I feel

someone

tossed

me down

a

neverending

dark

hole

had

doors

lead

to

rooms

de­corated

with

heartbreak

and

dispair

rooms

have

windows

th­ough

*****

from

neglect

of

age

an’

cobbwebs

peeking

thro­ugh

weakened

cracking

broken glass

window

eyes

saw

only

grave

storms

stones

and

rain
­
desolation

oh and

pain

clouds

frown

as

the wind

blows

cold

eyes

see

black and white

The

soul

absorbs

*****

truth

darkened

rooms

reveal
­
emptiness

filled

with

lies

no

space inside

for

another

box

of tears

stacked

floor

to ceiling

why

no stairs

fireplaces

no

longer

hold

flames.

rocking chair

too

weak

for

comfort.

sofa

stuffed

with

screaming

­memories

of

life

before

the push

mirrors cry

for

the

girl

trapped within

rooms

of

dust.

in

the

hole.

I was pushed…..

**** Your tyrarny!

I am passed

trying to understand

what your intentions are,

were,

or

what they would have ever become

with me.
Why did you

choose me

to torment?
What is it about me

that makes you want to

hurt me,

insult me,

belittle me,

and run ruff shot over me, when I am

and have been

the ONLY person who

has ever stood by you

no matter what.

Even so, you treat me like

a piece of trash

that you would just as well wipe your *** with.
You have disrespected me,

my home,

my heart,

and my dreams

of ever

having any kind of life with you.

I have been tormented by you

until

I really just want to be

rid of you and

and anything to do with you,

any memory

of you ever having been in my life!
Your pure unadulterated filthy meanness is

so obnoxious

and heartbreaking, that I frankly,

want nothing more to do with you

ever

anymore!
I just want to be far Away from you!
I pity you!
I really do.
I wish you well,

but I know now

you will never have any kind of  life with me,

Simply because you never wanted that

or me.

So.

it is time

to pick up the pieces of my life

move on

with what I have left of the material things,

and build myself a new life,

with the help of my spiritual belief,

and the faith I have in my own self worth.

you have left me with nothing

but hurtfelt memories

and the realization

that you

never meant to do anything

but hurt and betray my kindness

and to test my faith in what could be.

Now

all I feel is  disgust at my own stupidity,

not to mention

my repeated self destructive actions

and simple hard hardheadedness

when it came to making things work with you.-

-You never cared enough to even try

so

I am

as of right now,

gone, gone, and gone,

out of your reach!
Your mean insults and ignorant gestures

can no longer hurt me, as ..

I don’t care

what

you do

or

say

anymore!

You did to me

what I

would never do to you

You used it to taunt me

You used it as your gauntlet

You annihilate me
Over and over

You cut me constantly
You burn me

Oh what humiliation…

But you could not turn me
And that is why you hate me

It’s that part of me
That you know will never belong to you

It’s that part of me

that you could no longer manipulate

It’s that part of me

you cannot, and will not conquer

…And that
BOTHERS YOU!
………..Boo!

I made it this far without you
Even the time I had with you
You did not commit to me

Our marriage was but a fling for you
Just another thing for you
simply tossed aside
No rules to be applied
No fuss no fight
would come out of me

I was an easy mark
A walk in the park,
An easy mark for you
.
Just as a Jew wore that star on her coat
I wore my pain like a badge on my sleeve
My scars shined so openly

So easy it would be-
-to ***** out the spark I have owned
Since my father gave life to me.

My life with you was like a Holocaust
A burning of my soul.

It was  My strength inside
my inner core of light,
that twinkle in my eyes,

It was that spark you could not ***** out,
You are but a son of an evil thought,
Speaker of all things dark,
You are the fool without a soul
You wear his mark
What, did Satan not love you enough?

I was born with many gifts
from God  given to me
A heart bursts with light and love 
A forgiving soul that knows know bounds
A mind so innocent
this wisdom keeps me whole-
- this mind does not forget.

It is
-the laughter, the sun, and the smell of Jasmine flowers
the moon, the lust, and fairy dust
-It is
through these things that
God lends his awesome powers!

They keep me full of hope and faith
- full of life and love
when you think you are lost
or out of God’s arm’s reach
look up into the skies
you’ll likely see a dove
with a ring in his beak
He’ll be flying high
with a message of recompense
It is true, we the meek
Yes, we shall inherit the Earth!

And tonite
it is
goodbye
as i write this to
you
my eyes are

dry at last
i stood
by you
through all that i could
until
at last
i could
feel

my
fear

that
fear
created
anger

the
anger
created

­my unhappiness
somehow
fueled

your demons
it
fed your
hunger

to

see

me shutter

in misery

you
thrived
on it
you
survived

on
my
fear
made you

strong

made me

weak

until

i
could
stand
no more

you

boxed me
in

you
made me
stand

alone
in a corner

my
disappointment
woke me

before
i died..

..before
you broke
me

when I was a puppy
her hand felt like the wind flowing
from my nose scalloping
ever so softly and like dry water
flowing over the ends
of my soft quill like fur
to the end of my waiting tail
she was my mistress
walking me with my pride
sharing our love
she smokes a cigarette
and seems to think of other people
we like to go walking together
my feet get to move so fast
I love and know
how to be right by her side
she is my mistress
I am her puppy