I stare at the ripples and the waves
Swaying purely and freely from all restrain
Small sea ***** wander for display
The earth beneath my feet swiftly crumbles
Like all the tumbles and mazes in my head
I’m torn between reality & this mystical world
Shifting between my dreams and unconscious
A blessing & a curse to what could have been
I walk into the sea
As it meets me with my reflection
Visionary images that define my life
The scars & bruises hold tight to my skin
I swim in deeper hoping they will fade away
Only tiny air bubbles swim around my soul
Noting really matters anymore
All the struggles & pain drift away
The ocean plays my sanctuary
I become the ripples and the waves
Swaying purely and freely from all restrain

Honey suckle sweet sky            
Sun rays blend with your ocean blue
Memories & thoughts begin to suffocate me
Lyrics & beats drown in my ears
As I try and hold back all these tears
My favorite line plays in my head
“When he put that bottle down, girl that man's amazing”
Blackouts and lack of control
**** bitter world, anything but social justice
Yet, I majored in humanity
Due to my insanity
What I’d give to take back the time
To say goodbye
A little closure…**** what a time to die
Scar tissue accumulates on my battered heart
As I watch you fall beneath the earth
I buried you and with it my faith
Chaos & fuked up **** everywhere I turn
P.O.C.’s working hard, holding on to that false dream
To be judged by character, not by color
Jr. was a true ideal
But still, millions searching for some spare to buy their next meal
I’m privileged with books and mentors
Doesn’t mean the years of pain and sadness ceased
Majored in humanity to find salvation
Trying to break free from my personal mummification
Inexplicable moments and connections
Difficulty letting go of these several relations
Too overwhelmed, I can’t even fuken finish expressing emotions

​Filling the empty holes of your tainted spine
A spine that has been pierced over and over
Like blade that sank in the Aztec heart one last time
Shattered and battered, as you still stand on two feet
As the spiders begin to web those ripped shreds
A slow and painful process, echoing in the silence
Of my mouth, that will no longer sing.

The lock on my mouth tightens
My ears turn red
Like the tied knots in my stomach
All the dripping sweat…
The hard work goes to waste
Fear stares me in the face
How I dread that bitter taste
All I hear is that **** beating
Questions and Questions
Mexican? American? Hispanic? Chicano? Latino?
I say neither
The lock on my mouth tightens
Insecurities and bruises underneath my skin
You’re not good enough or smart enough
Stop trying, there’s no such thing as luck
So buckle up
This road I take isn’t easy
I see yellow, brown, and black
But I don’t forget the clouds above are White
It’s time for change I say
Course after course
Finding pieces to my key
My consciousness now aware
I’m brilliant
Now I begin to believe and see
The lock on my mouth opens
I can finally hear my voice breathe
I say “It’s interesting you feel that way”
Now it’s my turn to speak.