It wasn't supposed to be like this
if you ever said goodbye.
I wasn't supposed to care at all.
I wasn't supposed to cry.

But here I am with tears on my face,
and my stomach all in knots,
wishing you were mine again;
All the pain gone and forgot.

If you saw you how I do
then you would truly see
that there is nothing to change about you
because you are perfect to me.

A million thoughts swirl through my mind.
Some about love I never can find.

There are some I wish to forget.
Thoughts about things I sincerely regret.

Ones about friends both far and near.
Thoughts that renew my most terrible fears.

Some thoughts spread a wide smile on my face,
Especially when I think about leaving this place.

One thought, however, remains in my head.
Not one of sorrow, but of you instead.

Thoughts of our conversations and discussions we’ve had.
And the thought I can’t be with you is driving me mad.

The thought of what was possible and could have been,
But I’ll try to forget, for reality has set in.

Just like sisters
They used to say.
We’d laugh and talk
Everyday.

Said we’d be close as ever
Until the very end.
And for the past 10 years,
We’ve been best friends.

But something’s changing
And that’s not a good thing.
You’re not the same person.
Only sorrow you bring.

I think about the days
We spent laughing as friends;
And the nights spent together
Never wanting the fun to end.

Those days seem gone
And now you’re not here
To help me when I need you most
And you’re at fault for this tear.

You’re not the same friend
That you used to be.
And if you keep on this path,
You’ll have to go without me.

Try to understand
How exactly I feel
About going through with this.
It just seems too real.

Butterflies flutter
Deep within my gut.
I look at you and think
“I must be nuts!”

I get closer to you,
My heart starts to race.
Your arms secure around me.
I am trapped in your embrace.

You start to move,
Faster and faster.
From my mouth escapes a scream.
My mind is a disaster.

You start to slow down.
Now it’s all over.
My thoughts about you:
“THAT’S THE BEST ROLLER COASTER!”

Drip. Drip.
I cry the tears
I normally hide
In a disguise
I wear around others.

A mask to cover
The pain
The tears
So my troubles
Don’t become
Their burden.

All alone
And I might think
How easy I can do it.

Just a few lines
On my never-cut wrists
But I’m too scared.

So as I become social
The mask goes back on
And I seem fine
When only I knew
That’s a lie.

Under your cover
I find a new world
In which I get lost
And see a story unfold.

Page by page.
Line by line.
My imagination soars
Into a world besides mine.

My book, my story,
My wonderful novel,
You set my mind free
To wonder and marvel.

You come in many forms:
Fantasy, fact, and fiction.
Drawing readers in
Feeding their addiction.

You’ve been around for many years
And for many more you’ll stay.
For books tell a story of the mind,
Letting authors express what they can’t say.

Your words flow together
Like water in a stream.
Flow as smooth as glass,
Sometimes heavenly, so it seems.

You speak to me
Though messages you send.
The only bad thing is,
Like always, there’s “The End”.

Fur is white
Like the snow
In which it hides
By crouching low.

Fur is dark
Like summer’s ground.
It stalks its prey
Without a sound.

As the rabbit
Eats green grass,
Up it sneaks
As smooth as glass.

A silent pounce,
Barely a fight.
Now it has
A meal tonight.

Such vicious beauty
Has a price.
A hunter takes aim
As it eats mice.

Unaware
Of another being,
It doesn’t hear
The birds stop singing.

The hunter steps
But breaks a stick.
It looks around;
The tension’s thick.

The hunter smiles.
He’s about to shoot.
Now it sees
The hunter’s boot.

It turns to run
Away from danger,
Away from death
Brought by this stranger.

A shot rings out,
An undecided fate.
Did he hit his target?
Or did he shoot too late?

Here we are
After all these years
After all the laughter
And all the tears.

We’ve been Fresh Meat,
Soph-ies and Ickle Juniors.
But this year we were at the top,
Number 1 Seniors.

But that title’s over.
Now that our real lives begin.
We forever hold the title “Alumni”,
The class of 2010.

