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446 · Jul 2017
Das ist freiheit
Joellei Jul 2017
if you've ever
played "airplane"
with a child on carpet
and let them dangle off of your bare feet
you've tasted a corner of heaven where you breathe their
laughter
410 · Jun 2017
This New Life
Joellei Jun 2017
I've been making memories
for us my head
thinking about a future
that hasn't happened  
About someone who isn't there
I've been thinking about you
And the things we could have done
337 · Jun 2017
Routine
Joellei Jun 2017
This is starting to become a routine
Wake up still in a daze, stuck in a day dream
Same room,cold sheets, still haven't actually slept in weeks

Same girl with the old job
Still coping needing to hold on, hold out
Still not fitting in to the right crowd, old life they say

Still never finding the right moment to pray
Joellei Jul 2017
tell the next one
to treat you how you deserve
however that is
271 · Jun 2017
crazy for you
Joellei Jun 2017
I've dedicated monuments in the honor of the way you say my name
and let the skies carve rivers for the way you kiss
I am no goddess but I've become hell bent for worship of the small crook of your nose where my fingers have shaped infinitely
Insane beliefs for the outstretched hands and bending of your fingers around my hands
I have gone mad in the relief of your presence
269 · Jun 2017
He was Clever
Joellei Jun 2017
She says she sees the newest scars
and that he isn't worth it
But he isn't the reason
that I'm counting down the days

Tallying the hours
that I've spent playing house
Trying to find an escape, trying to
Claw myself into the nearest out

She doesn't know the minutes
that I mark while I'm thinking
Or not thinking, depending on
if it's the twenty-fifth

The truth is he isn't here, anymore.
He wouldn't be worth the scarring.
He wouldn't be worth the crying..
But he would be worth the wasted time.
Joellei May 2018
I knew I would
Fall in love with you,
And to me, that is just okay.
Joellei Jul 2017
Why
do you
have to make
it easy to
hate
you
and hard
to say
goodbye?
216 · May 2018
It's lonely in the mornings
Joellei May 2018
How do you make them see exactly what you want?
I ask that you only put me in the know but all I want is you.
212 · May 2018
This isn't the End
Joellei May 2018
I look forward
To falling in love again
194 · Apr 2018
Promises for tomorrow
Joellei Apr 2018
Heartbreak,
Looks a lot like a crushed
2003 Mustang
192 · Apr 2018
The Missing Piece vi
Joellei Apr 2018
Poppy,
This is the name of a gift.
A tiny seed.
Monthly when the same
knocking comes,
Even though I cried the first time I realized it wasn't you I was welcoming, I opened my arms.  
I was so joyous to have a pain that was so close to feeling you again.
Poppy I miss you
176 · Mar 2018
The daughter of love
Joellei Mar 2018
She looks like a monument to all the years we spent trying to be happy,

She sits like the sun, and she probably doesn't expect us to but we stare because she is so bright.

The daughter of love,  looks a lot like the both of us, only she smiles more.

Her laugh sounds like life, like we've planned for her to giggle like windchimes.

Or planned for her to run like summer     or walk like she's tip-toeing so she doesn't wake the grass

The only thing we know is how badly we want you..how much we love you.
176 · Mar 2018
Old soul
Joellei Mar 2018
He makes
Me feel like
Maybe I was born
In the right time after all
176 · Apr 2018
Making Life Matter
Joellei Apr 2018
I think love,
The kind that makes you feel everything, the pain and joy deeply,
Makes us scared to die .
172 · May 2018
Saturday.
Joellei May 2018
I wonder, where
I would be without you-
But I haven't moved.
169 · Apr 2018
The Missing Piece v
Joellei Apr 2018
I wanted to name you,
Something beautiful,
Something strong.
I wanted to give a name
To a life so small
So strong
So beautiful.
I needed to gift
The loss of you with happiness
That you were mine.
167 · Apr 2018
The Missing Piece iii
Joellei Apr 2018
The number 7
Is an unlucky
Number
To carry the
weight that is
No longer mine
To carry
165 · Feb 2018
Tomorrow night
Joellei Feb 2018
I sneak out of the door to
See the sky,
See that sky that's been hidden
From eyes,
These eyes that have been dying to see this guy,
This guy has been waiting under the stars to meet,
To meet the girl that's been waiting for months,
And time moves slowly for those in love.
Especially those in love with stars and guys who make time to meet under the sky.
Cannot wait to see you tomorrow night.
162 · Apr 2018
The Missing Piece ii
Joellei Apr 2018
The morning I was told
I lost you,
I curled into a ball in my bed and cried.
I cried like you should have,
I held myself the way I would have held you.
Now that I do not feel you, I feel empty.
161 · Apr 2018
The Missing Piece
Joellei Apr 2018
How can he understand
The loss of a feeling
He's never felt
152 · Apr 2018
The Missing Piece iv
Joellei Apr 2018
I cry sometimes when
I do not feel you.  
The absence is a pain
In my abdomen all on
It's own.
150 · Mar 2018
9:49 a.m
Joellei Mar 2018
When you were asleep and I was in your arms,
You shook the stars from the sky
As your body trembled.

I took the moon from its place in the heavens,
And let it rest on the foot of
The bed we shared.

I tried to take away gravity so all the weight you held on your chest
Would be lifted from you,
Even in your sleep you seemed troubled.

But all I could do to make you stop shaking was gently kiss all the parts of you I love; your eyes grew peaceful again, your body grew back into mine.

— The End —