My head is getting dizzy,
It's like a volcano bursting,
I don't know what it is,
I am feeling heavy,
I feel like running away,
I don't feel like talking,
Still there's a child trapped inside me,
Which wants to meet people,
And relive  and cherish those moments again,
How little did we know ?
How little did we care?
How carefree was the world?
When we were only an infant.
Why did we want to grow up?
When even a butterfly would make us feel happy?
Why would we want to trade it and become adults?
Where everything is fake and everyone just hides there inner child,
Not wanting others to know,
That those inner child is still scared,
Still scared to trust because everyone left.
Everyone once left.

He who came into my life,
When my life was a knife,
Cutting me into edges with each it's swipe.

He who came and switched on the lights,
When I grew blind.
He added colors,
And not for one second bothered,
To keep me in his life,
Apart from my dark sides,
He wants to be by my side.

I still fear that I am a bad luck,
I may ruin his life,
Like others said and left,
Maybe the only thing I can do today is,
To write for him.

I won't say this words are exactly what I feel,
But this poem lacks words,
Because some things are better left unspoken.
So here is to my best friend.

He came as an angel,
He is perfect in all his imperfections,
From every angle the world could describe,
I am certain of one thing today itself,
The girl who will marry him,
Will be the happiest.

He may be shy,
And wants to die.
But that idiot doesn't realize,
That he is a specialist,
In making people feel alive.

He re-painted my world,
He who has managed to make the broken peices,
Love again.
Who has restored my faith in friendship,
Who has made the broken girl feel that the world isn't as bad as it seems.

Some things ends, destiny takes it course,
The darkness fades and lights lit up again.
The light was him,
And I thank god for this.

He may sometimes make her mad,
But she knows that world without him,
Would be bad.
He didn't judge her in the dark battles of her past,
And she hopes their friendship lasts.

He like a true gentleman,
Waved at her and said "I will never leave you"
Which he has managed keep  up with.
And it's time for her to keep her words as well.

Maybe the past will always hurt,
But their ain't going back,
He is my best friend,
And nothing in him lacks.

He is the one who stayed,
When all people did was laid her down,
In hopes and expectations,
He stood by her,
When the fake towns,
Of love and war engulfed her.
He woke her up from her coma of tough times,
And made karma curse itself.

He walked up to her,
The day destiny led her to the harsh reality,
He guided her through it,
And helped her rise.
In this life of hers,
What else would she want?

She would take that bullet first,
He is her soulmate,
And thanks for not being late.
To have saved her,
There is nothing one could say,
Other than you are a true mate.

He who walked in,
Who made her laugh,
Who stood there,
Who cared for her,
Who loved her as a friend,
Who actually made her feel alive,
Who made her realize that there is something to live for,
Who is truly amazing,
And she lacks words to describe,
And thank him for all those helps,
Who didn't bother to stay up and listen to her regular stressful messes,
Her dramatic words and stupid jokes,
Who laughed at her and made fun of her,
But never made her feel sad for who she is.
Just a 'Thankyou' is less for that.

The tears may stream down your face,
When one day you may not find her their by your side,
But remember she will be there,
Waiting for you in heaven,
Watching you,
Watching you with pride,
To see you sparkle through the night.
You are an angel remember?
And you have to keep smiling,
And face the rain.

Sometimes a peice in your heart cracks?
You dont hear it?
neither see it
But water rushes
rushes slowly
Rolling down into the stretch of your dry skin
Some passes through your throat
you gulp the fear
the pain
and you see only darkness
no one around
only you are there
and a stretech of  dark hallway
you cant see an escape      
not even a stream of light visible
Because baby its coming from you.

Every passing  second  i cared about you.
fought with myself .
fought  people who told me you   arent right for me.
fought with my parents.
fought with friends.      

I loved u  .
I loved u more than i could ever loved someone  .
You were one whom i thought would never leave .
someone who would be their till my last breath.
Someone  whom i had given all the power to love i had in myself
the trust the last one,
which i knew many could break
but i trusted u .

And this is what i get in return
broken peices of my heart,
which can neither stick back together to reform
nor start a new life .  
why did you leave me ?

Was i that bad ?
wasnt my love enough ?
And today i see u being absolutely  fine without  me.
while i m crying  in vain,    
while im the one to blame
and suffer.

Is it really my fault to love u   more than enough?  
you said u will be there .
you wont let something happen like this to us.
what happened to us ?
What happened to our promises?
those kisse, those memories,
what made u forget all of it ?
what made u leave me ?

Was our love that weak?
that it vanished quicker
than the stains on my clothes .
You don't  reply to my messages
you said u would come back!
  

But i dont see it happening .
I dont see u loving.
All i see is you moving on,
As i kiss my burial tonight.

The broken girl,
She used to be lively once,
And love the world around her,
She used to sing and bounce,
As if she was a living princess there,

But when she grew up,
She faced the hardest truth of her life,
Her perspective of people loving the way she was changed,
She realized that she wasn't fit for the world,
In the view of everyone she was a big fat dumb ugly headed girl
No one cared how she was inside,
All wanted the ****** beauty,
She loved too much,
forgived to much,
And it always seemed that she hurt too much.

