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May 2021 · 130
APART
Vani j May 2021
Apart
Apart
Apart
we are rivers apart
you came off of me
I came off of you
Now your tongue is gibberish
my gestures are sicklish
Now nothing can bring us
bring us back together
we are miles apart
miles and miles and galaxies and light years
APART
Jun 2019 · 291
Eyes
Vani j Jun 2019
everything is same
same for you
but my eyes have turned inside out
and now i can clearly see
all the things you said was just an elaborate lie
and i,a fool, got deceived
a sunflower among roses
saw the beautiful red ,
while your thorns left me bloodied
you have got your prize now
and lets hope you take your eyes off of me
Aug 2018 · 223
Special
Vani j Aug 2018
Everything is special
Or nothing is
In its own way
Dec 2017 · 280
Love
Vani j Dec 2017
Oh love
Aren't u a gift from above?!
Nov 2017 · 356
Devil's hold
Vani j Nov 2017
Won't he leave her now
More than two decades have gone by
Since she caught his fancy
He turns her stomach to knots
And leaves her heart cold
Throws her fast and catches her slow
She might not glitter
Because he has been stealing her gold
Everyone suspects she is the devil
But it's devil's hold
Oct 2017 · 274
FIGHT
Vani j Oct 2017
Oh I am trapped
trapped in this bottomless sea
fight I may
fight I need
fight I strong
fight I weak
Fighting is the captor
And fighting is the freedom I need
I keep sinking
Sinking to the end
And I keep flailing
Flailing to the deep
My heart is burnt out
And my head is burning with thoughts
I don't need.
Struggle I victim
Struggle for defeat
Love is a lost prison
Rusted in the sea
I can't find it's gates
And the freedom is killing me
I know you won't understand
U won't understand
The fight that I need
Oct 2017 · 221
Rain
Vani j Oct 2017
It was one of those days again
Her each sunshine sooner or later was akin to rain
Oct 2017 · 215
Poetry....
Vani j Oct 2017
She didn't write poetry
Poetry got written through her
Oct 2017 · 177
Oceans
Vani j Oct 2017
Oceans behind her retinal curtains
But she never cried
Oct 2017 · 189
Spineless
Vani j Oct 2017
He didn't like women with spine
He was Spineless
Oct 2017 · 227
Two way ending
Vani j Oct 2017
And you ....you want the cure/disease
But maybe I
I have started liking the disease/cure
And you ....you want to put your heart in the freezer/heater
But maybe I
I had developed a habit of putting
it in the oven
At 100 degrees heat/( it in the fridge)
Oct 2017 · 238
Selfish
Vani j Oct 2017
She was selfish
So selfish.. That she might ****...
But did she ever claim anything otherwise..

There is nothing great in sacrifice, she will tell you

Who burns their own hand,trying to douse the fire that is going to scar somebody else's heart

Who keeps themselves cold, when they can get the cheap light burning
down low

There is nothing.... nothing great in sacrifice

It takes a man to ignite himself with selfishness
And turn himself to dark
Reverse
Oct 2017 · 205
Swine
Vani j Oct 2017
She was angry
But now she is resigned
Like an ocean with remaining shells and sounds
He was in the mud,the swine
He threw some on her
Thinking that she will get *****
But the dirtiness was always in his mind
Everyone told her he might have ugliness beneath his beauty
But she thought maybe there was some tenderness hidden behind hard lines
Or That it might be the exception
Or maybe she just got lured
Shiny things attract us
And don't we go bumping in them all the time
But you can't tame a beast,MAN
It will bite you the moment it gets a chance
It will show you its ugliness
Much deeper than the ***** mud on the skin
An incurable....disease of the mind
And make you believe that ...maybe maybe it's just how he is
Or maybe its you....bringing out the beast in him
But let's be honest
Most of the time he is a calculated,conniving,cold hearted monster planning his sinister deeds,well in advance
He requires no apologists
Because All he is ....
is a heartless cold blooded Swine
Formally a pig might get offended by this
Oct 2017 · 165
Lotus
Vani j Oct 2017
You can be deep down in the muck
And still be a lotus
Saw it with my own eyes
Oct 2017 · 182
Body of Love
Vani j Oct 2017
Love left her body
And was found crawling on the floor
Tears of somebody
drowned her and brought her back ashore
Oct 2017 · 207
Anosmia
Vani j Oct 2017
Her smell permeated my soul so strongly
Now I have anosmia
Oct 2017 · 199
Sprints
Vani j Oct 2017
She does good in short games
Always.Always.Always
Give her white muscles,give her sprints
She doesn't stick for long ones
It ain't her thing
Continuity is her Kryptonite
One day is all she excels in
She can't stay,she is always runin
Her track record is long but it is always in short things
She is a good Jack of all
But ain't master of nothing
Oct 2017 · 178
Attention
Vani j Oct 2017
You can't hold it for long
And there are many delusions
Million stars in the sky and a billion blues in the ocean
You think you are close to edge and you will drop in the solution
But your mind just puts another thought in  motion
It's the contemplation about contemplating about contemplation
Oct 2017 · 227
Order and chaos
Vani j Oct 2017
John thought John was a nice man
John loved his family
John went to church
John paid his bills,for being a human
John was agreeable,to his colleagues and to charity
John paid his dues for being in a society
John loved animals
John even slipped a couple of notes to people begging on the streets