It’s the beat of your heart
The feel of your touch
The warmth of your smile
That makes me love you so much.

It’s the light in your eyes
When you look at me
And the truth in your words
When you say you love me.

Not the food you buy
Or the concerts we go to.
Not the things you get me
Or the things you pay for us to do.

It’s what I feel
And see in your eyes
That makes me fall deeper
And know I’ll love you ‘til I die.

My heart was broken.
My heart was sore.
I didn’t want to be me
Or pick myself off the floor.

Whenever I’d think
I couldn’t sink lower,
I was proven wrong
And crushed like a flower.

Just when I thought
I was in the dark forever,
You shined your light into my life
And you hurt me never.

You took my hand
And with it, my heart
And allowed me to have
A fresh, new start.

You’ve shown me nothing
But care that’s true.
And I’ll do my best
To show I really love you.

Are you going to kiss me
As the sun shines bright?
Or when the rain falls down
Or when the moon is out at night?

Are you going to kiss me
When leaves fall from trees?
When flowers bloom in spring
Or during the winter freeze?

Are you going to kiss me
Every single day?
When I come home to you?
Or when I go away?

I want you to kiss me
And I want to kiss you.
I want you to kiss me
When we say “I do”.

I want you to kiss me
When I take my last breath.
And I want you to kiss me
When we meet again after death.

My heart yearns
To hear your voice
In the silence
That surrounds my life.

In a sea of murmurs
Your voice is like a beacon,
Drawing me towards you,
Showing me the way.

When my day is dark
And I think I cannot see,
Simply speaking to me
Ignites a light in my world.

If ever I’m drowning
In a flood of troubles,
Your voice is my lifesaver,
Pulling me to safety.

So soothing to hear
When my emotions are raging.
Instantly calming me
With just a few spoken words.

So speak to me, talk to me,
Take away my fears.
And until the day I die,
Let me take comfort in your voice.

Words as sweet as honey,
Caring and loving,
Spoken from your mouth
Make my heart race
And my spirits soar.

Poetic words
Flowing from your heart
Pouring into mine,
Making me feel loved,
Cared for, and at peace.

These words
Bring tears
To my eyes.

Words as sharp as broken glass,
Cutting and hurting,
Spoken from your mouth
Make my heart sore
And my spirits die.

Harsh words
Flowing from your mind
Pouring into mine,
Making me feel alone,
Abandoned, and in pain.

These words
Bring tears
To my eyes.

When I close my eyes,
My life flashes before me.
Not of what has happened,
But of what has yet to be

I can see it now,
My future, my life.
Someday having kids
And being someone’s wife.

But it’s not just anyone
That I see I’m married to.
I close my eyes and see
Me growing old with you.

I see us in front of family
And we’re exchanging vows.
Both of us indescribably happy;
Together, forever, starting now.

I see our kids laughing,
Playing tag in the yard.
And I see us helping them
When life seems too hard.

The best sight comes last,
The one that never ends.
I see us being together forever
Through life’s twists and bends.

As I open my eyes,
I think I’m still dreaming.
For I’m in your arms.
You give my life meaning.

You look deep into my eyes
As I get lost in yours.
Make my dream a reality
And be mine for a lifetime and more.

You made me think, made me believe,
We’d be together for the rest of our days.

You met her, you loved her, she broke your heart.
Now that you’re back with her, it’s tearing me apart.

I gave you my heart, my everything, and all.
You made me feel important when I felt so small.

You put me through hell, yet I stayed true.
It doesn’t even seem to matter to you.

Through thick and thin, you know I loved you.
You once held my heart, but broke it in two.

You don’t see that she’s messing around.
When she hurts you again, you’ll look like the clown

Because I tried to tell you, I tried to say
That she never loved you in the same way.

You didn’t believe me when I tried to make you see
That between me and her, you should have chosen me.

But I guess that doesn’t matter. I guess you don’t care.
You lied to my face when you said you’d always be there.

As I walk through the halls,
My eyes start to tear.
This school year is so different
Without my lion here.

People and places
Remind me of you.
The way we bonded;
Our love was true.

