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it shoulda been                               I woulda gone away                           i coulda broken*
easy to let go                                  kept thinking it was                         the promise I gave
to honour what emerges                  pointless to stay                              i chose to honour
and go with the flow                        but I knew it would hurt you            what my heart said
I’ve done it                                      if I chose to walk away                      always forever
a thousand times before                   what you don’t realize                    through good times
But somehow                                    is that                                                 bad times
when it comes to you                        in your hands                                    and the space
spontaneity needs                             i am clay                                         in between them
to be forced                                     you could mold me                           some inner voice
with you                                           into a shape                                       has spoken
things can’t be awry                          or throw me away                            through this choice
everything must be                            I’d keep coming back                             I’ve made
perfect for you                                 again and again                                           today

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
18.09.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
How did you choose to read this? Let me know!
there were those days
when my thoughts
washed upon your shores
freely  for you to pick and choose
and to cherish if you would

but now
the waves have fallen silent
the clams, they stay shut
why would they open?
unloved, unwanted, unheard
they decay

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
   20.12.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
Aditya Bhaskara - Thank you for helping me edit this! :)
online avatars
inkhearts  - joined by a love of rhyme
multi coloured pearls on guitar strings

melodies unraveling
whispered confidences sung aloud
revealing the gifts inside
                                                       glad I am to be the receiver

-Vijayalakshmi Harish
  19.11.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
For Sneha Iyer, a sister who was found and lost (though in my heart she was never missing), and is now found again
For Ammukutty and Mae
For all the women on HP. May the Sisterhood forever swell!
held helplessly in the hyponotic gaze
of the full moon i sway
the sea is the charmer’s flute
i - the drunken snake
mesmerized by this magic

the cold shock of the nightly surf surges
from the tip of my toes to
the peak of my consciousness
i’m lost
and i find myself
all in the same moment

i rise with the swell of the tide
anticipating each breaker
with closed eyes
just feeling the sandy waters swirl
******* away at the ground beneath my feet
i’d gladly fall and be swept away
i’ve let go

i am at peace

there isn’t a better feeling
there isn’t a greater pleasure
there is no where i’d rather be tonight
except with you
on this beach

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
   26.01.2013
   Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
This poem was inspired by a visit to the beach at night. You can see this poem along with a photo  at http://vijyalakshmiharish.tumblr.com/

Soma, in Sanskrit, is both:
(a) an intoxicating drink
(b) the moon, or moon-god
The Wait:
don’t look for love in public spaces
love is shy always
hesitating she comes with flowing grace
to the patient lover
in the end all that is needed
is to look into the mirror –
in the reflection of your eyes
you’ll find her!

The First Smile:
Oh! Say not that this world is mean
do not turn your face away from me!
the lack of a smile in return
was not intended to spurn
but your smile left me so captivated
so caught up and fascinated,
that even as my heart somersaulted,
my lips forgot to smile!

Being Together:
the mist hides my secrets,
of it are born my desires
the arc of the moon expands to contain
every wish of this lovesick heart
the morning but amplifies this-
the sweetness of the night’s embrace
on sleepless pyres were burnt our passions
on winter’s breath our dreams impaled!

Inseparability:*
Love isn’t Love
until one sees
that I am You
and You are Me
so where lies the question
of coming and going
wherever you are
there I shall be!

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
These lambent, sun-kissed roads
are strangers to me today
New and fresh with promise
they lead on as if to say -
walk with us silently
onwards to new dreams
bridge all these myriad distances,
break down these barriers
why must you stay fettered
when you can discover yourself?
is this what the universe has planned
or is it a spell you’ve cast?
that every happiness that heaven has
lies within my grasp?

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
  22.12.2012
Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
Walking to work today felt a little different...I felt more positive, more charged than I have in days. But somehow I'm unable to put that feeling into words. This is the best I could do! :(
i am grateful for our silences                                
thankful- that we can just sit together
comfortable with not talking, no pressure-
no need to think
of intelligent things to say
we can just sit back
and watch the sunlight play
hide and seek with the waves

its nice
how you can listen to my mindvoice
and complete my self-talk
and interrupt my thoughts
and ingest them with yours
like a seed
that breeds and grows and merges
symbiotic with mine own

and if ever we talk
i love how we can stop
midsentence
and then when we meet
after years of separation
pick up exactly where we left off
without missing a beat
get right into it

-Vijayalakshmi Harish
  21.09.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
For those who can understand my silences...
today is one of those days
when i
come unstuck
at the seams of
where i am joined to myself
they split open with a

*pop

pop

pop*

and so there is
a hole nobody knows about
--not one that hurts
but one that is sure to sear
my dreams tonight

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
   26.06.2013
   Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
F                  l            e               e            i               n          g            I              m              a          ­ g            e            s-
mindscapes framed in glass
the world looks fragile, delicately beautiful
drowsy rhythm smells like green chilli fritters
colours stand out amongst our greyness
awake-yet drifting away

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
         24.10.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
don’t you know that it was you
who like the Pied Piper
drew me here to
this cross road where
my ideas collided with you
in a state of bewildered joy
pleasant surprise
in spite of some inherent shyness;
a tendency towards introversion
would not stop
this flow of words
even as the cloak of anonymity
fell apart
like a bee finds the nectar that it is due
Stranger, i found you.

