I started missing you today
I usually don't miss people because missing people is weird and sad
and I already have enough negativity in my head
when you whisper hello
and make me turn my head
and remind me
Then I get this ticking sound in the back of my head
and I keep telling my feet it's time to turn around
but then I remember
that even if I started walking
I would never find you
and then the itch comes back
and the tick turns into a beat
then I realize its a mix of my heartbeat
and me repeatedly punching the wall or my head
maybe if I could feel that'd clear that part up
and I remember the questions
I needed to ask you about math class
and I remember your little sister
telling me that you had a crush on me
and to keep it a secret
and I remember the swing set we pushed her on
and the only thing I can't remember is
when you told me you loved me
but I know you did
because I told you I loved you too
and I still do love you
and I know I should remember that
above everything else but I don't
and I'm sorry
I'm so sorry for everything
I'm sorry I didn't help you cheat on that test
and I'm sorry I didn't save you a seat at lunch that one time
and I'm sorry I forgot to study with you the other night
and I'm sorry I let you walk home because I was mad at you
and I'm sorry I let that car be the last thing to kiss you

t.w