It's never going to change.
It's piled so high
Layers on layers
Strata of disorder
and chaos.
A mess of priorities.
Masses scrambling their way up a staircase
--They never seem to see it shift into a slide--
Entropy expanding
exponentially:
Take a look at the demographics
and the statistics.
Swallow your optimism.  Scoff at brighter days.
Wouldn't it be better if it all just . . .

Ended?

I want to write that I want you.
How do I explain that I want you?
Words aren’t going to do--
--Except for those that are whispered
Filled with fitting profanity
Sacred to our ears

I want to cry
Not because I really want to
But when I cry I feel like I’m doing the whole “sadness” thing right
This?
This.
What is this?
I feel sorrow but
No tears rise
There is no catharsis
No resolution
Just stand-still.

Stand still.
And feel your emotions.

I miss
Your lips
Fire but
Ice
For your kisses make me shiver
Dance across my skin
Awaken parts of me I didn't even know I had
How can you know
What I have lived in since birth
Better than I know it myself?
Breathe
Eyes closed and
Simply revel in our other four senses
Do not be afraid
When you make me shake
I didn't know that would happen either
No matter
How many times we repeat this routine
Somehow
There is always something new
Something different
Another level
Place
Sensation
Emotion
Loving you is unlike anything I have experienced.

Draw a bar across my eyes.
I’ll try in vain to block out yours.
I miss the wrinkles in your sheets and pressing my cold feet between yours.
Get up, stupid girl
Get up and get on
Time waits for no one:
Time marches on.
Ah, please, can’t I have a minute?  A moment?  Or several?
I’m not pathetic.  This isn’t the End.
But I want to feel this pain
I want to dwell in misery
I want to wrap myself in emptiness and let Alone seep into my bones
Through my clothes and
Under my skin.
It shalln’t be like this forever --or even more-- for long

I can’t decide which is worse
Sorrow or apathy
I’d tend toward the latter
Because at least with the first, I feel
When indifference comes around
There’s nothing--

They’re getting younger now, you see
The world’s affecting them too soon
They grow up with such fantasy
And then realize it’s really doom.
The truth: it strikes them swift and hard
And down they fall without a sound
Silent tears and great confusion
Empty hearts in souls have drowned.
Their nation’s pride; what does it bring them?
All religion seems a scam
Curse to the sky in bitter anguish
Screams of “curse it,” “*******,” “****”
Sure, they’ll tamper for a while
***** themselves up mentally
But drugs don’t help escape the fact
The world’s a ****** fallacy
And so then, what’s the point of living?
And is life any good at all?
But of course not, they conclude,
And one by one by ten, they fall.
19, 14, 12, 11,
Children now escape the pain
Bring another to this world: why?
Now it’s clearly all in vain.

I wanted you to fall in love with this:
A picture of perfection painted well
Content to be a lovely mask you’d kiss
But through my time with you my image fell---
And did I right away share honest words
That dribbled from my lips pathetically
While fearing scorn and judgment I’d incur
Let my tears drop un-surreptitiously.
But now I had no sleek and stealthy ways;
You tore apart my well-crafted façade
I had not seen the brightness of the days
Twas shrouded by opacity of gauze
I did not like this much, I had delayed
Pursuing individuality
And then, somehow, my deep beliefs were swayed
Perplexed that you’d desire the real Me . . .
And now the front has gone, I’m pleased to make
Acquaintance to my Self for my own sake.