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
    12.02.2013
    Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
A poetic conversation with Kirti and Aditya
even before
we met
i was
your
memory
of
myself

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
12.02.2013
Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
using the ink of experience means
leaning on what is known
building on what has been done before-
but what of those things
that move in the realms of the unknown?

The Inuit’s tongue speaks
A hundred words for snow
as in the midst of it
they live and grow

if that is true
for the words we speak
wouldn’t it also flow
that for the passions we most feel
our inner vocabulary is more?

for sure I’ve known
loss and pain
with morbidity had
a mild flirtation
sadness has been a bedfellow
I’ve played with jealousy
and envied greed
with vanity I often meet
I’ve been intimate with fear
fought with guilt
and broken up with anger

with love I’m best friends
happiness smiles at me
in solitude i am at my best
with mirth and joy
i search for peace
abundance and acceptance
are welcome guests
and enthusiasm brings me
the gift of zest

and so on and so forth
i’ve known them all
for better or for worse
but what of those
i know not yet
far away on some distant shore

i do not even know their names
so clueless as to their identity
can’t put a face to any of them
unaware of their personalities
strangers they are
and so will they be
until someday they find me

the only question that is left to be answered -

will I know them when we meet?

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
01.01.2013
Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
unfeeling
eyes
weary
breath
your
lips
gently
caressing
mine
- all
          the
            p­ain
                         m       e           l              t            s
away

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
   9.12.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
The coffee grows cold on my desk
                                                            ­ (maybe if I leave it there
                                                           ­      long enough, it will
                                                            ­               evaporate).

Brush strokes fill
my mind,
thoughts fill
the canvas
the Vision translates
itself.

                                             ­                                                                 ­                                    You bite your lips
                                                            ­                                                                 ­                            to tease me…
                                                             ­                                                                 ­                    Can red do justice
                                                         ­                                                                 ­                            to the cruelty of
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                          your words?

You stare emotionlessly
into space…
Can blue capture
the coldness in
your eyes?

                                                          ­                   You twist your curls
                                                           ­                        michieviously…
                                                  ­                               Will black signify
                                                         ­                        The darkness of
                                                              ­                       your soul?

                                                          ­                   It is my magnum opus.

- Vijayalakshmi.R.
Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
Inspired by the novel *The Picture of Dorian Gray*
You
tease, excite
entice me surely
promise to melt slowly
eager tongue can’t bear waiting
illicit desire awakens, pulling myself back
you though, stronger one, seductively luring me
you deliciously forbidden serving of chocolate ice cream!

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
I'll never be able to stick to my diet!!! :(
Dawn                      comes                  with            ­   a             mesmerizing         drizzle
Comes                     slowly               tiptoeing         fresh               and                   alive
With                        tiptoeing            lovely    ­         mist-           nostalgic                fire -
A                               fresh               mist-             awakening       deeper               desire
Mesmerizing               and                nostalgic          deeper            my       ­            love
Drizzle                        alive,               fire-                 desire            love               satisfied!

-Vijayalakshmi Harish
  23.09.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2Cti12XBw4
the evening shadows of my psyche
stretch out  towards you
at the days end i await your arrival
when the world begins to stir
toward home or to the tavern
and the evening lamps sing
i seek you out
to walk alongside me
on my quiet path
with gulmohar carpets
and dusky branches
watching over us.
tarry awhile, walk slow
lest the moment flies by too fast
what else is there left to do
but share this nameless bond?

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
   09.01.2013
  Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish,
gently bid the night  goodbye
it nourishes no more
the unblinking stare of the stars
no match for my candlelight
wakefulness is more coveted
as everyone else dozes
pieces of calm snatched away
from a world that eschews it
in silky silver voice i sing
lullabies to the waves
the sand gets between my toes
soft and grainy roses
the wakefulness that comes now
has white metallic motifs
shimmering away
mother of pearl
lights the road
across the ocean

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
  21.11.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
What delightful alchemy this
this metamorphosis of a dream
a condition like an apsiopesis
which assumes I will be back
I inhale the fragrance of this ink
and exhale it as wine
it gives a nice toast
to our love
soaring like a lammergeier
Well in the throes of passion,
it splinters into a flower
the omphalos of which
is a moment awake
beyond rest or relaxation
may we be together forever

_ Vijayalakshmi Harish
   24.11.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
In my last poem, I has asked you'll to gift me words that I could link together into a poem. The poem above is the result of the gifts that were given. The Givers and the gifts are listed below.  I understand that some were not really intended as a "gift", but I' a rather greedy person! :) Thank you for these wonderful gifts and for the inspiration!