But John,John thought he was a bad man
John was constantly bleeding
John had a hole so big in his soul,but no one could find it
John loved his family but he was ready to quit anyday
John went to church ,but those hail Marys were bitter birch
John liked his colleagues and would have loved to put a little poison in their coffees
John paid his dues but couldn't stop the gagging in his throat everytime he did it
John once puked on the society and washed it squeaky clean so fast
No one could see it
John cared so much that he didn't give a **** by night

But he slept
Good John was punctual
No one was harmed during writing this ..
Also no offence to Jesus...
Oct 2017 · 1.3k
Blot
Vani j Oct 2017
She was a blot
Blot of emotions
She came oozing out of her mother's womb
Her first word was a cry
And she has been tender since then
Beauty of the world broke her
And her laugh was a wonder
Yet seldom she smiled
Because it was melancholy which has died her skin deeper
Deeper than everything else
She wondered...
Was it all because she was born at night?
Oct 2017 · 246
Box
Vani j Oct 2017
Box
They wanna put me in a box
They wanna put me in a box... real fast
They got all kinds ....
Just want to stick the label
So they won't feel confused
So they won't have to think about me hard
They need to sort
Like books on shelves
They want to trap me in a story...
..... in their heads
Rough draft
Sep 2017 · 219
And Love
Vani j Sep 2017
And love
What of love?!
Have you ever heard of a cage...
Glorified that much
Sep 2017 · 252
Soul-MAC
Vani j Sep 2017
Someone loves u
And It it makes you happy
But does it hide the absence of a soul...
Because you are looking shifty
struggling in plastic
Putting on your branded cheap lisptick
And you think you look good,
And you think if you look good, everything will be fine. Alas.
Sep 2017 · 236
Prosetry
Vani j Sep 2017
All the girls/boys that hated you
And all the boys/girls that you loved
There is a special place for them
Its neither heaven nor earth
Sep 2017 · 239
You
Vani j Sep 2017
You
I saw you cross the street
And thought... This is how lightening strike must feel like....

Sitting on the desk, when I saw you ducking your head through same doors I walked few minutes back...
I thought... This is what people must mean about life being unfair

I still remember the first question that came out of your mouth(you asked the professor) .. And I thought... This is what losing one's mind must feel like...

When I saw you smiling with another girl, I didn't feel jealous
Was it because I was sure she will not be able to maintain your interest.... For long.. And thought... this is what vanity must feel like

My mind registered... When you were not in the class... And i thought..this is what delusion must feel like

I couldn't help myself from looking at you.... At times... And i thought...this is what looking at a car crash must feel like

I still remember the colour of your shirt that day... Even though i hardly remember anything else and i think...
Work in progress
Sep 2017 · 350
Maroon Sweater
Vani j Sep 2017
The boy with the maroon sweater
You took her heart and threw it in the gutter