Not even her father thought her to be good,
He never saw how she starved and never even had one glass of water,
He didn't see her dying of her insecurities of being fat.
And he one day said its okay if I dont have you perfoem good,
But I want you to be thin.

It peirced her like a nail,
Forever engraved in her heart,
She would carry her scars to her grave,
She quitely swallowed her tears,
And thought that his father want a beautiful thin little girl as her daughter,
Not her.

She had never said anything about anyone's,
Physical appearances,
Never blamed anyone,
Took all the blame on herself ,
But yet people commented about her face,
Her smile,
How it looked like a rat,
People always criticized her,
And she swallowed it everytime
Thinking it to be her fault.


Not mentioning about her scars,
And how she waited for everyone,
But no one turned up in that storm of hers,
Her friends got ****** at her and left?
Doesn't she has the right to live her own life?
Is physical beauty everything?
Why?
She was broken from inside,
Even tinier than those atoms of chemistry,
Where  bonds were stronger,
She knew she wasn't fit for this world of dogs,
And always questioned god why he had sent her where she can't bear the pain?
Where people even with her beating heart and flesh,
wasn't satisfied,
They wanted her to be the way they want,
To crumble her into ashes,
Where only her essnce of lost  attle would linger.

Sh knew only she can bear that much of pain,
No one can go through it ,
yet she blamed herself for noone loved her ,
No one could help her get up.
Everyone ditched her,
Evem with her walls up high,
She cared too much,
She didnt go close to anyone,
Be it physically or emotionally
But still she was crumbled
And got entangled in the confusion
Of how rude this world was
And wanted to die..
To live since she believed she wasnt worth it.
No one stayed with her not even her friends, her lover her parents.
She was left alone .
Each and everytime.
She was hurt but smiled with that broken smile.

I hope someday you realize,
How much I loved you,
Why all our conversations ended,
The scent of us never lasted.

I loved you .
You loved me .
We were perfect in this world.
I miss you.

I hope someday you come back.
Comeback and take me by my hand
Which is shivering and cold
And say no more pains
No more fights.
All we gonna do is be side to side.

Till yesterday I was his darling,
His angel, His miss perfect,
To whom he could devote his whole life,
Those soft tender touches,
Those silent talks,
Those exchanges of glances like butterflies.

But as days passed storms kept
On breaking on the shores,
And one day my words annoyed him,

My concern made him feel irritated,
Thats when I knew I have to leave
And walk away
With stones and rocks on my heart,
His lies which used to be truths,
I was left wondering
Whether all the things were illusion of mine
Or just another  nail which peirced my heart ..
Telling me to shine,
To let go the pain
The people
The fake world

I left him and he said he didn't care.
I said Im okay
But everyday I want to hear his voice,
See him
But I know I can't.
Because its just too early to go back
Too early to decide
Whether he is worth the pain or not.

I cannot see him cry.
And I hope he is wishing the same,
Because if its meant to be
It wil.

Well, not everone has a mother,
Not everyone has a father,
But im lucky to have both.
And yet have a company of a motherly figure.
Whom I can refer to as a fairy godmother.

My fairy godmother has gone through worse,
She is a perfect example of a strong woman,
Who wants her children to grow into a perfect,
Like every mother,
She has cared too much,
Loved too much,
Worried a little too much
And got hurt too much.

Yet she shines and through her scars you can see the sunshine,
Only she needs to see the shine in her heart,
Her children will do well,
She just needs to let them be,
They will grow into beautiful beings.
And will make her proud.

Things will shape up,
May my fairy godmother be happy,
I may not be near her,
I hope she loves me like her daughter,
And well her daughter is  really sweet,
She will soon love her.
The unconditional love.

The book was lying,
And in its own way it made me die,
I wonder what else this world could do?
The truth that has demolished the world
Is lying just out there.

Why? I shall not ask .
But how? I would prefer .
Have not I been responsible for being too judgemental?
Can a book be so harmful?
Can it ruin us from the deepest hidden corners of our heart?
How could it hold so much of truth in its own small pages ?
The book truly can't be denied.
The truth that has bothered the world.
Cannot  be more perfectly revealed than in it.
Science can never explain why ?
A book is indeed a human's true friend.
One can hear it scream and hurt people through this small pages and show them the truth.
The truth I shall say..
The book says it all.
The truth of the demolished world.
The undying causes and how the world has suffered.

Can you hear us?
The book is crying...
Get up,
pick it up and be brave enough to read it through.

I understand you smell the defeat,
Your pain is  growing faster,
Your fear is crumbling you to death.
The broken dried leaves path is what you are looking for,
The silent walkway is all you wish for.
  
When you loose friends, its not a time to laugh.
The friends who used love being with you.
The friends who understood you.
But now the world is gone.
Its over now.


The whole world seems a constructed jail,
The picture is unclear
Of the future once you dreamt of.
Like a shooting star in the town of happiness you once lived in.