David : Delightful!
Mae: fragrance, inhale, exhale, dream, awake, moment, beyond, alchemy
Linda – rest
Sneha – condition
Embers – metamorphosis
the undead faerie girl – passion, apsiopesis
vircapio – omphalos
martin – well
Aditya – wine , love, flower, ink
Shaqila – love, I will be back, lammergeier, together forever
Jerry – nice
Destiny’s games are stranger than
most games invented by man
and Draupadi’s swayamvara is for sure
amongst the strangest tales ever told

A truly blazing beauty is she,
a princess like no other
a rare fiery spirit has she
This daughter of Agni

The drums announce the happy news
today she shall choose
from amongst this gathering of kings
the one who she shall espouse

a prophecy has already foretold
that she is to be Arjuna’s bride
the swayamvara is but a test to tempt
that expert archer out from where he hides

every king from every land
is here to attempt
to win her hand
but no sign of the one she wants

but the contest has been announced
and hence must be begun
a test truly fit to try
the Gods themselves

on the ceiling
a revolving platform
on the platform
a jewel studded fish

on the floor a vat of oil
lying beside a great bow and shafts
the fish is mirrored
in the oil

the the target lies
in the fish’s ruby red eye
but a challenge fit for kings
cannot be so trouble-free!

The eye, itself, must not be looked upon
its reflection in the oil is the map to strike
not an easy feat to accomplish
only the best dare try this

for the failures
there is ridicule and humiliation
for the winner
this beautiful handmaiden

every eye that sees
looks on amazed
at her -a rare jewel
with some secret fire set ablaze

her eyes hot embers
her hair wisps of flame
Krishnaa-the dark skinned
like the fiery coal that is by ashes hid

in every heart she rouses
an uncontrollable passion
stunned, they stand as statues
incapable of any action

the desire to win her
is a great motivator
and while all try
none seems worthy

every king that rises
falls unable to bear
the weight of the bow
let alone string and employ it!

then rises Karna
truly a great archer
surely he will win her
says everyone in their mind

but before he even touches
the bow he is stopped
by the beautiful Draupadi
he is humiliated

“who is this false king
who dares to assume that
the high-born Draupadi will condescend
to marry a low-born sutaputra?”


silenced and insulted
Karna resumes his seat
but a desire for retribution
is in his mind-a tiny seed

the one who rises next
is clothed as a Brahmin
but his proud gait and muscled arms
are that of a Kshatriya

respectfully he picks up the bow
strings it with love
with arms upraised and face turned below
he launches the arrow

it strikes the eye
which falls to the ground
the Brahmin has won!
he is garlanded by Draupadi

their eyes meet
in silent acceptance of
their magnetic attraction
a scorching passion

a stunned silence in the hall
and then hell breaks loose
kings rant and princes protest
how can a princess marry a priest

they rise together
up in arms
and are routed
by the Brahmin and his brothers

with the Brahmins Draupadi goes
to their hut-a humble abode
with folded hands they stand outside
as the eldest calls, “Look mother, see what we’ve got!”

a gentle voice replies from within
“whatever be it, share it
amongst yourselves,
it equally belongs to all of you”


“Mother, what have you said
what a dilemma we are in
you-we have never disobeyed
and yet to obey would be a sin!”


The mother comes out and is aghast
at what she has done
her order once given cannot be revoked
by convention

in the midst of all this
turmoil and confusion
Krishna arrives
with his beatific smile

“Dear aunt, I am your brother’s son
your troubled brow betrays
some confusion
can this child offer you some consolation?”


“God bless you my child
I’ve heard your praise
You are wise, so advise
how this quandary can be resolved


with hasty words
i have told my sons
to share this woman
and doomed her to a life of debauchery”


“Do not worry aunt
this isn’t a problem at all
this woman in her past life
has gained a boon of five husbands


the boon was given
by Mahadeva himself
and besides a mother’s order
is always supreme


let all five of your sons
wed Draupadi
in the karmic logic
it isn’t an iniquity


Dear Draupadi listen
these men are none other
than the valourous Pandava brothers
your hand was won by Arjuna

it is your destiny
to be the spouse of all of them
and do not worry
worldly laws are not here applicable”


Hearing this was
a stealthy listener-
Draupadi’s brother
now both overjoyed and dismayed

in confusion
he approaches his father
and apprises him
of the matter

both father and son are
unsure whether to rejoice
that the Pandavas are alive
or curse their loved one’s predicament

plagued by mixed emotions
they are restless
then Vyaasa comes
to their relief

the kind sage shares his wisdom
that the marriage is inevitable
part of the Grand Plan
mortal laws must not interfere

a woman having
more than one man as spouse
isn’t always an immorality
they may fearlessly proceed

and so it is
that the marriage was celebrated
Draupadi became the
accidental polyandrist!

-Vijayalakshmi Harish
23.09.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
Swayamvara: literally “self-marriage”. An ancient custom in which princesses chose their husband, usually through some contest.

Agni: The God of fire. Draupadi is said to have been “gifted” to King Drupada by the God of Fire.  Drupada had performed a sacrifice to Agni for a son, who would defeat Drona and a daughter, fit to be the wife of Arjuna.

Sutaputra: Son of a Charioteer.

Kshatriyas: Caste of kings and warriors.

Brahmin : The priestly class

Here I must put in a disclaimer saying that I am not a believer in the caste system, and see all people as equal! The insult against Karna is a part of the story, not my invention!

Though the title says “accidental polyandrist”, Draupadi’s  polyandry might not have been all that accidental. The legend goes that in her previous birth she had asked Lord Shiva to give her a husband who was kind and an upholder of Dharma, strong, brave and courageous, handsome and intelligent. Lord Shiva said that all these qualities can never be found together in a single man, and hence he would give her five!

