When I was just a child I went searching for my world,
one of sunlit days, adventure and beauty left unfurled.
Though these days were made to be the a key to set me free
I couldn’t have foreseen the cost that all of this would be.

As I look back on these memories I hoped to have it all,
I believed that love would listen and come answering my call.
I was certain love would find me as I filled my life with song.
Now I’d turn in all these moments for just the promise to belong.

At Oktoberfest with beer halls and the sound of German songs.
The mix of beer and smells of nuts floating through the noisy throngs.
Climbing  on the Untersberg up on Alpines mystic peaks
and attending cocktail parties with Gemany’s elite.

Climbing falls in Ocho Rios with some old and new found friends,
drinking coffee, eating lobster, and enjoying without end.
Driving through the darkened backroads from a day at Negril’s beach,
in a cab with songs of love and Marley counting down the beat.  

In Cancun lagoons were vivid and alive with swarming life,
seas of sergeant majors, parrotfish, and barracuda thrive.
in the Caymans packs of stingrays had become our closest friends,
as we played among them in  a world where the beauty never ends.

The fireworks over Sydney lit the bicentennial sky
while I look upon that moment now with disbelieving eyes.
Waves from the Prince of England as he sat by princess Di
when I left the land down under, well I felt like I would die.

As I watched the sun go down over Uluru’s gold peak,
and the sun rise over Daintree as we picked our morning feast.
digging oysters off the rocks by Nelligan’s foreshores,
I was certain with my best friend that I couldn’t want for more.

Remembering the ocean as I snorkeled though it brief,
in Queensland off the shore on Australia’s barrier reef.
The beauty in Belize nearly took my breath away,
and it seemed to me that God had made this gorgeous land to play.

Camping in the South Pacific beneath the skies and palms.
In the hills of South Dakota we went panning in the calm.
With the Eiffel tower, Louvre and Twilleries rounding out another day
And the visit to the gardens of Monet just made me cry.

It’s surreal to think of all the things I’ve done throughout this life,
and the blessings that I’ve gotten seem enough to make things right.
But the simplest adventure and the one I longed for most
was a man that I could count on and would love and hold me close.

Seeing you again tears at my heart
ripping at old wounds
gaping with hope and sorrow,
emotion screaming out of me
down my face and out of my arms
that long to hold you again.

Don’t you see the pain?
Can’t you feel this chest
that beats without a heart?  
Haven’t you felt this too?
I bleed more each time I see you
Making me weaker to its numbing intoxication.

Letting go, I must find an ending,
But where to start
when the ending is not defined.

Shimmering light bouncing and playing on liquid beauty.
Undulating blue slips around me like skin.
A pulsing blanket envelopes and surrounds me with brilliance beyond comprehension.
Time is but a memory; this world encompasses all.

Celebrating the palette of color gliding through its hands ,
millions of tiny jewels bob and float as this life takes a breath.
Treasures hide away, unwrapped with a stir,
while teams of blue swarm and dance about in warmth.

Blue green teams with reflected light, glistening as it darts about.
Fans wave to the song of the tide singing with muted tongue.
Surreal and captivating this world of the deep, leaving me wanting more.
Isolated and apart, I return to my monotone world.

Did you find a love to hold through cold and lonely nights?
I did, once upon a fairy tale ago.
He came to me warm and wrapped in tropical winds, singing sweet songs of southern seas, making me believe once more.

Did you find a love to call your own?
Mine was my life, my whole, my all.
He drww me close and filled my life with joy and happiness

Did you find a love that broke your heart?
Mine still limps along shattered, bloodied and bruised, searching for a quiet, still place to heal,
knealing at the foot of promises.

Did you find a love that was so true and believe in love once more?
I've searched and searched my lifetime through and I will search for one so rare, to find a love that's truly mine and find someone who cares!

Falling from love, I’m falling from you
I’ve tumbled to earth and fell to the ground
breaking my heart along love’s way
Lifting myself up to my feet, I live.

My one mistake was in loving you so
I believed in the man, a blind fool’s regret.
How could I have known the child I’d met
Always playing the game.

As I look to the past I’m beginning to see
It was all about you and nothing for me,
I was played like a fool and where were you?
Falling from love and me.

We used to talk long into the night
Sharing our dreams and romance
That’s when we were friends
And hopes were alive and our love still had half a chance

That man I adored can no longer be found
And no longer by my side
So afraid of the place you had found in my heart
You turned back to run and hide

The day you decided to leave me behind
Was the time that I needed you most
For the friendship that took us so far in the past.
Had become no less than a ghost.

I miss the friend that I thought I had held
and adventures along life’s way
But the time has long past for me to go on
And begin to find my own way.

No matter how much I attempt to be heard
You don’t seem to have the time
To listen to things that just have to be said
so I’ve found that you’re no friend of mine.

In the space between twilight and the blues,
I stand searching to find the door,
that will free me from this prison cell
and let me cry no more.

Trying to find the will to leave
or the courage to step outside;
to find the road that leads away
and not just run and hide.

I’m losing hope to find the way
in this maze that life has cast,
So I bury myself beneath my work
and try to forget the past.

But past is past and now is now,
and the future cannot command,
in the space between twilight and blues
where I now am forced to stand.