I walk past your old locker
Where we shared our first kiss.
Where we held one another,
Making memories I’d later miss.

Now you’re gone.
Graduated. Goodbye.
And I’m here to roam the halls
Without you by my side.

But I have to keep going
Back to the place that brings tears.
I’m counting the days and months
Until I’m with my lion for my remaining years.

You’re on my mind every and all night.
I love you with all my strength, all my might.
When I see you, everything else fades from sight.
You took my heavy heart and made it light.

Tell me now, how it can be
Someone like you fall in love with me.
You lit up my dark world, now I can see.
You’ve captured my heart, yet you’ve set it free.

Her name fuels the flickering flame in my chest, causing a raging inferno.

Just her name sends an electrifying bolt of jealousy through my stomach.

He looks at her through the same eyes and he looks at me and I wish otherwise.

Him walking with her releases a selfish growl that begins deep in my soul.

I’m sorry for any pain
I know I have caused you.
I’m sorry for being the one
Who has torn you into two.

I’m sorry for the confusion,
I know it hurts you so.
I’m sorry for being selfish,
For not wanting to let go.

I’m sorry for anything
That has caused you sorrow.
I’m telling you this now
Because you we’re not promised tomorrow.

I’m not sorry, however,
For meeting you, it’s true.
And most of all I’m not sorry
For falling in love with you.

The seconds of my life
Have ticked slowly by.
Many of which have passed
As I sit here and cry.

I don’t cry over death,
A lost loved one, friend or pet.
I don’t cry over mistakes,
A past error or regret.

I cry not because of bullies
Torturing me at school
Or because I got in trouble
For breaking some dumb rule.

I cry instead, not for me
But for one I hold so dear
And when he says those scary things
I silently cry in fear.

I cry when he mentions
The number of times he’s tried
To hurt himself beyond belief
Or times he’s almost died.

It hurts to think about
A world without him here.
And it’s this painful thought
That explains this silent tear.

So as the seconds tick
Ever so slowly by,
The thought of his seconds ending
Is the true reason that I cry.

My heart skips,
My stomach flips,
And breathing changes pace
every time we embrace.

Your hand in mine,
Fingers intertwined.
Our hearts beat as one.
You’re my life. My sun.

Hold me close,
I need my dose
From your hug
For you’re my drug.

In your arms,
Safe from harm.
I can’t ask for more
For I’m forever yours.

A welcoming warmth
Surrounds my body,
Making me eyelids heavy
And hard to keep open.

I start to slip
Into a weird sleep:
Not quite awake.
Not quite asleep.

Your face runs
Through my mind.
Is this a dream?
Or memories?

This awkward slumber
Pulls me deeper in.
But something’s wrong.
I can’t try to wake.

This sleep has taken me
Before I want to go.
I can’t sleep yet.
You’re not here.

But it’s hard to resist
For it seems so peaceful.
And as I finally give in,
I feel your hand in mine.

Your face, your hand,
Your love, your touch
Is exactly what I wanted
For my final memory.

You always hear about
Love at first sight,
Spotting each other in a crowded room
On such a special night.

You never think about
It happening to you,
This fairytale love story
Ever coming true.

But there I was, on a special night
In a crowded room.
Yet somehow you spotted me,
And danced away my gloom.

My own personal fairytale
Coming true before my eyes.
Each moment with you was magical,
Never want to say goodbye.

I didn’t believe in fairytale love stories,
Didn’t think they were true.
And I didn’t believe in Happily Ever Afters
Until I met you.

These words flow from my pen
As tears should from my eyes.
But I find my cheeks dry
For I knew this was coming.

It was going too well
For it to end the way I wanted.
All it is really
Is just history repeated.

I cannot make tears surface,
Even if I try,
That’s the good thing about pessimists:
Your hopes never get too high.

Those words should hurt
More than they do.
But I’m used to that pain,
So I’m not affected like I should be.

Does this make me an alien?
Untouched by an obvious emotion?
I should be sad and hurt,
But no tears come
And my cheeks stay dry.