This incident from the Mahabharata has been a pet peeve for feminists. The incident has been viewed as reeking of male chauvinism and subjugation of women.

I have always wondered about the silence of Draupadi here. Her character, as I understand her, is that of an assertive woman-one who would not have allowed such a thing to happen to her! In many occasions in the Mahabharata, she speaks without reserve when she sees injustice meted out. Even during her swayamvara, she was quick to chide Karna, who she presumed was unworthy of her. In such a scenario can her silence be construed as acceptance?

Others say of course that her protests were edited out. That she must have spoken against this, but she was silenced.

But why silence her only here? Why not on other occasions where she challenges “masculine” pride and chauvinism?

So many questions..no real answer! Would love if you'll could share your views.

Special thanks to Ammukutty who graciously proof-read this and made some suggestions which were taken with many thanks!
Globules of emotion
scatter
                                                                ­                     scatter
                                                         ­                                                                 ­                             scatter
                                                         ­                slipping thorough space
silvery mercurial drops
                                                           ­                    Perspectives shift
                                                           ­                   Characters change
                                                          ­                   I shed the persona.

                                                       ­                Devoid of the face-paint.
                                                     ­                             The Stage
                                                           ­                      comes alive
                                                           ­                shouts, cheers, claps
                                                           ­                                                                 ­                  and a deadly silence
that
                                                    ­                     tears through the masks
                                                           ­                                      the lights
                                                          ­                                       the actors
                                                          ­                                          and
                   ­                                                                 ­            the audience
It’s a high-
it climbs,
it falls
it takes me
against the flow
                                                            ­                                                                 ­             it’s the play of eternity

-Vijayalakshmi Harish
07/12/2006
Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
over a snow-covered mountain top in heaven
some secret river lies
stirring not earthwards
this river of the Gods

and then a prince disturbs
her peaceful ferocity
with determined prayer to cleanse
the sins of his forefathers

Look she trembles with wounded pride!
Not a mere mortal river is she
a Goddess, her anger awakened
but she must proceed

the Gods have asked her so she shall go
but she makes her displeasure known
threatening to swallow all of existence
she follows

the earth shakes
it cannot hold her weight
her power her strength her majestic gait
life-giver, she is now a messenger of death

in her anger she is beautiful,
this world cannot sustain her
only he who wields the trident
can reign in her fall

and then the Mahadev traps her
even as she falls in a mighty torrent
thinking she will sweep him
to the nether regions

in his locks she is lost
struggling, she resembles
the naga around his neck
she spits like a cobra

this immortal river
stays tangled in his locks for many a year
till, defeated and frustrated
she begs forgiveness

and then with his blessings
she trickles down
still furious in pace
but in heart at peace

the mother of all rivers-
this river of rebirth
her sound like thunder
her hair like streaks of lightning

celestial beings witness
the skies are lit
the parched earth satiated
Ganga has descended

as Bhagirathi

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
         03.09.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
The Ganges in Hindu mythology is considered the holiest of holy rivers. She has the status of a Goddess, as she belongs to swarga (roughly translated as heaven). She is considered to be so pure, that bathing in her waters can not only rid one of physical ailments but also cleanse one's sins.
King Bhagiratha (an ancestor of Sri Rama) is credited with bringing her down to earth, as a means of releasing his forefathers from a curse. Ganga, would not descend willingly, but had to do so at the order of the Gods. In her vanity, she fell so furiously that the earth was in danger of being destroyed. Lord Shiva controlled her fall by trapping her in his jata (hair). This poem describes this incident.
squirming
in
his
seat,
searching
within
his
shirt
he
magically
pulls
out
a
butterfly!

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
   21.12.2012
Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
true story
two smiles on either shore,
an ocean of tears lies in between
how does one even swim across-
all i can do is drown!

softly treading water
escaping the shards of lost dreams
sometimes my heart shattered
and there are some that i have broken
there is much kindness that i do not deserve
and yet much kindness is due to me
in this mist of shifting identities
how do i navigate-
all i can do is lose myself!


- Vijayalakshmi Harish
   16.12.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
lost
in
your
mind
maze
i
find -
                   this
                   here
                    is
                   where
                    my
                   happiness
                     ( hides ) !
- Vijayalakshmi Harish
26.12.2012
Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
secrets unravelling in kaleidoscopic visions
turn around and its something different
what was promised and what was given?
but the give and take
doesn’t really matter
as much as what you already had
at the point of inception
where it all began, your personal journey
what you’ve earned is just the return
on that initial investment
of who you are extended out on a limb
when you try and boil it down
to the essence of you
i wonder what you see

