Find peace in your chaos
strength in your pain
hope in your despair.

Find beauty in your fear and
light in your darkness.

Find your whole amongst your pieces.

Take me back to shaking hands
sleepless nights
tingling skin
a wild heart.

Take me back to nervous laughter
sneaking glances
catching breath
a flooded mind.

Take me back to muted thoughts
crumpled papers
swallowed words
lost chances.

You are my best kept secret
that I've waited hopelessly to tell.

It's that moment right before I fall asleep;
the seconds that feel like minutes
and the minutes that seem to drag
in between shallow, steady breaths.

That little eternity after my eyes close
and my body settles into stillness.

That slow and silent drift,
hanging in the space between
reality and dreams.

That far away feeling of falling,
heavy but weightless.
Numb.

It's in that dwindling descent, that
infinite moment

that timeless forever

that you
love me.

It came to me in the middle of the night; I slept, trying to exist in a more beautiful place than reality. I often toss and turn, but on this night I remained still. One moment I was gone, hiding away in the corners of my mind that only uncover in the dead of the darkness; then, I was awake. My blood pumped feverishly and the sound of my heartbeat echoed. I watched a story of us play out like my favorite movie on the blank canvas of the ceiling, our love strong enough to set everything around me on fire. The scenes played on and on, and the room burned and burned; I wanted to reach out for you, peel you off of the paint above me and bring you to life in the space next to me under the sheets. You laughed at me, you blew me a kiss, you danced with me in the make-believe memories; you teased and taunted me, out of reach. I felt paralyzed, heavy, numb. If the blaze was real, I would have burned down with the plastered walls.

And then you were gone. You were no longer knotting your fingers through my hair, and we weren't slow dancing to Elvis in nothing but our bare skin. Our movie was over, and the fire was doused; my skin cooled and my muscles came back to life, reminding me of what is real. There was nothing to see but the blackness of the room, nothing to hear but my uneven breathing, and nothing to feel but the burn of salt in the cores of my eyes. It was 3:41am, and all the oceans of the world drained from me.

The rising of the September sun brought a wave of clarity; I rose with it, dressed absentmindedly and willed my body to bring me to the door. Not knowing where I would walk, I stepped out into that golden hue of early morning, and let the cool air drive its way into my skin to revive me. I walked and walked until I found myself at the edge of the sea, the music of the waves playing the most beautiful song. It was there that I found you again, standing beside me at the water. You found my fingertips with yours, leaned close enough that your breath traveled on the surface of my skin. You hesitated for a brief second before you pressed your lips just behind my ear, your kiss leaving the most beloved tattoo. In the spaces between heartbeats, you spoke to me in whispers:

"Believe in me as I believe in you. I will find you where and when our dreams collide."

And with that, you slipped away with the tide.

If you go
I will have to follow,

for I am nothing
if not loved by you.

I watch the flowers wilt,
the vibrancy of the trees dull and
I'm empty.

I feel the chill that comes with the wind,
the earth become hollow and cold and
I'm searching.

I see the daylight fade hastily,
the sky dissolve to gray and
I'm reaching.

You are my endless summer,
my forever found in flushed cheeks and freckled shoulders and
I will love you until we burn out with the sun.

You are the smell of sleep in my hair
and the sounds of morning in the trees.
Wake me like the cool air,
slip under my skin but
stay with me like the dreams I always long to remember.

Stay with me,
eyes open,
forever mine.