there you were.

i ignored you,

but his arms around you

were so distracting.

i didnt hate you,

i just envied you.

you had what i wanted,

even after all

this time.

his arm around you,

his head tilted down to yours,

his whisper in your ear,

tearing me each time.

you had my moment,

you had my dream.

you had what could have been

my everything.

i hear the voices,

my friends warning me,

reminding me of the pain,

bringing back his words,

so i wont forget that

hes a ****,

yet still i yearn,

still it hurt to watch you,

dancing there,

with him.

you swayed back and forth,

wearing my smile,

and all i could think was

you had my moment,

you had my dream.

you had what could have been

my everything.

The same words…

over and over again,

over and over again,

over and over again,

over and over again,

over and over again,

over and over again,

over and over again,

over and over again,

over and over again,

over and over again,

over an over again…

you get the point.

You *****.

She can talk to you?

She can trust you

or something?

You say it’s ok?

You say you know

anyway?

You know nothing.

venom drips

so sickly sweet

“it wont happen again”

you say

you’re sorry

you didnt mean to hurt

“it wasnt supposed to

come out that way”

as your fangs

pierce flesh

You know,

If you don’t know

What you’re talking about,

Don’t talk.

i was hoping

this time

we’d be close enough.

we felt closer.

i felt like

i could be me.

or closer to me.

but mostly i listened

to you. i listened

to you opening

and just packaged myself

the way you wanted me to be.

im sorry reality was so

disappointing.

i was hoping

our bonds would be stronger

and you wouldnt disappear

again.

A kiss to turn it all around
A kiss to turn me upside down
Yet a kiss to keep my feet on the ground
A kiss to turn it all around

I got lost in the “want-to-bes.”

I got lost,

Forgetting who I am

Because all I could think about

Was how I’d rather be “that girl.”

I can’t be “that girl.”

Whether she is smarter,

Thinner,

Nicer,

Beautiful…

I can never be her,

I can only be me.

So now,

I’m hoping to take on a

Healthier perspective and

Change me

Into a better self

As opposed to deleting me

and copying her

So I can be

“That girl.”

If the world were just

You & I,

I hope to God

We’d never die.