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
  01.10.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
~~~                                              The thirteenth day at Kurukshetra
                                                     ­   verily an unfortunate day
                                                      for this is the day a hero falls
                                               the likes of which were never seen again

there he stands on his chariot                                                          ­          but his face is clouded with worry
his armour shooting arrows of  light                                                        ­         mind disturbed by confusion
truly he looks like the son                                                              ­             a David among Goliaths he stands
of the king of the night                                                            ­    a mammoth task on his youthful shoulders
                                                his uncle, the king must be protected
                                                       ­      his father is away
                                             the enemy has planned a tricky strategy
                                   a war formation-which only he knows how to break

                                          The Chakravyuha or Padmavyuha as it is called
                                            in the shape of a circular lotus it is arranged
                                                 a deadly trap like a venus fly-catcher
                                                  dea­th is certain for those who enter
“I know how to enter, he laments                                                          ­      but my lovely mother fell asleep
but of how to escape it  I am unaware                                                      unin­terested in the skills of warfare
my father taught it to my mother                                                           ­             so I learnt only how to enter
when I was in her womb                                                    and of knowledge of the exit I was deprived”

                                                  “Go­ forth bravely”, his uncle says,
                                                          w­e’ll follow you closely
                                                       no one can harm even a hair
                                                    on your head while we are there

                                                          ­  and so Abhimanyu enters
                                                          ­    a hero-true to his name
                                                            ­ with courage in his heart
                                                         and the Lord’s name on his lips
he prays, ‘let me make my father proud today”                                              so rapidly do his arrows fly
like a lion he is fierce, like an eagle swift                                              that they remain unseen to the eye
ten thousand soldiers fall                                                             ­                          only their stabbing tip is felt
under his wrathful gaze                                                             ­             before the receivers keel over and die
                                                             ­   the brave warrior forges on
                                                              ­    unaware of the goings on
                                                        his uncles have been trapped behind
                                                          ­  he’s alone behind the enemy line

                                                           ­      when he realizes the danger        
                                                                ­            its far too late      
                                                            a true warrior does not his fate berate
                                                          ­        bravely onwards he wanders
finding chinks in the enemy’s armour                                                         but treachery raises its ugly head
he is Yama himself incarnate                                                        ­                               alone he battles a crowd
into every heart he strikes a mindless fear                           Karna, Drona, Vrshasena, Salya, Durmashana
claiming lives as he plans an escape                        Duryodhana, Dussasana, Lakshmana, Aswathhaman
                                                           and Kritavarman all surround
                                                        ­scavengers against this lonely lion
                                                         Karna does his bowstrings break
                                                     and Kritavarman leaves him chariotless

                                                    ­           multiple arrows upon him rain
                                                            ­    he is now grievously wounded
                                                         ­          yet unnerved and undaunted
                                                       ­      he rises with sword and shield in hand
he challenges his attackers thus,                                                          come one by one and I shall be glad
“O mighty warriors, this cowardly act                                                              ­       to give you a good fight
does not your stature befit, the laws of war                                        and in this fair combat befitting kings
do not prescribe for many to stand against one                                                        may the best man win”

                                                           ­  but his plea for fairness went unheard
                                                   Karna breaks his shield and Drona cuts his sword
                                                           ­      unarmed and bleeding he employs
                                                         ­       his chariot wheel as a final defense

                                                        ­             but corruption is a cruel master
                                                          ­        that ruled the minds of his attackers
                                                       ­                       together in all injustice
                                                       ­     they smash  the chariot wheel to smithereens
they laugh their wicked laughs                                                           ­        with deceitful swords he is felled
and rejoice at Abhimanyu’s helplessness                                                     ­  but even in death he is dignified
to his honour and their ignominy                                              his only regret is that he shall not live to see
with ruthlessness they strike                                                           ­               his queen, Uttara and his child  
                                                         ­    but as he thinks of his father
                                                          ­    his heart is filled with pride
                                                     “look father”, he screams to the skies
                                                        “y­our son has died a hero’s death”

                                       “against many Maharathis  he has stood his ground
                                               and fulfilled his dharma - he hopes you are proud
                                                          h­is last wish is that you should avenge
                                                   the treason that has driven him to this end”

with these last words                                                            ­                  poor Abhimanyu - his words echoed
he leaves this world                                                            ­                              filling the battlefield with dread
the villains around him dance                                                            ­        his uncles hear his bellowing roars
in a shameful victory celebration                                                      ­      and know that their beloved is dead