The boy with the maroon sweater
She tried her best but you were always better

The boy with the maroon sweater
She knew you were smart but you were an early quitter
Sep 2017 · 211
Blue Blue
Vani j Sep 2017
Blue Blue Blue Blue Blue
But she was so
True True True True True
Sep 2017 · 218
Poetry
Vani j Sep 2017
Poetry is baring your soul...naked.
Sep 2017 · 445
Girl with Empty Heart
Vani j Sep 2017
Is it love?!
She asked herself
Do u even know him well?!
She told herself
Are u so fickle?!
She reprimanded herself
Do u believe in love at first sight?!
She chided herself
But still she went crying and sighing behind closed doors for years
What was she searching for?!
Was it his love or just love?!
Well the damage was done
Now her heart seemed so big
It will hardly be filled by his love
And she will always be the girl with the empty heart
Sep 2017 · 197
SunRise
Vani j Sep 2017
She had beautiful eyes
They looked like sunrise
Sep 2017 · 284
Drowning
Vani j Sep 2017
She wished she had more depth.....
Although she was already drowning
Aug 2017 · 499
Apologie
Vani j Aug 2017
I am sorry
If you don't like my poems
I am sorry
That even if you don't like them you still sometimes have to see them
But you know i can't stop writing
Sometimes even when there is no rhyme or reason
I sometimes even question myself why why do i write them?
And what do i want from them?!
I know they are far from the lyrical analogy of a well formed mind deeply inclined towards touching the chords of another heart in a random tandem
But i can't stop
So pardon
Aug 2017 · 295
Ceecee
Vani j Aug 2017
You talk of everything, Ceecee
But you mean nothing, Ceecee
You talk about the world, Ceecee
But you are not of this world, Ceecee
You are kind Ceecee
And  you are one of a kind, Ceecee
But tell me
......
Are u the disease, Ceecee
Or will you be the ultimate cure, Ceecee
Are those your eyes, Ceecee
Or is that the reflection of me that i find nice, Ceecee
Are you the veins,
Or are you the arteries Ceecee
Are you taking away
Or are you bringing in the Pain, Ceecee
Will it be the ultimate love
Or will it eventually go dilute, Ceecee
Aug 2017 · 203
Retrospect
Vani j Aug 2017
Cruelty doesn't make her cry anymore,
Those rose thorns don't hurt so much
As a sweet caress
Sweet words do
They hurt, they touch
They make her cry
They make her wonder
Where did they come from
Chinese fingergames
Angry child...
Breaks her
Its like waiting
Small a gesture
Can hurt you so much
Aug 2017 · 291
Tippy toe
Vani j Aug 2017
feel too much
Scratch the surface
Rose petals
Stain on the cheeks
Smile without reason
Songs make u blush
Think too much
Sleepless nights
Testing waters
page after page unread
Am I in love
Or its just love?!
Aug 2017 · 535
Cactus and Rose
Vani j Aug 2017
All the world's happiness is for you and there is nothing for me
You got a garden full of beautiful roses
And i got a garden full of succulent cacti trees
I know even roses have thorns
And sometimes u too bleed
But imagine bleeding all the time
Because that's the fate of having a cacti tree
Yes even cactus have flowers,
On those rare occasions
But have u ever seen anyone talking about cacti flowers
Oh the horrors of being a little flower on a much thorny tree?!
Aug 2017 · 272
Elegy
Vani j Aug 2017
Thou art so cruel world
Every time he went out
A little something in him died...
A tribute to Chester Bennington
Jul 2017 · 235
That one
Vani j Jul 2017
She asked me my name
And although i had no intention of telling her
I ended up revealing more than she could contain
It was play pretend from then on
I sometimes tried to touch her heart
But my hands passed through
At times she felt like a hologram
She was busy doing chores
while i was counting painful scores
We held each other close
But we couldn't be farther
She was pieced together so tightly
And i was fragmented so badly
But what was common was
We both were broken once
And still are...
Jul 2017 · 230
U & Me
Vani j Jul 2017
You and me
There is a sea between you and me
Its colored blue.
Jul 2017 · 220
Black/White Magic
Vani j Jul 2017
If you ever knew a woman truly,
You came close to magic
White magic, black magic
Jun 2017 · 243
Love & War
Vani j Jun 2017
She was always in love
And he was always at war
Jun 2017 · 232
Sweet
Vani j Jun 2017
She was the kind of sweet that made you choke back your tears
and count them again when you were alone.....
Jun 2017 · 503
Blue
Vani j Jun 2017
She inhaled the sky
And gave birth to clouds...
Jun 2017 · 270
Fragrance of Remembrance
Vani j Jun 2017
His poems were beautiful
They smelled of roses and rain
With a hint of glistening summer tan
She wreathed them into her hair
And they dissolved into air
Leaving behind
Fragrance of Remembrance
Jun 2017 · 233
Puzzled
Vani j Jun 2017
She was a book of puzzles.
In a cover so plain.
It was puzzling.
Jun 2017 · 278
Green man
Vani j Jun 2017
I was a desperate terrible teen
And no all those years, were never green
Now that i lay here lying in smithereens
I think green was a color that never actually truly suited me
And blues...were well blues
For if you ever find yourself a green man
And ask him to show you his,
You will be out of count
my friend...
Let me tell u this..
As it has always been
Jun 2017 · 313
A game of two
Vani j Jun 2017
Give me something of yours that won't die....
If you are reading this, thanks for your TIME!
A game of two. Dedicated to U.. Yes U
Jun 2017 · 225
Dilemma
Vani j Jun 2017
Love was lying there
Begging her to hold his hand
But she was afraid of losing her stand
Jun 2017 · 397
Of Little women
Vani j Jun 2017
She always wanted to be Jo, always
But she was always scared what if she was Beth?!
The thought made her gut churn,
she felt pukish , horrified
She looked at her bitten nails....
The sweet sickly Beth
Who cared so much
And made herself sick
Caring about others
About things
With no lover
Only her family
All alone
With worries...
Beth was not a warrior
Just a worrier
Worried sick

She knew there was nothing of  Meg in her, nothing
Meg was too safe
Too practical

But there were parts of Amy in every march

Each one of them marched to their own beat.....
But  Beth was just a beating heart....
Or maybe she was just a coward
A true hamlet  trapped in endless to be or not to be
She will make you want to throttle her and save her at the same time

Beth needed sacrifice....
To survive
Or was she the sacrifice?!
May 2017 · 316
Willow wallow
Vani j May 2017
Willow will you weep for me?!
Or are you already weeping for someone else...
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