Sitting in Circular Quay in a bistro on a warm winters day
dreaming while watching the tourists and ships sail by.
As I eat oysters and drink the day in with my wine,
past memories wash over me.

Morning teas, chats, and paper bark trees,
hikes through the bush and walks along the beach.
Watching dolphins play at dawn
and fishing the waters on New South Wales shores.

The Harbor Bridge alight with Bicentennial Fireworks;
a surreal beginning to this adventure.
Wringing every drop from days spent,
finding a new world with each step.

Discovering myself through the wisdom and eyes of you,
maturing, becoming my own.
Like family, you’ve been both mentor and friend,
carrying me through fire and back.

My life was undone as I first saw your shore.
Feeling my heart would break
with our first goodbyes,
unknowing that an permanent bond had been forged.

Tracing back over the years since we met,
I’ve been given more than my share.
Making me ponder how I have been blessed,
to count you as a true friend.

Sunlight streaming through cracks in my heart.
Rembrandt painted tulips breathe color back into my life.
The palette of time brings possibilities of love again
moving in and out of my consciousness.

I’ve made my way to this colored landscape
hoping more than trusting in the future.
Trying to outlive the past, making the most of this time,
living with cracks in my heart.

I once believed in a man strong, beautiful and kind.  
His voice as familiar as his sense of humor.
He took me to gaze at the moon and on trails to see wild spring flowers.
His eyes green and the curves of his face rounded in the morning light.  

With my heart and life, I trusted him.  He held both in his hands.  
Our love was whole and true, so long ago.  
I feel his touch in dreams, caressing me late into the night and holding me closely.  
Soft jazz reminds me of these moments in time.

How could this love have gone so wrong?
I am caught between my love and my anguish.
Could I have been so blind as not to see the signs?  
How could I not have seen him fading into another, tossing me aside like a bloodied soldier in this war on love.

When did he stop believing in me, between the lies?
When did I stop, between the love and the lies?
Is there nothing real… were we ever one?
He is a stranger without a penitent heart and soul.

Can this ever be made right; friends that part in anger,
the us that will never be again.
My angel has become a nightmare of unfinished endings,
and I, still caught between love and lies.

Grains of sand along love’s shores
has called me back to life once more,
Ignited by the memory
of palm trees that float back to me.

With sweetened kisses in the sand
and dances to the Marley band.
Along with gracious friends to share
the best that life could ever bear.

Although now life is not the same
as that I’d known before the pain,
of love tossed out by carelessness
and friendship lost with all the rest

But life will not keep this one down,
I’m ready for another round
of fighting for a love to stay
and hold on for another day.

Now love can play its hand again
and take me to that other land.
Where love is all to which I cling
and with this love the dream it brings.

Of happiness and hearts made whole
created for someone to hold.
I have this promise made to be,
a secret made and kept for me.

So when that music calls to me
at last for freedom just to be.
With grains of sand between my toes
I have at last found me at home.

Waiting for spring to return this winter’s day.
Straining to touch warm breezes of the past.
Caught in this prison of gray and white.
Wishing to break these dark chains that hold me.

Remnants of fall, crumpled like brown paper on the ground.
Straws of pale brown growing up through the snow, ******* it dry.
Seeds and freeze dried fruit lay scattered about under trees.
Bare limbs and stalks drip with liquid glass.

Trees hanging bare, gray in lifelessness.
Winter birds call out, single in their pursuit of leftover meals.
Tracks of animals unknown dot the landscape with patchwork.
Waves of ridges etched in white lead off to nowhere.

Sparse, sun filled days bring brief glimpses of hope.
With the promise of warmth waiting to banish the cold
that holds me to my past and this existence;
waiting for spring to return and thaw this frozen heart.

A lover like an impressionist masterpiece,
stroked with a loving hand and
painted by its master,
dressed in its finest to frame the beauty within.

You, my love, were like that master
painting me to reflect the person you saw inside,  
creating a world for you to hold,
molding me into the ballet of colors that dance in your eyes.

I thought I’d found a summer home
to keep me through my days.
My heart had led me to a place
where sunlight always played.

Instead I found an ice-cold heart
from one that I adored,
for winter camped out in my life
the day you closed that door.

In hindsight I look back and think
how could I’d been so blind?
To see the man who’d stole my heart
was just a state of mind.