                                                       with their mind-numbing sorrow
                                                         comes their unquenchable fear
                                                       how will they let their brother know
                                                          th­at he must light his son’s pyre

                                                           with bloodshot eyes they swear
                                                       that his noble death will be avenged
                                                         and then they fall deeper in sorrow
                                                          ­as the sun sets upon their beloved
his blood mixes with the earth                                                            ­              his death shall be a reminder
as the Gods rain praises above him                                                             that honour comes not with age
“here lies a true champion                                                     but by one’s actions is one’s worth determined
unbeaten and courageous                                                       ­           ascend Abhimanyu to the heavens!”

                                                    Th­e thirteenth day at Kurukshetra
                                                     ­        verily an unfortunate day
                                                            f­or this is the day a hero fell
                                                   the likes of which were never seen again
- Vijayalakshmi Harish
   16.09.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
In the Indian epic Mahabharata, Abhimanyu is the son of the Pandava Arjuna and Subhadra the sister of Lord Krishna. He is thus the nephew of the other four Pandava brothers. Since Karna is also a son of Kunti, he also was a nephew to Karna, one of his murderers. Though Abhimanyu and the other Pandavas were unaware of this fact, Karna was cognizant of the relationship, which is what makes the killing of Abhimanyu a particularly heinous crime.  
He is husband to the Matsya kingdom's princess, Uttarā, who was pregnant with his child Parikshikt at the time of his death.
Abhimanyu is also said to be an incarnation of Varchas, the son of the Moon God.
The Mahabharata records that Karna was instrumental in the killing of Abhimanyu. Karna asks Drona how Abhimanyu can be killed to which Drona replies : "Abhimanyu is young, his prowess is great. His coat of mail is impenetrable. This one's father had been taught by me the method of wearing defensive armour. This subjugator of hostile towns assuredly knoweth the entire science (of wearing armour). With shafts well shot, you can, however, cut off his bow, bow-string, the reins of his steeds, the steeds themselves, and two Parshni charioteers. O mighty bowman, O son of Radha, if competent, do this. Making him turn back from the fight (by this means), strike him then. With his bow in hand he is incapable of being vanquished by the very gods and the Asuras together. If you wish, deprive him of his car, and divest him of his bow".
Abhimanyu was 16 years old at the time of his death. The name Abhimanyu is a Sanskrit word meaning "heroic".
like a whispered prayer
your touch meanders
over my fevered forehead
gentle, yet strong
through my disorientation
and delirium
it’s the only thing
that feels real
and keeps me going
for this, life seems worth living
- Vijayalakshmi Harish
        28.09.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
sdrawkcab lla si ti
semitemos
sgniht  ta kool ot yap t’nseod
eb dluohs yeht yaw eht
ytilibats pu evig  ot nrael
ytiugibma fo ssenteews eht ecarbme
ekil-gurd si rewop sti
sevird ti  sa sessessop ti
shpmuirt taht ssendam a
  tniop noitanimluc eht ta
ytivitaerc fo ecand eht
egru na ;regnuh a si ti
tcepser a sdnammoc taht
lausunu eht ,euqinu eht rof
!ylpmoc ohw esoht staiwa dlrow wen elohw a
-em evig
noitanimreted emos noissap emos
!ylf dna sgniw eht hcterts ot ssengnilliw emos
- em ekam
seil dna sevil taht sselraef a
ytirucesni nwo sti yb detrofmoc

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
27.08.2012
Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
is it possible that
i could love you more than i already do?
can you take my word for it
that it can only grow?
from milestone to milestone
the road gets longer
but i too become stronger
with every push and pull against my will
the speed in my sail swells
driving me farther and farther
all i wish is that the journey be long
hopeful adoration borne upon a wish and a song

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
   07.10.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
~~
                                        a young couple roams these woods
                                             wounded by Kama’s arrows
                                          in each other’s eyes they find solace
                                           the rest of the world does not exist



a heavenly lass Pramadwara is                                                              a­ handsome young sage is Ruru
beautiful eyes, luscious lips                                                            s­trong and virile, though not a prince
slender waist, wide hips                                                             ­                        face bathed in benign light
every inch an apsara’s offspring                                                        ­   the result of his spiritual penance
Ruru’s heart is in her possession                                                   Pramadwara, that divine beauty is his

                                                            ­        lost in each other
                                                          t­hey roam these woody lanes
                                                    unaware­, uncaring of anything else
                                                   of love’s sweet wine they drink deep
                                                the more they drink, the  more unsatiated


and then fate rolls its dice
tragedy strikes!
Pramadwara’s unseeing eyes
find a serpent underfoot-it bites!
throes of passion turn into throes of death
in her lover’s arms she slowly dies
                                                            ­                                                      broken-hear­ted, wounded of spirit
                                                          ­                                                     anger seething within, Ruru mourns
                                                          ­                                             “my love’s sweet journey is not finished
                                                        ­                                       too young, too beautiful, too full of life to die
                                                             ­                                                                 ­ my Pramadwara must live!
                                                           ­                                                       and if she can’t, then I shall follow
                                                          ­                                                          this world is nothing without her
                                                             ­                                                                it is uninspiring and bitter”

saying so he prepares to die
till a voice from heaven arrests him
“Ruru do not mourn your lover
her time had come, you are no mere mortal
a sage you are, with spiritual knowledge
you need not be taught, what is written is written
time cannot be turned back, so leave this foolish path
accept that she is gone, turn back!”

                                                         ­                                 “what do you celestials know of love and hurt
                                                            ­                                                  you who neither live, nor love or die
                                                             ­                                  you exist unaware of love’s magnificent spell
                                                           ­                                           its pleasant charms and beautiful bylanes
                                                         ­                                                 and certainly you knew not my darling
