Never had a lot.
Just a lot of love and hate
No where to go but to Mary Jane
Never scared to get caught
Never worried because I got her on my side
I'm pretty worthless, not worth very much
I'm not perfect at the least
Gotta lot of love to give but hate is all I receive.

Just sad kids living in a sad world
Happy kids living in a bad world
Polluting the air i breathe
The meat i eat
The city i live in
Cant even run the streets
People dyin out here on a daily
One of these days it could be my brother, my sister, my mother,my dad or me

I read you as you look at me up and down, left to right.
Seeing my anxiety, trembling hands as I kiss you.
Saying I love you with tears in my eyes wishing we never end.
You have no worries, confident smile
Chin up as you walk.
My shoulders relax then tense up as we stop walking
Now I have to say something
Something dumb, something important.
I smile and say what
You always call me beautiful, even though I will never believe it
Thank you is what I always say. I don't want to argue about that
I just want to be alone.
I give you a light hug. No kiss but you kiss me anyways
My music gets louder, my breathing gets shorter
My hands start trembling more
Anxiety consumes me yet again
No surprise it always does
I wish I never got attached.
I wish we never end.

It's like he was a guy in disguise
Lived a secret life when he was high
The look in his eyes made my life seem okay
His gorgeous smile that he had on his face made me feel safe
I love him so ******  but even better when hes sober.
I hope this night never ends with you by my side
Staring into my eyes
While im staring into your soul

I am not you.
I will never be like you.
I will never act like you.
I will never love you.
I will never want you.
I will never be in your life.
No matter how many times you say you love me.
No matter how many times you say you care.
No matter how many times you say you won't hurt me.
I will not let you hurt me.

I'm afraid to say I'm in love with you but I'm afraid that's the truth.

I run through my thoughts again and again.
As I wait in line to complain yet again.
The waiting room is empty and I sit here again.
You call my name and I walk back into this twist turny hallway into your office. You asked how my week was so far and i get quiet.
This is the loudest moment of silence I've ever encountered.
I can hear my heart beating fast and I can hear me swallow hard.
My thoughts are getting louder and louder, shouting at me to just tell you the truth.
Instead I tell you its been good with a fake smile on my face.
You asked about my mom and I change the subject, again.
I asked you if it was wrong to be hit.
I looked down at the floor, listening to you ask the same question over and over again.
Until I burst into tears and say never mind. It doesn't matter, but it does matter because I could've helped myself from a lot of heartache if I would've just told you.
Now I lay here wishing I could go back so I can just complain, again.