

no more God or nature and the world begins to quake

collapsed in sweat soaked sheets two bodies twitch and shake

some would say my addiction is just ***, but that just isn't true

my addiction was never just ***....it was always just you

In the darkness I feel the cool comforting embrace

the reality is I invited the demons that I chase

over grown with the thoughts of days gone by

the dove of peace can no longer fly

the moon beams have become my sun

all good things left undone

living just to live another day

all the dreams I had, now given away

on my face a smirk apears

amidst the lines from all these years

I worked hard to get where I am at

no suprise I feel like a tire gone flat

I will always be the awful taste that never leaves

the lurking doubt that confuses and decieves

you know me all to well and it's not by coincidents

I am your lack of self confidence

making my way through life in this world

all the hopes and dreams become unfurled

as I leave my mark on all that I touch

never knowing my existance could mean so much

excuse me if I have unknowingly left a mark on you

the many scars, you know I have them too

reaching out for a hand to hold

searching for a little comfort in the world so cold

all is not gloom and dispair

I have glimpsed the happiness here and there

so as I try to find my way

I hope to enjoy your company one fine day