                                                         ­                                               or of our love, so pure, so full of longing
                                                         ­                 that now remains unfulfilled, like a cruel broken promise
                                                         ­                        without each other I cannot live, nor can she truly die
                                                             ­           her soul shall never find peace until I join her or otherwise
                                                       ­                                                                 ­                      she returns alive”

back and forth they argue
each one unyielding and stubborn
but in the war between love and logic
love is triumphant here
a deal is struck, destiny is forced to yield
under love’s incredible power
                                                           ­                        “Ruru you are adamant, you refuse to compromise
                                                      ­                                                              so you shall have your lover’s life
                                                            ­                                                                 ­    in exchange for a sacrifice
                                                       ­                                         half your destined lifetime you shall give her
                                                             ­                                                           so neither of you shall live long
                                                            ­                                             but while you live you shall be together
                                                        ­                                        if this is acceptable, use your spiritual power
                                                           ­                                                   to make the exchange, but remember
                                                        ­                                                      your life will be that much shorter”

but what is eternal life without love  
so in a trice the exchange is made
from her deathly slumber Pramadwara awakes
to Ruru’s eager, enthusiastic embrace
tears of reunion mingled with pleasure
eyes looking forward to
a life and a death-eternally together

                                                    ­a young couple roams these woods
                                                           ­ wounded by Kama’s arrows
                                                        in­ each other’s eyes they find solace
                                                        th­e rest of the world does not exist


-Vijayalakshmi Harish
  02.10.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
Kama : The God of Love
Apsara : Celestial Dancers
frantically
  holding
back
  the
last
black
thread –
vanishing
cloaked
   dream
     looks
   back
promising
nothing

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
    24.10.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
our
language
silently
reflected
                                                      ­                   (without)
                                                       ­                ?answers?
framed
by
shy
eyelashes
                               ­                                                       …asking…
//permission…
to
desire

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
  20.12.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
The mystic said:
Stop distinguishing
the real from the unreal.

Life and Death are one
and the same illusion.

Some insane instinct drives me
to sleep on a bed of nails

The blood mixes with water,
The flesh disintegrates to dust.

And all of this is
One magnificent Dream.

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
its annoying
that you left without saying goodbye
without as much as a wave in my direction
it feels like an incomplete conversation
as if I’m talking to myself
without a reply!

i open the door
every five minutes
keep expecting to see you on the doorstep
it just doesn’t feel
like you’re missing
you’ve always left things lacking

checking my mail has become an obsession
i'm waiting for a reply
sitting next to my phone
hoping it will sing
can’t concentrate much on anything else
got to figure out why you left

it doesn’t feel like a broken heart
how could it be
when I’m in denial
but there is this
almost physical sting
that holds me captive night and day
-Vijayalakshmi Harish
03.09.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
I read this quote today that I really liked - "The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained". Tried turning it into a poem.
blood red
dancing peacock
adorns right
                                                           ­                                                                 ­                    dholak and  shehnai
                                                    ­                                                                 ­                              play rhythmically
                                                    ­                                                                 ­                                                     on left    
                                                        ­                       hennaed hands
                                                           ­                           rekindle
                                                                ­              my  bridal memories
stolen glances
of dream-filled eyes
the anticipation of a new life
                                                            ­                                                                 ­     mingled with apprehension
                                                    ­                                                                 ­                                        at straying off
                                                             ­                                                                 ­                              familiar roads
                                                        ­faith tied everything together
                                                       and coloured my hands today


- Vijayalakshmi Harish
   14.10.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
dholak and shehnai are traditional Indian musical instruments.
The echo of centuries-
screams of a tortured mind
reverberate through the souls
of a thousand lives.

The sitar strings vibrate
the ecstatic harmony beckons
life surging though them.

In assertion of existence
the sounds drip slowly through
seeping into the pores
of a clairvoyant history.

And the ghosts in the walls
polish their stifled voices
to speak their stories

Memories ooze through cracks
and are trapped in cobwebs.
Truth hides in dark corners
and seeks hellish deliverance.

Vijayalakshmi.R.
12/11/06

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
Happy Halloween!
This an old, old poem, written by me in 2006.
Some roads
are made to get lost in
this was one
it invited us
to wander blankly
without an agenda, without a destination
just following its undulating shady guidance
to nowhere in particular
to just walk on endlessly
sometimes noiselessly
sometimes talking nineteen to the dozen
but always moving
deeper and deeper
further along its contours

it haunts my dreams yet
it surfaces as a desire from the depths of my unconscious

this road,
and
that walk
when we got lost

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
   18.01.2013
    Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
If you'd like to, you can see the photo of the road at : http://vijyalakshmiharish.tumblr.com/
dehydrated yearnings
for peace
something always stirs
like a cobra
hissing its burning blue venom

outwards towards the sails
through multiple voyages
of my mind

it docks in unknown ports
and knows not where to go
eternally searching
not aware to what to find

t i r e d l y racing
forward to some anonymous goal
losing juice but refueling
from some mysterious fount
within myself.

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
1.09.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
what is this thing
that resides in our silences
threatening to reveal all