What is it like to die?
Just apart from
The one you truly love
And you’ll know.

You can’t breathe.
You can’t eat.
You can’t think.
And your heart is so broken,
It refuses to beat.

Being away from you,
The only one I love,
Makes me feel as if I’ve died
Because I’m going through hell without you.

Years from now,
You’ll be in your bed
Next to your wife,
Stroking her head.
And you’ll wish it was me.

She’ll look deep in your eyes
And say “I love you”
And though you say it back,
You know that one thing’s true:
You’ll wish it was me.

You’ll have nights on the town,
Just you and your wife.
The kids back at home
Having the time of her life.
But you’ll wish it was me.

You’ll regret leaving me
And you’ll cry into the night.
She’ll hole you to comfort you,
Trying with all her might,

And you’ll wish it was me.

You make me feel free.
You make me feel alive.
You make me feel wanted,
Like I have a place in this life.

You make me feel happy.
You make me feel loved.
You make me feel blessed,
Like you were sent from above.

You make me feel safe
When you hold me close to you.
And when you’re not around,
That makes me feel blue.

You make me feel
Like none has before.
And it’s because of these feelings
It’s you I truly adore.

If I were to die tonight
Without you by my side,
Would you know that my last breath
Was used to say your name as I died?

Would you know, truly know,
What you mean to me?
Know that I love you so
And in your heart, I’ll always be?

Would you know my last thoughts
Running through my head?
My final thoughts were of you, my love,
So unaware that I am dead.

So if I were to die tonight,
And God forbid I do,
I’d want you to know today
That all I need is you.

If words could be explain it,
The words would be these:
do you know you mean
The world to me?

You make me feel free,
Like high flying birds.
And to explain how I love you,
Actions speak louder than words.

So with every kiss and every hug
That’s shared between us two,
I’ll try to make you see through them
How much I really love you.

Unfortunate events
Tore us apart.
Life was unfair,
Darkening our hearts.

The occasional memory
Would run through my mind.
I decided to search for you,
Not knowing what I would find.

Talking to you,
Things fell into place.
You found me in the dark,
Dried the tears on my face.

I was lost in this world,
Yet you heard me cry out,
And saved me from the wolves
And a life of self-doubt.

Our hearts, once dark,
Now flutter with delight
When we see each other,
Hold each other,
And talk into the night.

I wish I knew
What to do
As I sit at home
And think of you.

You say you love me
And that you care.
And that you wish
I was right there.

I don’t want to think
That this is a lie.
That your words to me
Are an empty sigh.

I still long
To hold you close.
And when I don’t,
I’m a dying rose.

I do not know
What you feel.
But even if yours are fake,
My feelings are real.

So when you tell me,
I trust it is true.
Don’t ever doubt
That I love you.

I’m tired of hurting.
I’m tired of pain.
I’m tired of crying,
Tears falling like rain.

I’m tired of holding
Onto false hope
That something will change.
It’s so hard to cope.

You may think
You don’t regret it now.
But one day you’ll look back
And you’ll say “Wow.

I had someone great,
Who was wonderful and true.
And I messed up big time
When I left you.”

You’ll regret the day
You broke my heart.
You’ll want to take it back
And be my other part.

But you had your chance,
And though now I want you back,
When you’re noticed your mistake,
You’ll see patience is what I lack.

When you want me back,
I’ll be done. I’ll be through.
And you’ll see that you still love me.
But I’ll be over you.

You’ve gone away
Without so much as a goodnight.
Shan’t speak again
Til morn’s first light.

I love you more than life itself.
More than the flower loves the sun.
More than Juliet loved Romeo
Which, even by death, could not be undone.

And when I look into your eyes
I can truly see
This burning love I have for you
Reflecting back at me.

Why is it the petty things
That seem to bother me so?
That make my heart beat uneasily
And make my bad thoughts grow?

Is it because I think
That I’m simply not that much?
That I’m just me, nothing more,
And used for just a crutch?

Is it because I think
Too deeply about these things?
Make mountains out of molehills
And say things I know that sting?