Water steams down as I close my notebook.
The story of the girl that used to fly
The bubbly little girl who used to shine the world.
The rain seems incessant.
Your  head bowed down.
And the dusk follows
Wetting the whole town.

I UNDERSTAND YOU SMELL THE DEFEAT,
Your pain is growing feasting as fast as it can.
Your fear, crumbles you to death.
Your life seems still.

It seems as if you are the shadow.
And the darkness is engulfing you in.
Its like the world is racing.
But your breathes stand still.

Your soul seems deaf,
It has stoppped forever.
Tears disappeared.
You feel your death.
Emotionless.

When you loose friends,its not a time to laugh or smile.
The wole world seems death .
A constructed jail where you are the prisoner dieing for hunger of a ray.


When the dusk falls and the light is gone
The picture seems unclear of an another day.
Of the future you dreamt of,
To be a star.
A  shinning star in the town of happiness.

Water is streaming down.
And it seems incessant.
Your head and shoulder bowed down,
Like a defeated warrior returing home
With tears of loss
And gloomy days follow.

The broken peices which still lingers,
The cracks which peirce through your heart.
Lingers the past.
Till the last.

I feel a sensation of tingling in my heart.
The fear that was locked in me is leaving.
I breathe the fresh air in.

Will this feeling of  change do good to me?
Or will this change make me worse forever?
I don't know how to describe this feeling.
Is it only me ?
Or everybody does feel it?

The change is like a storm,
And it will give me a whole new form.
Which will mark the start of a new begining in my life .

I do believe that the God wants me to face reality,
And live a life full of morality.
The change will either destroy me or create me.
I am like a metal and the god is like a goldsmith.
Moulding me into a beautiful peice of  shining gold.
First making me feel cold.
And then making me bold.

Its one of those days when you know you feel low and that there is sometthing wrong...
Yet you don't know what could be done,
Because friendship is priceless my dear friend.
But when you loose one of your dear friends,
Just because of a small silly joke of yours own..
The world seems worthless...

When all the sorries lose its meaning
When all you know is that you have hurt him..
Alas!Will that person never  that I apologize?
It seems to him that I don't understand the mistake I have made..
But who will tell him that how the fear creeps in and bothers me everyday..

Through day and night,
I hide my tears behind my smile.
Silence is the only word I know
Life is all worthless without you.

My dear friend,
I am sorry.
You know that you have always been very dear to me
I hope you realize that Im truly sorry..

Yours loving,
Sister

The stream of thoughts,
Give us a sensation of excitement,
When you feel those little butterflies
Dancing and tangling,learning to fly

In the land of our own,
We swing on and on
But then I see the hell coming
Destroying the heaven

Did you just say a dream?
Go away it is not your cup of tea
To dream isnt a child's play
You little fool can't you follow the old ordinary footsteps

But ..but no great leader took the same old way..
They all created their own path,
Through their own rough and dark..

Don't you get it ?
There is no space for dreamers out here.

But its my life.
No young little fool society decides your faith.
I don't think you want to die?
In those rough paths you won't survive.

Alas! They decided my faith without a the slightest of hesitation.
My dream got locked ..
Like a bird whose wings were torn
Even before it could learn to fly..
A dream that could be dreamt no more..

A dream that could be dreamt no more..

In the hours of grievance,
My heart is beating
I am trembling,
My hands are cold
A shiver runs down my spine,
As my heart seems to fold itself in

Words seems to be silent,
Will no one hear my loudest scream?
The pain and the ache in my heart seems never to get healed,
I am locked in my own world of despair and saddness..

I cannot find a single soul to trust,
A friend who would hold me tight.
Who will walk with me and lie near me
Who will hear me to death and garnish me in every way
Is there no one to lead me out into the limelight?
Is this a god message to be independent and fly?
Why don't god seems to realize that I need my angel?

Will noone hold my hand and be there for me?
Will no one make me smile and heal me?
Alas, my hopes are fading away
Please my dear angel come right away.
I need you more than the universe does..
In my hours of grievance..
This innocent heart seems to stop.

Failure is it?
Where the light seems unreachable?
And all you do is weep

Little child did you ever ask yourself about what really a failure is?
Why do you dislike the rollercoaster of life?
When all you want is to die.

Its not the failure which breaks you down
It just makes you strive higher
Why dont you take a bow?
Just smile and be a fighter

The battle which you thought has ended
It has just started
So keep your  head up little
Because all we know is that truths are bitter..

Life goes la la la...
The dawn seems to break.
The first ray of light which wil hit me,
Will endeavour me to excellence.

I smell the scent of lavendar,
Where my soul is heard no more.
The hard truth,
Which shall be told no more.

The pain of losing,
And feeling the weak heart crying,
The heart which used to be lively once,
But the memories bounce
Back and forth bringing tears,
The silence that creeps inside day and night with fear.

Saddness fills the air,
The words seems to lose all its meaning,
The life seems meaningless with heart aches lingering.
My body is greiving..
The rain is pouring.
And here I sit on my table,
Trying to collect myself,
Sipping my cup of coffee,
Engulfing the hard truth inside.