in that brief fearful moment
before the curtain falls?
a monstrous beast be it
like the one that the Grimms described
gentle in its grotesquness
it leaves its trace behind.
this paradoxical distance
becomes longer with each word spoken
like a mobius strip
twisted within itself
it leaves me craving for closure
Schrödinger’s cat I am
neither built nor broken

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
        14.12.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
What I heard - and then saw through the mind's eye.

Aditya Bhaskara - Thank you for the spark :)
i sometimes think the thunder is the sky raging
                                             for some unrequited passion
                                                      the­ li
                                                              ­      gh
                                                        ­  tn
                                                            ­          in
                                                    ­        g
is its showing
the gashes in its heart
                                                           ­                                                                 ­     bright shining silvery blood
                                                           ­                                               splattered across for all and sundry to see
but for no one to understand and feel
an ache unrecognized must be
so much heavier a cross to bear
                                                            ­                                                        with no one to nurse or heal or care
                                                            ­                                                              the­ sky must be lonely up there
all it can do is roar and thunder
acting out its anger
                                                   the moon and the stars just stare on
                                                    unblinking­ sentries keeping watch
                                                           ­        from too far

and when I think like that I feel my worries slip away
no longer afraid of the thunder and lightning
its just a poor hurt boy
crying his heart away

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
   15.09.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
When I felt like nobody cared, YOU were there,
Soothing the wounds in my heart…

When I felt life was not worth it, YOU came around,
And proved the opposite…

When no one knew my worth, YOU showed me,
How much I meant to you…

When I had issues, YOU supported me,
Showing me how much I need you…

Now, when I look back, I have no regrets,
Because to know YOU is to know LOVE

Harish Natarajan
12.01.2013
Copyright © Harish Natarajan
This poem was written by my husband :) This is what he has to say about this poem :
"Wrote this poem in Hindi in the year 2001 during my B.Tech years..but left writing after that due to work load...but I think the DNA is still there :-)....Dedicated to all the lovely women out there...including my woman :-)"
tragedy has always been the litmus test of our humanity*

-Vijayalakshmi Harish
04.10.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
my heart is a many scarred plain
each tells its own tale
of misplaced trust and wanting to be loved
misunderstandings and betrayal,
many vengeful weeds watered with teary rain
deep craters with pools of blood
which had stopped hurting
only existing as reminders
that just one more might be enough
for the whole thing to just break apart
but i never did believe that lie
i wore each **** with pride
it took a while to realize
that loving me was nobody’s job but mine
but once that came, along came peace
now only the silt of experience remains
after forgiveness washed away my pain

-Vijayalakshmi Harish
  05.10.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
"It's not your job to like me - it's mine" - Byron Katie
Off the beaten track
along that deep unknown path
i found your music
which flows free within me now
and as we dance together
the night grows longer

- Vijayalakshmi Harish

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
"She dwelt among the untrodden ways
            Beside the springs of Dove,"
- William Wordsworth
Would you stop for a minute
and lie down by my side,
look up at the stars with me
beneath this blue night sky?

Would you tell me your story
your secrets and your fears
and trust me to keep them safely
as we peel away the layers?

Would you take me as I am
hurts and tears and all?
and seal each scar with a kiss
help me stand up when I fall?

Hold my hand and walk with me
I’ll stay forever by your side
hold you when you stumble
lean on you when I’m tired.

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
   13.12.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
Not entirely happy with this one..been working on it since yesterday afternoon. Suggestions for improvement are most welcome! :)
Would you stop for a minute
and lie down by my side,
look up at the stars with me
beneath this blue night sky?

Would you tell me your story
your secrets and your fears
and trust me to keep them safely
as we peel away the layers?

Would you take me as I am
hurts and tears and all?
and seal each scar with a kiss
help me stand up when I fall?

Would you hold my hand and walk with me?
I’ll stay forever by your side
dance together to some private melody
forgetting the passage of time?

Would you believe me when I say
that I’ll catch you when you stumble?
I’ll never let you fall
won’t let our world crumble?

Would you let me
lean on you when I’m tired?
and protect me from harm
so not even death can tear us apart?

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
14.12.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
Thank you - Aditya, Mae, Angel of Profanity, David Alexander Walker & Suri Ben Noah.
Its 11 pm
and you are still at work
i know there is nothing you can do about that
but there are things i wish you would do
like eat a snack in the evening
the fact that you haven’t eaten anything since lunch
worries me immensely
you tell me to have dinner and go to sleep
to not wait up for you
but in your absence food tastes like sawdust
the bed is a cold hard stone
in any case sleep refuses to comfort
my thoughts which throw up numerous questions –
are you hungry? would you have eaten? are you tired?
working late would be making you upset, are you okay?
and so on – i wish i could ignore them, not worry,
and say that you’re an adult and can take care of yourself
but i know from experience my love,
just how well you do not do that

so here i am waiting up for you
at 11 pm
hoping in futility that somehow
my worrying will help

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
  09.01.2013
  Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
Not really a poem-just a rant...
the night has spurned me
the moonlight descends
in a mockery
of tones unheard
voices whisper in my head
they float as comic bubbles
over the sleepy town
your mouth opens
in a yawn and ends
as a chasm into which I fall
the darkness is a refrigerator
freezing everything still
the whiteness of the floor
a jarring ice. I cannot
put my foot down
the silence so heavy
it drags my eyelids

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
02.01.2012
Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
Plath inspired.
in the ***** of the silver waves
grew a single water lily
speckless and spotless
the colour of pure milk
a private bud, it lay unopened
till the night it blossomed
complete, open, a whorl of whiteness!
exquisite in its secluded state
it pondered sadly on its fate
alone –
awash with an awful ache
it looked upwards towards the great black lake
so much similar to its own address
with just one exception that made the biggest difference
like a mirror leading on to a parallel universe
another swirl of bright white flowered
not alone but surrounded
by many young buds!
how wonderful thought the lily
how cheerful that bloom must be
to live thus accompanied by family
so pining it withered
feeling unloved, unwanted
never knowing that from above
the moon watched wailing
“how full of life was that lovely flower
alas! alas! how I loved her!
never could I have the courage to tell her
she - a brightness lit from within
and i a mere rock
with no light of my own”

- Vijayalakshmi Harish
   25.01.2013
   Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish
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