Or is it because of someone
Who made me lose my trust?
Made me think they’re all alike
And being hurt is a must?

Is it because this someone
Made me paranoid and scared
That history will repeat itself
And make the world seem unfair?

But why must one suffer
For that someone’s mistakes?
I shouldn’t hold it against others.
It’s not their fault someone was fake.

I don’t know why these petty things
Make my hope fall.
I just know that this one
Isn’t like that someone at all.

Imagine this,
If you will,
Tall green grass
And rolling hills.

Flowers growing wild
And birds flying free.
Clouds rolling by,
What a sight to see.

A peaceful meadow
So quiet and serene.
Words can barely describe
This breathtaking scene.

This is my escape.

Imagine this,
If you will,
Soft white snow
On your windowsill.

The sun glimmering brightly
On the fresh fallen snow,
From the top of the mountain
To the valley far below.

A majestic image
So beautiful and serene.
Words can barely describe
This breathtaking scene.

This is my escape.

Imagine this,
If you will,
Me in your arms
As time stands still.

Nothing else exists
As I lie here in your arms.
I’m scared of nothing
For I know I’m safe from harm.


My ideal moment,
So perfect and serene.
Words can barely describe
What you mean to me.

You are my escape.

Do you remember
Holding my hand
And kissing my cheek
The first night we met?

Remember the rain
That canceled the game
And me not wanting
To let go when you left?

Do you remember when
You wanted to kiss me?
It was pouring rain
And not doing so is my regret.

Remember our house
We planned our first date?
A house by the sea
With a Siberian Husky.

Do you remember telling me
When we went to the game
That you were in love with me?
I told you I felt the same.

Do you remember us
Planning our lives
When I go to college?
I was so happy.

Remember telling me
You wouldn’t leave me
For anything in the world?
And held me just because?

If you don’t remember,
I sure as hell do.
And because I remember,
I hurt and want to forget.

Want to forget
That you
Once
Loved Me.

Darkness drifts around me.
Fog, dark as night, swallows me whole.
Running is no good.
Screaming, crying, hurting does nothing.
For now, my mind only knows fear.
I’m blind in this darkness,
Unaware of what’s to be,
What will happen if I keep moving forward.
Demons surround me in the fog,
Tormenting me, breaking me.
I scream. I yell. I try pain.
But the demons, the darkness remains.
A point of light bursts for me.
Briefly, the darkness disappears.
I’m running for the light
but it slowly gets further and further away.
Without that light there,
The darkness drifts around me,
Swallowing me whole once more.

I hid them,
Buried them,
Bottled them.

I kept them from showing,
Wore a mask to cover them,
Made them unnoticeable.

They would build
And the bottle would pop
And they’d pour out.

I could control them,
Back into the bottle
Until the top blew again.

But you urged me,
Told me to break the bottle,
Keep them from building.

I shattered the bottle,
Now they roam free
And they’re hard to control.

The bottle,
Un-repairable,
Can’t be used.

I can’t hide them,
Bury them,
Bottle them.

These tears would fall,
Not on my face, like now,
But into the bottle.

My screams,
None could hear,
For those were bottled.

Tears,
Screams,
Emotions….


All were bottled
Until the bottle broke
When you took my hand.

When you are there
And I am here,
My heart aches
And my soul is empty.

Miles apart
From my love,
And I’m all alone,
I feel not like myself.

When you aren’t here
Or I’m not there,
I want to cry,
To be in your arms.

Saying “I miss you”
Just isn’t enough.
I’m not whole
When I’m not with you.

I may sound
Dramatic, pathetic,
But these words
Hold truth from my heart.

Early this morning,
I walked outside
And saw the moon,
Just as bright as it could be.
And it reminded me of you;
Your shining face,
The light you’ve brought into my life.

Later today,
The moon will go away
Only to return later tonight
And shine down once more.
And it reminds me of you.
You go away
Leaving me briefly
But always coming back
Just as bright and loving.

The moon accompanies the sky
Always being there
Even when not seen
And the sky holds the moon high
Not letting anything hurt the moon.

Be my moon and I will be your sky.